I Stand Watch (Reposted-deleted account)
by Lunaschild2016
Summary: Talia Masters is a walking weapon. Made by force and then by choice. She helped end the threat but now she is struggling to find her way as something beyond a weapon. Eric gladly bore the burden of hate and the blood on his hands to save his faction but always hoped to find something more. Now that he found her, can he get her to see herself as more too? Eric/OC AU M Slow Burn
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Trying my hand at a different kind of Eric. This will be AU and the war was prevented. Still obsessed with the Washington area so it will be set there. Choosing age was moved to 18 and this will be the first group to choose since that and other changes were made.**

 **Disclaimer: Roth owns the Divergent Universe I just like to run amok in it.**

 **The Hub- Special Meeting**

The Hub was bustling with the sounds of voices and movement as members, dependents, and leaders of all factions took their seats for the special meeting that was being held by the Interfaction Council. Tonight the meeting was scheduled to announce the changes that would be made to the cities system in place for dependent education, placement and preparation allowances prior to The Choosing.

The city's society was broken down into five factions that each held to a certain set of core beliefs, modes of behaviour and roles in the society.

The ruling of the city itself was done by the council which had two leaders from each faction represented and those members voted on the issues at hand for their faction. It was a joint decision of all five factions combined and things from education, budgets for city maintenance or faction budgets were all decided by votes from those council members.

The factions themselves had their own internal council and government. Leaders were the ruling body of the factions and internal decisions were made through those individuals.

Abnegation, Amity, Candor, Dauntless and Erudite were the name of the factions and the system was set up in place after the great war several hundred years ago that wiped out most of the earth's population. There were rumours that there are other cities in far away places. If there were no contact has been made and there are no visitors from outside of the great fenced in wall that was built surrounding the city. Beyond that massive circular creation lies nothing but the waste, although that isn't exactly correct it is just nothing that would be survivable unless in communities like the one that was established in their city. What exactly is in the waste only few of the faction Dauntless that are charged with the protection and policing of the area in and surrounding what was once known as Seattle, Washington and the smaller cities around it. The city proper itself is vast but the once towering and marvel of buildings could be seen to be crumbling and ruins in many of the sections. Beyond the city though and still within the walls the factions had their own distinct sectors and living areas.

Amity took up the areas of fields and forests that extended into mountains and lakes. Their beliefs are that of a love of nature, peace and harmony. Once they would have been referred to has hippies and some respects that is true. Their role is that of the farmers, livestock handlers and in general the producers of the fresh fruit, veggies, meat, and fish that are so important to the city and it's residents. They prefer peaceful actions and are often looked to as the mediators within disputes. They believe in non-confrontation, happiness and have been known to administer things like peace or calming serums to their own members during internal disputes or to settle behavioral issues. In keeping with the love of nature, Amity usually wear loose or flowing clothes in shades of reds and yellows but also like softer colors like pink and pastels.

Abnegation is the faction of selflessness and sacrifice. They are a plain and austere people that look to helping others above all else and seek no indulgences or luxuries. Because of their belief in putting others before themselves they were also the figureheads of the government. Helping to guide and handle the day to day running of the city. The took up the part of the city proper that was most in disrepair and lived in rows of uniform grey concrete homes that were plain and serviceable. Their sector was also close to the buildings and ruins that house the main charge that Abnegation was in charge of, the Factionless. Those people that either choose to leave their factions or were forced out and had no homes or places in their societies. They were what pre-war cities would have referred to as the homeless and most factions considered them beneath them because they did not fit in or contribute. Abnegation dress modestly in shades of lighters shades of grey, do not believe in makeup or any adornments of any kind or vanity at all.

Dauntless are the warrior faction of the society. Their role is that of police, military, and protectors. If there is any faction that should truly remain neutral in the makeup of politics of the factions, it would be Dauntless but that has not always been possible or done. The Dauntless have an entire sector that is within the city but extends to the rugged and wild land surrounding them. The center of Dauntless headquarters is something of a secret. There are known entrances but those are only known to either other faction leaders, the patrols and members of the faction. This is done for the protection of the members but also just a part of the way of life of the Dauntless people. Dauntless are thought of as wild, unintelligent generally, daredevils and brash. They sport tattoos, piercings and wild hairstyles to go along with their normal black clothes that are their own faction colors.

Candor are the lawmakers, lawyers, counselors and run the court system and jail system with Dauntless. They believe in honesty above all and are very good at reading body language to detect lies or intentions. They live in huge complexes within the city itself so that they are near to the main civic centers. Candor generally wore white as it symbolizes the purity of truth they believe in but they are also known to pair it with black as well. They are known to administer truth serum to it's own members but also to those that they are questioning for trials or other of their duties.

Finally there is Erudite, the faction of knowledge, refinement, industry or technology, medicine and philosophy. The roles an Erudite have are varied from medical to research to teaching, but they all believe in obtaining as much knowledge as possible and remaining logical and as unemotional as possible. They are also on the verge of trying to play for power that they believe rightly belongs to them because of their vast intelligence. The have sectors that had pristine suburb houses or just as pristine and sleek highrises and wore the shades of blue they believed to be superior and refined.

For over a year the city's council has been working on overhauling the system that provides each faction with the new generations. A rite of passage occurs when a dependent reaches a certain age. Each child is tested for the trait that will place them into the home they are best suited for. Before now that age was 16 and once the test was done the dependent made a choice during something called The Choosing, in which they would either base the choice of where they would spend the rest of their lives and leave everything they knew behind, including family and family ties based on the characteristics the test revealed they had. Before that though the children were educated in the basics to be able to function but all other education was dictated by the factions themselves.

Tonight all of this would change. There was unrest in the city and disfunction that had begun to slowly tear the last known city of man apart.

The proposals were simple yet would change the fabric of everything that was known so had taken a year of mediation, negotiations, preparation and arguments.

In the Erudite section Natalia Masters sat beside her father and Senior Member Jamison. They looked to be the perfect Erudite's, properly dressed and groomed in the shades of blue their faction wear. Natalia in her dark blue pencil skirt with her long sleeved button up lighter blue shirt, dark blue heels and glasses that were fake but expected to be worn. Natalia's honey colored hair was tamed into the perfect bun and her fake glasses were properly perched on her nose. Their backs were straight and chins high as they waited for order to be called but her gold/amber hazel eyes missed nothing and took everything in, calculating and cataloging.

From the posture of her own father and most of the Erudite leadership, Natalia could tell that they were not happy with the decisions that were made. Which caused her heart to pick up and a tiny bit of hope bloomed into her chest. If they were not happy that meant the changes were approved and she and her brother in all but blood might just be able to make their escape.

The meeting was called to order by the Abnegation leader Andrew Prior. Andrew had only recently assumed Senior Leader position within the faction after the arrest of the former one Marcus Eaton. Soon he announced the meeting begun.

"Good evening ladies and gentleman of our great city. Today is a special evening meeting that has been called to announce the final agreements that were reached by the appointed council members from each faction in regards to the overhaul of education, choosing age, preparation allowances prior to choosing and the aptitude testing for dependents to place them in their faction. We would like to welcome you all that could be with us here in person as well as those watching via broadcast."

Andrew Prior was a kind looking man in his mid to late thirties with sandy blonde hair, blue eyes and a calmness that even outstripped most of the Abnegation faction. What most did not know about Andrew was, that as calm and sacrificing as he could be and how much he exemplified his faction's beliefs, he was also capable of great fierceness, intelligence and determination. Part of his rise to Senior Leader after Marcus Eaton's crimes of abuse and corruption had been found were because of those traits. Andrew was also one of the main driving forces behind helping to keep this project moving forward instead of being stalled or swept away by the Erudite holdouts that were hoping for entirely different results.

"As many are aware for the past year details for the proposal have been worked on and this week agreements were reached. Let us not waste time in getting the announcement of those changes that will take place starting with this new school year after this upcoming choosing."

"First, all faction dependents will now have several inter-faction classes that will be shared in the basic courses and standards. The core classes will be: math, english, history, health, physical fitness and finally faction history and studies. In all of these core classes the basic classes will begin with primary aged students and will progress in secondary school. Advanced classes in all of these core subjects will be open to all faction dependents and will be determined by testing at the end of each school year to determine what level the individual is at and can be placed. There will also now be electives that dependents can test into if the traits and skill levels reveal that would have them excel in those classes. This will also play into the preparation for their future factions."

Andrew paused and allowed that to sink in and there were murmurings among the crowd, some good and some bad. "Let us talk about these electives and give examples. They are too varied to go into every single one but packets will be sent out to homes with dependents so that parents can begin to help make the decisions that will provide the best future for their children. Let me make this clear though right now, each child will be assigned counselors and during testing the counselor and educators, along with the students will make the decisions of what classes our future generations will participate in. What does this mean exactly? An example will be languages other than the core language of english both spoken and written. Currently there are bare handfuls of dependents outside of Erudite that are allowed or even tested to see if they have the ability or desire to learn any other languages. This will now be open to all dependents and depending on the testing could start out as young as primary age. That is an example of the electives that are being referenced. Classes that had previously been limited to be attended by only of the faction of origin will now be open to all with testing and guidance of our educators."

There were more raised voices and all council members stood, a gesture calling for silence so that the meeting could continue.

Andrew smiled in thanks to his co-counsels and then turned over the floor to William from Erudite to begin on the discussion of the testing. "It has been mentioned before that there will be testing during the school career of our children but there is also to be a change to the aptitude testing for faction placement or recommendations. The testing will now feature: skills, mental, physical, emotional and psychological to help place our children. Before now the results were based on a series of scenarios that the child would work through and based on their actions they received a recommendation. This was found to be illogical and detrimental to our society. Our children are born into a faction and from their first breath they are taught, guided and forced to behave as that faction would see them behave. They know no other way and in the end it could be completely unsuited to them and against our very beliefs on why our society was set up the way it was. The systems are already developed and will be launched for this new choosing year."

William sat with a formal nod to Andrew and Natalia and Logan gauged their factions reactions. Some were impressed with the depth of development and logical thinking of the changes. Other's like her father were furious and only because of their knowledge of his demeanor and tells was her aware of this. Natalia was elated because maybe there was real hope for her finally. To finally escape from her father and other Erudite elite's beliefs that caused her own father to perform unspeakable acts to herself and the other dependents. Experiments, abuse and forced training all with the mind that Erudite believed they are superior and they should rule everything. Logan allowed a very brief pressing of his knee to hers to let her know he too held the hope and fear that were both coursing through their system. The thing they were now waiting for was what age they could make their escape.

Andrew once again picked up and the question the two blood oath siblings had was answered. "As for the determination of age it has been decided this will be changed as well. Currently our children are forced to choose at the tender and unstable age of 16. Too few years to know who they are and gain the knowledge we now know they need to thrive. It has also been shown that because of the physical changes that our children undergo during that age, this adds to stress that have caused many deaths, improper transfers or failing to fit in. As of this year only those that are 18 or will be turning 18 within that same year or initiation time frame will be allowed to choose. Special dispensations maybe be allowed for rare cases of emancipation or orphans but those will be submitted to a panel that will be comprised of educators and council members from all factions"

The sound of the roaring was all that Natalia was able to make out as her thoughts and fear collided in her head at the announcement of the age change. Almost three years would be a very long time to have to remain under the not so tender mercies of her father. Two years of more experiments and training weighed on her shoulders. So much so that she barely knew the meeting had concluded and that she alone was in her bed of the home she had chosen to make for herself when she had been removed from her father's home to stem the gossip and to appear as if Erudite were doing something about the abuse.

Later that night though Logan stole into her room after he had made sure that it was clear and he wouldn't be followed. He leant her comfort and Natalia made her own plans.

"This changes nothing Logan. We will prepare in every way we can. Now we know they will allow us to do projects and classes. We will make our escape but we will have to play the part." Natalia looks into the brown eyes of the boy who has been truly her brother in all but blood and last name.

"We know now what they want from me. They will train me as the commander of their army. I will use this to my advantage and take every skill they give me. I will work on projects for dauntless and our city but I will play into that we will use it for Erudite when they make their move. Logan, you will want to protect me and try to take this mantle on. But you cannot do this, I must bear this burden because I am the pure divergent. They can't control me like they think they can, like I have let them believe. Promise me you will let me do this Logan?"

She grasped his hand desperately and Logan's eyes shone with tears but he understood. "I promise Talia, but when it comes time to fight we fight together."

Natalia sighs and relaxes, then blood brother and sister allow each other to relax together and fall asleep with a glimmer of hope shining in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N In this Eric and Four are older at 19 or so when it starts. Talia and Tris are the same age and choosing year and 2 years or so younger.**

 **Chapter 2**

 **6 months later- Amity Sector**

The cold was biting even through the thick wool jacket, gloves and boots the two men in black wore as they waited at the edge of thick forest near the mountain range of the rendezvous point.

The taller of the two men cocked his head to the side at the signal of alert that their contact was approaching. He never once lowered his guard or weapon. When the site of the person they were waiting for stepped from behind the massive trunk of the trees so prevalent in the area, only then did the one relax slightly, but he would not truly relax until the hand-off was complete as well as the mission.

"Eric, how are things?" Came the ragged voice of a similarly dressed man with auburn hair cut close, tanned and weathered skin and a smirk on his face.

"Funny Amar, obviously things are just fucking peachy." Eric scowled at his former Instructor, his mentor and friend. Amar is also thought dead by everyone but a very select few in Dauntless and Eric was the one that was rumoured and taking the credit for purposes of playing a role, to be the one to have killed him. Eric sighed and glanced to the shorter, stockier Asian man next to him. "George you remember the rules. You cannot come back to the city or try and make any contact with anyone. If we need you or when this is over then we will make contact. I know this will be hard George and Tori will think you are dead. This will protect her though."

George frowned and nodded "They have already found the body you arranged for?"

Eric nodded with his lips thinned, the dead factionless man's body had been drug from The Chasm yesterday and the traditional funeral celebration was held. Eric had arranged for the DNA scans to register as George and the rumour mill was once again at work that Eric had killed yet again. Eric hated being the most feared and hated man in the faction that was his very soul, he had the true heart of a Dauntless. He hated to have to hold himself away from the very people that he was trying to protect but it was a burden he would gladly pay to keep Erudite from their machinations and plans.

Amar sensed the young man's trouble and burden and sighed, he was so young at barely 19. "We can hope it will be over soon Eric and that you can lay this burden down. Until then know that not all hold hate for you. I know of at least ten former dauntless, erudite and factionless here that look on you as the hero you are. One day it will be known."

Eric sighed wearily and shrugged "I will settle for it all being over and Dauntless being able to heal. A supply drop from Amity will be in the usual spot, we will check in as usual. Until then, hopefully the winter isn't too harsh. I need to get back to the compound and then meet with Jeanine. She will want a full report and debriefing for her next set of instructions. I will also try make sure we get updates on the status of things in the city in general. There have been some interesting changes."

Sensing Eric's eagerness to get going and see the men off, they both clasps arms together before Amar and George ghost into the dense forest and Eric Coulter, Leader of Dauntless once again assumes his menacing and hard stare then moves with deadly grace back to headquarters and the role as ruthless murdering bastard.

Hours later, when he is once again in the Dauntless Compound Eric strides into the dining hall in his normal attire of black sleeveless vest, tight black t-shirt, black tight cargo pants, black combat boots and the menacing glare his steel grey eyes are famous for. His trademark sneer is pasted on as the dining hall goes quiet at his entry to dinner. His dermal piercings above his right eye quirks as one new initiate gasps and squeaks when he walks by the table the transfers from this years choosing occupy. Eric would think after being in the compound and in his presence for past three months would have lessened that reaction, but then again it hasn't for even long time members. His whole demeanor promotes it though. His perfectly styled hair that is shaved on the sides but longer at the top and down the middle in a perfect wave...it just starts the menacing look off. It continues with the dermal piercings, the hard look in his eyes down to the black gauges in his ears and into the mouth that is usually thinned in a sneer, smirk or anger. His leadership tattoos run from his jawline to his collar bones on either side of his face and then the only other tattoos that are visible are that of the maze and symbol tattoos that grace his powerful forearms. His body is hard from continual training of every kind and while he draws looks from women and he has the reputation for being a womanizer, he barely acknowledges them. Occasionally he will give in and seek release. He has been a leader for 2 years and Dauntless for three altogether and already his reputation is legendary.

Eric takes a tray and grabs his food before making his way to the table where the Senior Leader Max waits, sitting with other senior members and his own wife. Eric takes his seat in front of him and gives a single nod letting him know the mission is complete and a success. Max gave a nod back, a small weary sigh and then all traces of that were removed as the two men began to eat and talked about normal Dauntless matters.

Around Eric were the glares, the whispers of hate and other various states of gossip but Eric held his head high, his back straight and let it roll off his shoulders. Somewhere in his heart though he held a hope, that somewhere, someone could see beyond that one day. That one day he would have what Max and Daria who sit beside each other across from him have. Until then though he would endure and he would protect. He would let himself be the machine he was honed to be but he wouldn't use it the way Jeanine fucking Matthews intended him to be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **8 months later - Erudite Labs**

Natalia sighed as the final production results were inputed and she submitted the information for the last in a long string of projects she had been feverishly developing.

The beep of the security door had her turning as she stretched and looked at the newcomer. When she saw the many labcoats of a few senior members coming in, Natalia assumed the demeanor of the proper Erudite ice princess and daughter of a respected member.

She gave a brief nod to them as they did so as well. Without a word they inspected the lab, reviewed her work and gave the stamp of approval for her newest project completion.

"Natalia, we are all very impressed with the trials for the stabilizing serum you have developed. As always excellent work. Leadership is in the process of negotiations with Dauntless as per your suggestions for them to incorporate this with the Fear Sims that are so vital to their faction. This will be quite the coup for us as it will give Dauntless one more thing to need us for. We must say we have quite enjoyed overseeing the projects that you have undertaken." The smarmy twenty something Erudite Research Head for Projects that fell under Dauntless purview, said in his best charming and seductive voice. At almost 17 Natalia had bloomed into womanhood beautifully. Not that she was aware of it or even cared. Her focus was escape, protection and survival.

She looked to Alejandro and gave a polite smile "I have enjoyed my time working on the projects. I take Silas has requested that I move on to other aspects now?"

Alejandro gave a sigh of regret and nodded, regret that he wouldn't have more time to work his charms on the young girl and bed her. "Yes, in fact he is requesting your presence now. I believe he will be sending you and select group to another location for some other projects."

Inside Natalia quaked but then scoffed and steeled herself. She would be sent for more conditioning and training as would the team that she had been forced to take command of. Five total Erudite dependents were being trained and used as assassins, muscle, bodyguards and what would form the command of the army her father and the leaders were hoping to create.

Natalia gave a tight smile and stood gathering her things and excused herself with all the proper decorum. She traveled swiftly through the labs into the main lobby until she reached the waiting car that would take her away to whatever location they would be taken to next.

One more year she repeated in her head. One more year and then she could escape this hell. She had already made progress on compiling evidence against Erudite, she made backup plans in case of pre-emptive attacks. She created the serum that would keep her and her team sane during the mind experiments that were performed on them, but mainly her if she could help it. She also made sure that it would be able to be adapted for Dauntless. She had made weapons, armor, marvels of machines that could help to restore buildings that are crumbling to livable conditions to improve conditions in the factionless sector, she created drone technology that was used for intel to help protect Dauntless patrols with various features but also could be weaponized.

During it all she had been honed mentally by her father and the leaders as well as physically, part of the experiments were the enhancements that helped it all along. Martial training, conditioning, hacking, sabotage, stealth, tactics, demolitions….she was being made into a lethal machine but inside she had never let them break her. She was defiant in her core and knew who she was and where she belonged. She played her role though and let them arm her knowing that soon she would find a way to bring them down.

She had already done a few things to help out though it could never be known. The leader she had helped escape detection as he smuggled one of her future targets out of the city never noticed her as she ghosted him. She had been sent to take out the target, they thought she was under their control. She took out targets, just her own. She had made sure the two men had made their way safely and that the leader had made it back to his compound. Now she knew she could fight the control and she could fool them doing it. Now she knew at least one Dauntless she might be able to trust.

The car pulled up along with the other four of her team members that were also just arriving. Logan and Natalia shared a brief look, a series of twitches in their faces that conveyed their secret messages of love for each other. That was all they allowed themselves anymore. They couldn't be seen as being too attached to anyone anymore, not openly. They had to hide their friendships or their attempts to have lives outside of the hell they were put though. They were weapons after all.

There was a full moon tonight that reflected the light that shined in her gold/hazel eyes. Eyes that could at this point be devoid of life or emotion. That could be burdened with the damage and pain that had been inflicted on her, instead they flashed the life and vitality that flickered from within. She made a promise to herself she wouldn't let them take that from her and she wouldn't. Her core was untouchable and special. One day maybe she could share it freely again but until then she sheltered it and walled it off. Her spine straight, her chin high Natalia walked in front of her squad and led the way into whatever lay before them for the next few months. Then they would take their aptitude tests soon and be that much closer to escape.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Six Months Later - Erudite Headquarters Secured Lab and base of operations for government take over**

The cell door opened and the fiery gold eyes of the girl took in the sounds as she ghosted through the building to her Silas' station. She had few hours to prepare before they launched their attack. Inwardly Natalia cursed herself for not being able to predict this. She had known they wanted to attack Abnegation eventually and begin to take over the government. She had thought that they were aiming to convince Dauntless to join them. Apparently they had abandoned that approach after two leaders of Dauntless joined forces with them to arm and control the factionless instead. It boiled her blood that they were using the techs she had created against those she had created them to protect. How could those two men turn on their own brothers and sisters?

She had only learned that the attack was being planned when Silas and Jeanine had decided that she alone of her squad was worth protecting should anything go wrong. Not even his own fucking son Dylan had been a second thought. She was the purest divergent and the most highly skilled. Silas had stashed her away in a cell near enough to the control room that should they need to escape she could be grabbed and they would be gone. He had also made it just that much easier for her to bring their plans down around their ears.

She had hacked out of the cell easily and now was using all her skills in stealth and unarmed combat to ghost through and kill if she needed to. She needed to get much done before the attacks were to begin at dawn and she couldn't spare a second. If she had to spill blood of a few to save so many more, she would bare that burden.

Slipping easily into his office and accessing his computer she began to work. First, she disabled the arming capabilities for the weapons on the drones, those needed to be done first. Then she sent out encrypted and urgent messages to her team to gather her equipment and theirs then to be ready at a set of coordinates she had set up in the case she needed to gain access to this office. She never thought she would need it as a rescue operation of sorts.

Next was trickier but vital. She had to hack into the tablet phone networks of those in Dauntless she knew would be able to mobilize and that could be trusted. She worked quickly and sent out the information she could. Once that was done she compiled data and press release information should the attacks happen and Jeanine and Silas succeed. They would try to fool the city and spin it and she could not allow that. Should that happen, and she would die before it did, she set the trigger of information release into a nanite she had injected herself with. If her heart stopped it would begin the process, the leaders and her father would not win. She would gladly pay that price to keep her city safe. Even if she had to put the bullet into her own brain to make it happen.

After that she began to prepare herself mentally, physically and waited. She located the air vent she needed to access and moved quickly to rendezvous with her team. Before she left though she made one stop, she already knew the wishes of three of her team members. If they were successful they wanted to forget it all. Forget the factionless they had been made to collect, torture or kill. Forget the abuse and torture they went through, forget they are walking weapons. She grabbed the memory serums and the programmer so that she could carry out that wish if it came to it. She had already stashed away a source of the data nanites and she would keep those in her heart until it all ended, one way or another.

 **Dauntless OP Team**

When the attacks happened it was quick and precise, all executed so quickly they should have decimated the targets. Eric could not quite understand how they had been warned or why most of the factionless started coming out of the controlled sims they were under. Why the drones that should have been firing as they were being controlled to do went inert and harmless. It was the only thing that had saved as much as had been.

Abnegation and Erudite suffered damage while the rest of the city had no clue there was anything amiss until the news of it happened within the evening. Abnegation had not suffered as heavy of losses thanks to whoever or whatever provided the intel. Erudite suffered losses for two reasons though. There were factionless that were set to guard those perpetrating the attacks and then there were the Erudite that fought with the Dauntless against this betrayal of their life and faction.

Eric led a small team through the corridors of the lab that was set up as the control room using the intel and location beacon sent to his personal tablet. He could only take five people with him. But he trusted them and knew they were capable.

Eric, Connor, Max, Hector, Zeke and Leo worked their way through the corridors to the secured room. Along the way they had run into dead factionless or what looked to be Erudite security. No gun wounds to show cause of death. It looks as if necks were snapped and other silent lethal takedowns. It was curious because it was almost as if the way had been cleared for the small Dauntless op team. Eric could see that the same thought was on all of the other men's faces. Whoever had sent the information had done more than just forewarned them. They had made sure their mission would succeed.

Eric called a halt when his tablet beeped with the ping signifying they were in front of the door to the control room. A message popped up on the screen to stand back. The wall made of liquid polymer melted away into a doorway and the team proceeded with caution.

They expected to have to fight or find more people, but they instead found knocked out Jeanine, Silas, Jackie, William and then close by the traitors of their own faction, Jerry and Arrow. Max's eyes were hard as he looked down at the prone forms of two Dauntless leaders that none of them would ever imagine having betrayed them all.

Max eyes and voice went hard as he started barking orders. "Tie those fuckers up, tie them all up and get Bastian up here to administer the serum to wake them. Start the download and gathering evidence and have the investigators from Candor that are waiting sent up with their escorts. You have to investigate the dead in the hallway too. If we have to take all the equipment of this faction with us then fucking do it."

Connor snapped to attention and started to follow orders as Zeke, Hector and Leo started securing everyone, starting with their own Faction traitors. Eric began accessing the terminals and scanning the information with the codes they were given. His eyes moving quickly over all of the information barely noticing that the medic team had moved into revive the prisoners until he heard her. The bitches shrill voice that even now would claim she was in the right.

Eric snapped around his eyes hard as he stalked over to see Jeanine Matthews on her knees next to Silas Sanders. His body coiled and he drew his sidearm before he could think he had done it.

He didn't fire, though fuck if he didn't want to so fucking badly. Max had moved towards him and was speaking but Eric didn't hear him. His face wasn't angry as he looked in both of their eyes and let his cold and dominating voice ring through the lab. "Jeanine Matthews, Silas Sanders, Jackie Hughes, William Latner you are hereby remanded into custody to await justice for the crimes against your city, your faction and your families. May justice come on swift wings."

With that he holstered his weapon and turned before he gave into the cold rage burning in his body. What held him back wasn't that he couldn't kill them because he could. He had no problem killing if it was to save his city, his faction, his family. He would gladly and had gladly carried that burden. It was because something told him not only was this the absolute right thing to do, it was what was needed to heal so many and maybe even himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - 8 Months Later- The Hub Choosing Ceremony**

Natalia walked with a bounce in her step down the steps to the stage. She didn't hesitate as she took the knife, walking right over to the Dauntless bowl. Cutting herself as she grinned with her mischievous smile and dimples showing let her blood drop onto the coals. Then as she faced the crowd still smiling. She spun the knife in her hand as if testing the balance causing the Dauntless to cheer before she stopped the spinning but then tossed it into the air and caught it by the handle. With a cheeky wink she handed the knife to the attendant, who blushed to his ears, before going to join her new faction.

She walked towards the rows of black and her heart almost stuttered when she saw him. Who was standing and looking as if he was going to pull her to him. His maze tattoos that she had vaguely seen that once, but his face and his presence were still just as captivating to her as when she had seen justice in personification. He breath caught and her skin flushed slightly at the thought that he just might pull her to him though she didn't know where that thought came from. Instead though, he smirked at her with his eyebrow quirked and motioned to the seat he just rose from.

With a smile she moved to the seat and as she passed him she blushed deeper. "Thank you Sir."

His leadership tattoos were obvious and he just shrugged and moved off to the side with a smirk. He went to stand by another leader that she recognized to be Max the Senior Leader. Max and he put their heads together and were talking and then Talia turned her head to see Logan walking to the stage himself and choose Dauntless proudly. Now all they needed was Clary and her family would be complete. They had done it and were going to be free. The past few years they had been secretly training Clary, Logan's longtime girlfriend, to be able to fight. They could never tell her what the two had been forced to be but Clary knew about the abuse from her father. It was the worst kept secret in Erudite. Unfortunately he wasn't taken down with all of the other leaders. She would have gladly given information to do that if it weren't for those she protected. With a sigh and a smile Clary finally joined them.

When it came time to go she did so with the same smile and laugh. She slid down the metal bannister and leaped down the stairwells a few times. Listening to those around her either joining her, cursing her daring or laughing and cheering her on. She noticed a few dauntless born were there beside her and her friends along with members as they broke free from the hub and made the traditional run and jump onto the train.

She was free! She had made her escape and she was going to live a life worth living.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: From here on out the perspectives will be first person and I will announce whose view we are seeing it from. Hope the story is enjoyable!**

 **Chapter 6**

 **Lia's POV**

"Take it off Stiff." I heard the Candor boy drawl, trying to sound less scared than I knew he was and Clary and Logan stiffened beside me. The Abnegation girl doesn't pay him any mind. In fact his words seem to spur her on judging by the straightness of her spine and the lift of her chin. I smiled at her back. A big enough smile to show my dimples and had my own spine straightening and radiating with pride for the girl.

Eric, the leader that was there to greet the initiates, scowls at me. I smirk and shrug at him. Candor starts taunting the abnegation transfer again and I roll my eyes and growl, roll my shoulders then start rocking back and forth on my feet. My body tenses as I prepare to fuck up his world. Logan puts his hand on my arm to hold me back and cautions me with his eyes.

"Save it Talia. I am sure you will face him in fights." He mutters. I start to say something back but Eric tilts his head and smirks at me, then while keeping his eyes on me yells at the girl preparing to jump.

"Today Initiate." He calls in a cold and mocking voice, taunting me and trying to fucking provoke me.

I quirk an eyebrow and don't realize I am muttering under my breath. "Fine, I will just fuck up both of their worlds." I crack my neck, not even bothering to lower my voice though I don't exactly yell it either. My eyes hold his and there is a flare of something in his own eyes, but it isn't something I really fucking care to try and figure out. I just know I am ready to take them both on.

Now Clary has her gentle hand on my arm. With a loud growl I break eye contact even though it is the last fucking thing I want to do. He wants to show he is Alpha male, fucking fine. I decide I will bide my time. "Fucking hell, please gods be kind to me and arrange for some kind of spar session where I can put the…."

Clary puts her hand over my mouth and hisses at me "Remember your game plan Tali." She warns me and I growl under my friend's hand. "I am going to move my hand and you are not going to finish that. You made me promise to help keep your temper in check so you don't reveal too much to early right?"

I sigh and nod my head then look back to Eric who has an almost shit eating grin on his face. "Why does he have to make this so fucking hard on me', I think.

I look down and clench my jaw and take deep calming breaths. I know they are going to ask for another jumper and I pull my honey blonde hair from its stupid damn bun and throw the fucking stupid glasses on the ground and stomp on them. I hear chuckling from around me as the sound of glass and plastic is being crushed. Eric doesn't even ask for another jumper he just locks eyes with me and motions to me with his head.

I had dressed for the transfer and let it be known just how much I would not be staying in Erudite. I had on such a deep blue it was almost black. Tight midnight blue pants, midnight blue tank, and black combat boots. Clary and Logan were all dressed the same and the only thing that was a light blue was an ice blue jacket that I rip off as I make my way up to the ledge. I tuck in the one thing I will be keeping from my old faction that Logan and I both checked to make sure we could keep. I have a chain necklace with five military dog tags with a series of numbers and initials. It is the only reminder of people I left behind or my time there I care to keep. The rest can all fucking burn for all I care.

I keep my face neutral while walking to the ledge. Out of the corner of my eye I see Eric glaring at some Dauntless-born closest to me and hear him growl, it sends shivers up my spine but I have no clue why. Eric moves closer, because of course he just has to invade my space. I just breathe in through my nose and get nothing but the cool air and then his scent, which is completely masculine and smells like steel, mint and warm woods. I suppress a shiver of pleasure that threatens to break free from me and prepare to get on the ledge.

I leap onto the ledge and I hear that Candor give a sound like the wind has been knocked out of him and I smile slightly. I am not vain nor do I even think I am a great beauty. But I do know that I must look pretty good up here on the ledge. My tight pants that are molded to the ass that I killed myself to achieve and with my curl honey hair blowing in the wind; I must be something to look at. Honestly though I don't give a shit if they look or not. Logan and I paid too high of a price to be able to do good here and make our escape.

Before Eric can ruin my moment I leap off and extend both arms out to my sides. I had always wanted to fly and this is as about as close as I had ever come.

I land in the net, already laughing and when the pretty Dauntless guy helps me out I am still laughing. "Please can I have some more Sir?" I call out in my best Oliver Twist impression.

He smirks slightly and then goes into a face that could only best described as 'resting bitch face' but apparently girls have nothing on Dauntless men with this face.

"What's your name Initiate?" He asks sternly.

"Talia, Sir." I can and do play nice when I need to. I do have respect for authority. But I must have had a tone because he shakes his head as if to say; 'I know you don't really mean the sir shit.'

"Second Jumper, Talia!" He calls as he holds my hand up in the air and I hear cheering around me.

I smile as I look over at the first jumper and something flashes in his eyes as he glances over to her too then how she looks to him. I must have gasped because he looks to me and his lips thin and he shakes his head. I get it and I won't say anything so I nod to let him know. He gives a brief relieved look before going back to the face that I am dubbing 'impassive-dauntless asshole face'.

Frowning I nod but then put the smile back on my face as I approach the petite girl with blonde hair and walk over to her. "Don't worry about the asses on the roof first jumper. I am sure you will love shoving it all in their damn faces as much as I will."

I see the pretty Dauntless tilt his head as if to ask what happened so I let him overhear this next bit. "Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing that stupid fucking slur of 'Stiff' can get to you. Matter of fact, don't let it get to you and remember that you were the one that stepped up when they were too chicken shit to do it." I smile at her and see the guy from the net stiffen but then nod slightly at me in approval.

The first jumper smiles at me and I get to see the fire in her eyes that I thought I saw in her posture before. "Tris, my name is Tris."

I grin but I don't put my hand out until she hesitates and then does it herself. I smile and shake the offered hand. "My name is Talia, nice to meet you Tris." We wait for the next jumper and Tris turns to look me over while they wait.

I have always been self-concious about my looks. I am far curvier than I wish I were but only because I have been honed into a weapon and I guess I think it should reflect that. First it was by my former faction and then by me. I have waist length curly blonde hair that is more like honey with a mix of golds and blondes. My eyes are this odd shade of amber/gold/hazel where they are more gold with bits of greens. My skin was the only thing I got from my father and it also is this golden tone. The overall effect is something soft and while I do have a kind heart and I love hard, I feel anything but soft. I am fairly tall compared to most girls I know. I am about 5'8 and my muscles are shaped to deadly perfection.

I am a believer in hiding my true self, my inner core that I never let my father or the others get to. So everything about my appearance I try to help that along. Clary said I have a dancer's body with the muscle tone but the graceful curves and lines. It hides my true strength and is deceiving. I wear bangs with my hair because I can never fully hide my forehead from giving away my emotions. I hardly wore makeup but Clary over the last two years taught me a few things and I ended up liking mascara because it causes my lashes to get thicker and hide my eyes that also have issues hiding my thoughts and emotions. I also admit I do like the soft eyeshadows and lipsticks she got me to start wearing as well. I can be girly I just haven't had much opportunity for it until the last three years or so.

I look Tris over as we talk about her old faction and mine. She is actually funny, intelligent and sarcastic. This would have all been scary at one time to find it in an Abnegation but not anymore. Divergents were old news even if they weren't exactly liked or openly announced. Tris would have for sure been on the watch list for Divergents. I should know, I was being trained to spot them even though I am one myself.

Tris has blonde hair too but it is bordering on softer brown and her eyes are a lighter blue. I can already see they can go just as hard or as fiery as mine can. She is slightly shorter than me at maybe 5'6 and is willowy in frame. Neither of us have baby fat but that would be because at 18, the age we all choose now, most of us have lost those last bits of it. Tris was still too skinny and lacking in any real muscle. She had soft lips and high cheekbones and reminded me of what the greco-roman women must have looked like. In my opinion she is a gorgeous girl. She has this 'I won't back from what is right' bearing. Her eyes were expressive and her lips looked like she loved to smile but hadn't had much opportunity to do that. She was going to catch some eyes here for sure.

As more and more people joined us she looked over at me curiously. "You didn't call me a stiff, when you walked up I mean. You called me first jumper and I think that was on purpose, wasn't it? I mean, I know you said about not showing that it bothered me but why did you choose not to say it. Everyone else does and they don't think twice about it. That nickname is used much more commonly than any other for the other factions. But I think for you, you hate it don't you?" Tris hadn't spoke in a whisper and I didn't reply in a whisper even though I knew there were several people around us listening, even a Leader and several Dauntless members. I did have Candor aptitude but I wasn't stupid when I used honesty and blurt out anything because I could. I just saw no reason to not be honest right now.

"Because I don't see a stiff. I see a girl not a fucking piece of wood or a damn erection. I also saw a girl that walked with her spine straight and her chin high and was the first to answer the call to jump into the unknown. I saw your fire when you went up there and it wasn't because you were doing it to be selfless. You wanted to go, needed to go even and if I am not mistaken you might be just about as big of an adrenaline junkie as I am. Regardless of all of that you aren't on Abnegation soil, you are on Dauntless. Any talk about us being other factions is just bullshit now. Those rules don't apply here and they shouldn't. I mean we gave that up when we cut ourselves, at the very least those 'nicknames'' I use air quotes and roll my eyes in disgust "should be given up too. I don't care if the instructors call me Initiate or some other nickname designed to push a button, hell I even expect it. They have to break us down to build us up into true Dauntless. I won't tolerate another initiate using those damn faction nicknames though. Also think about this, when shit goes down and we have to have each other's backs...are we really going to fucking care what faction the person beside us was from before initiation? In the end it all doesn't matter. We all bleed the same fucking way and I personally choose to see my fellow initiates as my brother's and sister's. Faction before blood means we become each other's family and I will always protect my family...to my very last fucking breath." I finish firmly and passionately because it is all that I believe. I have spilled blood for this and I will defend it just like I said. I hear whispers from Dauntless-born whispering about what we were talking about.

Tris smiled and her blue eyes twinkled in thought. "Yeah, I was hoping it wouldn't be like that here. I never fit in there from the beginning and I always had issues with the name myself. I had hoped when I transferred and especially with all of the changes they made to testing and being allowed to prepare that it wouldn't have that mentality. Hopefully it won't."

An Amity girl named Shandie from beside us had been listening and she smiled and nodded. "I had hoped it too. If I wanted to stay in a faction with that mentality I wouldn't have broken my parent's hearts to come here. Honestly that was the only part I didn't like about leaving."

I sigh and nod as if I understand, although I don't really. My father was abusive and the faction was horrible to me but I won't let them know that. "They had their time Shandie and Tris. All of our parent's got to choose and are living their lives. This is about us now and what we want and how we want to live. Don't feel guilty if they feel heartbroken because they shouldn't. They should be proud of you for following where your heart led you."

Tris nodded with a frown and then looked to me. "Thanks." She said simply and meaningfully.

I look at her at let my dimples show, my eyes softening. "If they can't still love you for wanting to be your true self Tris then that is their loss. I will also say, it will be my gain...like I said I will consider you my sister."

Tris surprises me by linking her arm with mine and squeezing it with a smile. "Me too." Her chin lifts and her spine straightens.

Shandie smiled and nodded then turned to her other Amity friend, they might have been related though.

Logan, Clary and the Candor girl Tris had been talking to on the roof named Chris came up to us then. Will, Edward and Mayra are all other Erudites that I knew though I had more in common with Edward than the others. We were all friendly sort of. Mayra and Edward though moved on to stand together. They had been together for forever and I think Mayra followed Edward here.

Clary comes up to me and hugs me. "I am so proud of you for not going and beating that shithead up on the roof oblivion. Or that Dauntless leader, I know it was hard to not let him provoke you."

I laugh and smile over at Clary with affection. She never lost that sweetness even when I had to be hard in getting her ready for here and I was glad of that. "Tell me how you really feel Clary?"

Logan and I smirk at Clary who blushes and Tris looks confused. I shrug still smiling but chuckle a little. "Clary has said a total of maybe five curses in her life. That one made number five."

We all chuckle and Clary tilts her chin up and her back stiffens in a gesture I recognize of defiance. "Well, maybe I should start darn it." She beams at her daring use of a curse word and I laugh hard, knowing it sounds much more musical than it has any right to. But I do love to laugh and have fun.

"You'll get there, nice effort though. Logan, Clary I would like you to meet our new best friend Tris. She is going to be working with us for extra training Logan." I say as I glance out of the side of my eyes at Tris, she looks shocked at first but then nods and smiles.

Logan lets out a little sigh and laugh while he smiles. "So we have another adopted sibling. My apologies Tris, she is worse than a slave driver that I have heard Dauntless instructors can be. She gives no quarter when she goes into training mode. Just be prepared, but she does it out of love so…" Logan elbows me and smiles at me like a true brother would. We aren't related but we did share a blood oath and we have known each other since we were five. He is my brother in all but blood.

Tris blushes and smiles boldly "I can handle it although I have no strength at all."

Logan and I shrug unconcerned with that. I reply first "It isn't all about strength, muscle yeah but we can build that out. But strength isn't all there is to being a good soldier."

Logan nods along with me "We can help you build muscle but your frame isn't going to pack on much anyways. What we can and will do is look for a fighting style that matches you. Take Clary for instance she isn't strong but she is wicked fast. I am strong but more controlled and I had to find a way to use that. Talia is a combination of fast, strong and brutal...she has control issues though sometimes with her temper." Logan smirks at me and I shrug with a laugh.

"What can I say, people should be less dumb. Then maybe I wouldn't feel like I want to rip out their hearts with my bare hands. Beides, I think I restrained myself fairly well on the roof." I wink cheekily and Logan laughs.

We both know I have iron control for the most part but I do have a temper. Telling people they can provoke me will get them to reveal their own weaknesses.

I look back over to Tris "You are going to have to change your eating habits though. Protein for all of us is going to be very important. After we get out for the day today you should come with us to the commissary and the infirmary."

A Dauntless-born and his two friends speak up. "Why do you need to go to those?"

I hadn't noticed that all the jumpers were at the end. I hold out my hand to the guy who spoke with a smile. "I am Talia, this is Tris, Logan, Clary, Chris and Will…."

He smiles a beautiful smile, shakes our hands and throws his arms around the two girls "Uriah or Uri, Marlene or Mar and Lynn…she doesn't like nicknames." He smiles at her and she plays with an eyebrow piercing and pretend scowls at him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 _A Dauntless-born and his two friends speak up. "Why do you need to go to those?"_

 _I hadn't noticed that all the jumpers were at the end. I hold out my hand to the guy who spoke with a smile. "I am Talia, this is Tris, Logan, Clary, Chris and Will…."_

 _He smiles a beautiful smile, shakes our hands and throws his arms around the two girls "Uriah or Uri, Marlene or Mar and Lynn, she doesn't like nicknames." He smiles at her and she plays with an eyebrow piercing and pretend scowls at him._

I smile at them. "Nice to meet you guys. To answer your questions though. The commissary we will go to get vitamins and protein supplements. We are going to be working hard and I plan on doing extra training as well. You guys are invited if you want to join, I am already going to be doing it with Tris here. The vitamins help in all kinds of ways but just making sure our bodies are in top performance. For the Clinic though it will be for health check-up but they can also check out nutritional and vitamin levels and make recommendations. Also though it will be important for them to have a file on us and any prior injuries or conditions. When fights come and we go in with something if they didn't have that listed prior it could cause complications. Like I have had fractures and breaks in almost every limb so if I get injured again in one of those spots and they don't know to check it then it could hurt me later on."

I see Logan tense at the mention of this and Clary puts her arm around his waist and squeezes.

Mar and Lynn nod but Lynn speaks up. "My sister Lauren works there when not training initiates. She is standing over there with Four and Eric." She points to where Four is standing tensely by Eric and a girl around their age with black hair in a bob cut that was talking with Four. I noticed Eric was paying close attention to our group but he wasn't smirking or sneering. His face was emotionless and almost evaluating.

Lynn continues "She can show us after lunch and make sure we get taken care of."

Everyone nods and Logan looks at me relieved. He had been worried about me refusing to be seen. "That would be great Lynn. Wouldn't want the staff to feel like we are trying to be bothersome." I smile at her and nod to Logan.

Tris bites her lip and nods in thought. "I will probably be bad off because of the lack of food we always had to go by."

Logan shakes his head and then tilts it. I can see he is figuring a time frame too. "If you take the vitamins and listen to what kinds of foods you will need, but follow it all, you will be caught up. It is easier to improve than go to the opposite direction."

Chris frowns as if she just ate something bad. "I'll pass. I would much rather shop or do something fun."

I shrug and frown thinking that she isn't going to make it long with that attitude. Training is hard and in the mountain areas around our city, the areas surrounding Seattle and the other smaller cities, it can be hell when they take us out on field exercises and survival training.

I was about to say this to her but Four, Eric and Lauren move like they are going to start addressing the group so I stand in a ready to receive order position. As does Logan and Clary.

"Alright listen up everyone. My name is Four…" he is interrupted by Chris who snorts loudly and I, as well as the rest of the group, turn to look at her like she is crazy. Me probably more than the others because I was once considered a fucking commander. How dare she show disrespect like that. My eyes turn hard and my body tenses.

She continues on. "Four as in like the number Four?" She laughs at her own apparent humor. Which no one else is finding funny at all.

Four starts walking towards Chris who is still laughing and I just want to snatch her fucking hair off of her damn head. "Exactly like the number." His voice is like deadly silk.

Chris snorts again. "Were one through three taken?" Four has finally stalked his way over to her.

A smart person would have picked up on the lethal way he moved or the body language he was using as he walked over. Considering fucking candors were supposed to be experts at that she should have taken a clue.

Four's smile is almost feral as he stops in front of her. "What's your name Initiate?"

Chris squeaked, finally catching on to how much she fucked up. "Chris"

"Well...Initiate. The first lesson you are going to want to commit to fucking memory is to watch your smart mouth. Unless we ask you to talk, don't fucking open it. Am I clear?" Four finished and he was centimeters from her face, his voice and eyes deadly.

I understood not using her name. It was a privilege to be addressed by name and one that had to be earned.

"Yes Sir." Chris gulped. She looked close to be pissing herself and from her body language she was regretting coming here at all. I bet she thought because of the drinking, dancing or parties they throw that it would be all fun and games. Never mind that not even three years ago a war in our city was just narrowly avoided and Dauntless were the ones on the front lines.

Four doesn't say another word as he turns to go back to the front. Internally I smirk because I found another look Dauntless do well. One that lets the person know they are less than shit on their boot and no one would miss them if that Dauntless chose to kill them right there. Scary shit all around but secretly I love it. We wouldn't be warriors if we were all cute and cuddly.

Chris looks around to us like she wants us to support her and glares at Tris and Will because apparently they aren't comforting her. I almost snap, my eyes go harder and my body tenses as I get ready to uncoil and go after her ass. Sometimes you just have to be taught the hard way.

I feel Lynn put her hand on my arm and she very subtly shakes her head at me. I hesitate but then give her a subtle nod and relax my stance and then smile at Lynn who grins back at me.

Four resumes his speech. "As I was saying my name is Four and I am Lead Instructor for your training. I also work in Intel and Control but during the months of training my time is focusing on turning out the best soldiers we can…" he sneers at Chris "with what we are given. Anyone that is training or working with you is to be treated as your superior and you will show them the proper respect they are due. If we have to teach you how to show respect I promise that you will not like it. For the first month Dauntless-born and Transfers are trained separately. The trainers for the Dauntless-born are Lauren and Hector." He gestures to Lauren and the Dauntless member Hector that had been standing by another Leader near my group earlier. "Transfers you will be trained by myself and Eric. Eric will also be in and out of both groups to check on the progress until the classes are combined at the second month. For now Dauntless-born you will go with Lauren and Hector to be shown to your dorms. You don't need the tour so when we reach The Pit, you will split off and go get settled."

Four paused to let that sink in and continued "Transfers you will stick with Eric and I; and will be given the tour. You will stick close and save questions for when we allow you to ask them. I would take the lesson from earlier that we do not tolerate smart mouths or back talk." Four finished speaking but kept his eyes on Christina and the other big candor named Al standing next to her. He gave a brief nod and then turned to walk out with Lauren beside him.

My group didn't get in the front, we were more in the middle. Lynn turned to me and smiled. "I will talk to my sister so we can let her know about the clinic. But we should meet after lunch and we can all get our shopping done and then head there all together."

I smiled back with my dimples showing and nod. "That sounds like a plan." I turn to my transfer friends to make sure they are ok with that though and they all nod.

I smile with a slight bounce in my step. "I am excited to get the gear for sure. I want to make sure I have enough workout clothes so that I don't have to worry about reusing them. I would be excited about getting knives and throwing stars but I know we can't keep those in the dorm. Do you know if there are laundry facilities where we can wash our dirty clothes regularly but also where we can iron and starch our uniforms? I am a bit of a neat freak and I really hate letting my workout clothes just hang out and stew."

Logan gives a snort of laughter and playfully pushes me. "She means she is a control freak. But we all work out hard and I have to agree I hate the thought of what our clothes just sitting around would make our dorm room smell like."

There are chuckles all around and not just from my group. Uri grins and nods. "Yeah they have a place you can do the laundry next door to the dorms. I am surprised you aren't all about getting clothes other than workout stuff Talia." Uri smirks at me but Logan and Clary burst into laughter.

"Are you kidding me? I will have to force her to get anything other than workout crud. She will wear what I get her...normally. It is a bit of an argument though. I will be glad for more girls to help me take that on. Before we came here she said we needed to have a 'come to jesus' meeting and that we were here to train not fuck around. Too bad for her she loves to dance just as much as she loves to fight. So I will win in the end." Clary looks over at me smugly and I roll my eyes at her.

"Well Lynn isn't as bad but her sister usually helps me out when she gets stubborn. We will be making sure they both have some damn hot clothes too. I am assuming from your face Tris that you agree with Talia. So you are now officially included and we will be picking clothes out for you too." Mar says with a smile.

I scowl and Clary and Mar turn these puppy dog eyes on me causing me to growl. "Fucking fine." I grumble causing everyone to snicker. Tris smiled shyly but nodded her agreement too.

The Dauntless-born break off when we reach The Pit but not before they point an area for us to wait for them after lunch. The tour started from there and showed us all our important areas for shopping, training, medical and then the offices.

As we walk along I go into focus mode and zone out. I don't really speak because I am committing all of it to my photographic memory. I feel like a machine at times, between my mind and how I have honed my body to be deadly.

I am a little in front of my friends when I hear Tris speak out and I can hear the frown in her voice. "Is Talia ok?"

"She is mapping the place out. She has pretty much photographic memory and perfect recall. So whenever she learns something new, especially somewhere new, she just zones out so she can commit it to memory. Trust me you want her to be able to do this. I cannot tell you how many times it saved our asses as we would go on our runs through the different sectors or go on hikes. If we were in sectors that groups of factionless were moving through she would just pull up the next fastest way and then we would keep going." Logan's voice is full of pride.

Tris frowned in thought looking to me. "I know what photographic memory is but isn't that really rare?"

Logan nods with a frown. "Yeah, and if that was all she had then I guess she wouldn't be too bothered about others knowing. But had she not done her absolute best to get on the nerves of every teacher she would have tested off the charts in IQ. Actually she did test off the charts, she just doesn't like it known or attention drawn to her."

Tris, Logan and Clary end up going into a discussion about learning for learning's sake but not using the knowledge and I hear them but I don't add to the conversation.

We finally make it to our dorm and it really isn't bad. There are more beds than there are people but we each get our own little area. We have a bed with a dresser that has four drawers and it has a taller section attached for hanging items with a hamper beside it for our dirty clothes. There are open shelves on the bottom of the tall section where boots and other items can be stacked but still put away and secured. There is a small desk with a lamp and a stack of books on it while on the other side of the bed is a small table with an alarm clock and a smaller stack of books that I recognize as Dauntless specific information like rules and regulations, history and Dauntless responsibilities, jobs, ranks and general information.

I led Tris to the back of the room near where the bathroom was. The dorm and bathroom was co-ed but the shower stalls were closed off at least as well as the toilets to allow for privacy. I had Tris take the bed in the corner and I took the one next to her. The next four beds were taken by Logan, Clary, Chris and Will in that order. Across the room on the other wall were the other transfers.

I learned that the Candor that had been taunting Tris was named Peter and he and two of his friends had known each other from birth. From what I gathered from Chris when she gleefully gossiped about them, he was a big dick and they were all something of bullies.

Peter seemed to purposely take the bed that was directly across from mine but I don't really care.

Four enters the room but I see Eric hanging back at the door with his arms crossed and looking directly at me.

"Everyone listen up." Four calls for attention. "On this table you will find your starting clothing. You will pick up 3 of each type and no more than 3. If it doesn't have your exact size, try and get as close to it as you can. You will be able to pick up more after lunch when you are given lists of equipment that is recommended and what is required. We do use the credits system here just like the other factions and any you had on your account prior to transfer, if you had any, will be moved over but you will be getting a new card that shows you are now Dauntless faction. You will all be given a certain allotment of credits per month, the first one is larger because you are having to gear up completely. You need to make sure you make those credits last you a month because they are used for everything Dauntless does not cover. Dining hall meals, initial gear, medical care...those are all covered. The rest like entertainment, tattoos, piercings and other essential supplies are not covered. As far as gear goes Dauntless will cover up to a certain amount and specific items. If you want to get additional gear that goes over that amount or is not qualified then at the time of purchase the shop clerk will let you know and you can choose to get it with your own credits or not."

Four has been looking over everyone to make sure it was all understood. "You will be expected to wear clean workout clothes everyday and be showered. I will give you the advice that you want to make sure you have enough to rotate out until you can get your laundry done. We will not clean your clothes for you, make your beds, clean the dorm or the bathroom. You will be expected to do all of this on your own. Beside this room are laundry facilities to wash and press your clothes and uniforms. The large closet beside the bathroom has all the towels, washcloths and linens for the beds. All of that the staff will clean and there are hampers you put that all in for it to be picked up. At the end of each bed you will notice a black metal locker that is where gear is stored and the key for it opens your dresser and hanging items as well. Currently there are a few supplies in the locker as well as a watch so I suggest you grab that before you leave to the dining hall to keep time. Once you have grabbed your clothes and changed you will take your old faction clothes with you and dump them in the bin outside the door to burn. This is not a request but an order. I see a few of you have black shoes or combat boots on and you may keep those. After you have changed and met us in the dining hall you will be dismissed for the day and you will have the rest of the evening and tomorrow to settle in."

There were smiles at that but I shared a look with Logan that plainly said I would still be training no matter what.

"If you couldn't be bothered to learn anything about your faction then you will want to start with the books on the bedside table. Those are the rules and regulations, faction history and a book with guides on what our duties to the city are as well as the types of jobs you could be placed in. You will be quizzed on this information in the coming weeks. Monday you will report to the training room I took you to earlier and you will be there at 8am. I suggest you wake up in time to eat because lunch won't be until 12pm and we end training at 6pm." Four glared at the three Candors that were on the opposite side of my group when Molly and Drew muttered at the word quiz.

With one last look Four asked if there were any questions. A few transfers did have some but he motioned us to proceed to get changed and answered those. Once he was done he gave a final nod and walked out.

Tris and I made our way over to the table and picked up our gear. We were all given 3 each of: long sleeved t-shirts, short sleeved v neck t-shirts, tanks, leggings and jeans. We were also given a pair of tennis shoes and boots. For the girls though we were all given three pairs of sports bras but boys and girls all got three of underwear and socks.

I found damn good matches for my clothes and the right sizes of shoes but Tris had trouble finding perfect matches. They would all be a bit baggy on her but we could get better later.

Once we got our clothes we went to get dressed. Tris was having issues changing especially since Peter started up with taunting her. I glared at him and stepped in front of her then began to change myself. I went with casual clothes but kept my own bra and panties on.

As I was changing I was challenging him to take the focus off of Tris and he did stop taunting her, it was just because he was staring at me in a very appreciative way without it being creepy.

I couldn't help but think he was pretty cute with his green eyes and soft brown hair. He must have recently lost that teenage boy look and started to develop muscle just like most of us.

He meets my eyes and stands there staring at me for a moment. He doesn't act cocky or arrogant right now but more like a guy just appreciating a girl. Not even in one of those creepy leering ways; he gives me a small lopsided smile and I smile back. The girl from Candor, Molly hit his arm and whatever passed between us stops as he looks at her pissed for a moment but then turns away from me.

I continue to change and notice Tris doing the same in a very defiant and bold manner. I wink at her and smile. "Rub it in their faces." I quietly say in a sing song voice and she chuckles.

I had chosen to go with the jeans, a grey tank and the black initiate leather jacket. I sat on my bed to lace up the boots and sighed when I was done. I smiled and closed my eyes, loving being out of those damn blue clothes. I still had a long way to go because of initiation but it felt like coming home finally.

I feel my bed dip and look beside me; Peter is sitting by me leaning on his knees and frowning. "Why do you have scars on your stomach, back and sides?" He whispers and I frown. I had honestly forgotten about those in all the excitement. He doesn't seem to be asking to taunt or make fun of me. More like he is pained seeing them on me and my stomach does a small flutter. I scowl at myself internally because I really don't have time for that kind of thing right now.

I picked up the book on the table beside me and he turns his head to look at me and uses his knee to bump mine. I play with the book and sigh "I don't know you enough yet Peter and I don't really like to talk about it."

Molly barks his name and he curses under his breath but looks at me for a bit longer with softness and interest. Then a mask slips over his face but instead of the emotionless one I try to wear his becomes a cruel mask.

He stands up and then sneers down at me "Yeah, well not like I fucking care anyways." Then he leers at Tris. "Sup Stiff, nice show."

He walks off and joins his friends, gathering his clothes and then follows them out but glances back at me again frowning with that softness in his eyes as he holds my own. Then he is gone from my sight and I can't help but frown.

"Jerk" Tris mutters and then holds her hand out to me, I take it and she helps me to stand up with a smile. We all had checked out the locker and grabbed our watches before we left and I noticed that besides Clary,Tris, Will, Logan and I everyone else is already gone.

Chris and her friend Al had waited for a bit but honestly I didn't care for either of them. In fact I already kind of hated both of them but Al more. He was already whining and moping and it grated on my nerves.

Even though my clothes were the darkest blue I still relished burning them. It felt like I was burning away my past. The group had walked off a bit as I stared into the flames with a gleeful smile. "Well fuckers, it was real. As in really horrible knowing you. I won't miss you one fucking bit." I sigh with a smile and then walk away to join my friends.

As I am walking away though I hear a sigh and then this deep chuckle from behind me. I couldn't see anyone though because whoever it was had put themselves in the dark shadows. Not really caring I shrug and jog to catch up to my friends.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this story. Lia is kind of a favorite of mine. If you were reading this story on my soon to be deleted other account then I will work to catch up the chapters to where I had them quickly and I will not be forgetting any of my stories, just consolidating them. As always thank you for the reads, reviews, favorites and follows. I really do enjoy it all and any feedback that I get.**

 **Disclaimer: "If you opponent is choleric temper, irritate him." (Sun Tzu - The Art of War) While Roth owns the universe in which I love to irritate him, I sadly can only play war games in my mind with Eric.**

 **Chapter 8**

 _Even though my clothes were the darkest blue I still relished burning them. It felt like I was burning away my past. The group had walked off a bit as I stared into the flames with a gleeful smile. "Well fuckers, it was real. As in really horrible knowing you. I won't miss you one fucking bit." I sigh with a smile and then walk away to join my friends._

 _As I am walking away though I hear a sigh and then this deep chuckle from behind me. I couldn't see anyone though because whoever it was had put themselves in the dark shadows. Not really caring I shrug and jog to catch up to my friends._

When we get to the dining hall I frown as I see how crowded it is. I had almost hoped to sit with our new Dauntless-born friends but that isn't happening with how packed their table is. We head to the transfer table and the only end that isn't packed is near Four. Tris takes the seat right beside Four while I take the spot opposite her. Logan sits next to me, then Mayra by him. Will takes the seat near Tris and smiles shyly at Chris and I want to snort hoping he knows he can do so much better. Either way I am glad I am far enough away from her, Al and the other candors. Edward and Mayra are sitting at the opposite end but wave at us.

When we got sat down I took in the food on the table, normally you go through the line but today was considered a celebration lunch so it was all out on the tables. I quickly made Tris a burger up and kept it simple with lettuce, tomato, cheese and a bit of ketchup. I also put sweet potato fries and cut up celery and carrots on it for her then hold it out to her.

Tris quirks her eyebrow so I just shrug with a small smile. "Remember I said you would need to change your eating to build up the muscle. Also no one needs to know you don't know what it is Tris. Just act like nothing is wrong and I am just being polite. I won't give you anything you can't handle spice wise."

Tris nods and takes the plate while Four watched it all with his cup held up to his lips and head tilted. He still had that 'impassive dauntless asshole' face going though no matter what he was trying to figure out.

I was just making my own plate up when Eric joined the table. He sat down and it seemed like he automatically scooted over until he was brushing up against me and I felt my back snap as if I was electrocuted. I scowled and tried to ignore him as he and Four exchanged some tense words about plans for monday.

"Well aren't you going to make introductions Four?" Eric says with a smirk and I swear he scoots closer.

Four sighs and then points to us as he names us. "Al, Will, Chris, Clary, Logan, Tris and Talia." He pointed to me last.

Eric smirks at me but then does his taunting eyes again. "Ooh, a Stiff. Well we will see how long you last." My nostrils go wide and instantly Logan reaches out and puts a hand on my arm.

"Here you go Tali, here are the jalapenos." Logan says in a warning voice but does pass me the bowl of them.

"Thank you" I say with gritted teeth.

Tris looks and me and gives a small shake of her head and lifts her chin with her back straight to let me know she isn't going to let it get to her. She hands me the onions and I smile at her proudly.

Eric doesn't move away like I think Four and everyone else expects him to. Instead he starts making his own plate and reaches across me to get the onions and jalapenos with a smirk as he brushes against me.

Four frowns at him with a quirked eyebrow and now I know he doesn't normally do this and is just trying to provoke me. The problem was that it wasn't provoking anger in me, instead my body was running riot from his nearness, touch and heat.

It literally felt like both of our bodies were increasing in heat each moment were remained beside each other.

There is a tension at the table with him there and Will, gods love him and his jovial nature, clears his throat and looks at me with a smile. "I think I will join you guys in going to get the protein and vitamins at the commissary and then to the infirmary to get my vitamin and nutrient levels tested. That was a good idea Talia and the infirmary staff knowing about old injuries will help during fights like you said."

I look over to him and smile with my dimples showing and finish putting jalapenos on my burger and grab a few sweet potato fries. "It is a good idea especially since we didn't get the best balance of foods in my old hell hole, though they like to think so. 'They who know all and please fucking bow before them' …they can do no wrong in their own opinion. Just ask them because they would of course know." I grumble while all of my friends laugh. Even Four and Eric's mouths twitch before they go back to the 'impassive dauntless asshole face'.

Will rolls his eyes at me but smiles at me fondly. "Still so fucking sarcastic Talia. You would have been at the top of the class had the teachers been able to stand you."

I give him a mischievous little smile and wink at him. "Hence the attitude, I didn't want or need their attention. I did fine on self-study and the research projects I wanted to do for my preparation here. Besides, it was really to their own benefit that I wasn't around. Kept them from walking around with broken bones or bruised asses."

Will laughs for a moment but then frowns at me and tilts his head. "You never said why you had all those injuries, breaks or fractures. I mean you said almost every limb had been broken Talia. What was all of that about?"

I sigh and slam my first down on my burger to flatten it but with more force than I intended to. Logan sighs and glares over at Will. "Shut it Will or I will shut it for you."

Will glares right back at him and squares his shoulders and I sigh and shake my head. "It's fine Logan, I did throw that out there."

I look at Will but I feel Eric tense and move closer. Tris' forehead furrows and I see Four move closer to her with his lips thinned but looking at me concerned.

I stall and cut my burger in half before I answer. "You want the pan answer that I had to memorize and recite or the truth?" It is a rhetorical question so I just shrug and continue. "How about I give you both. We can start with the pan answers to that question. Let's see there was; I fell down a lot, I was clumsy, I got into fights, I liked hurting myself, I fell down stairs, I must be into something really kinky….shit like that as I got older it got more ridiculous." I shrug and sigh knowing the looks are going to be of pity.

"Then there is the fact that my Dad was a raging alcoholic, abusive as hell and believed in rather unorthodox methods of behavioral modification. That is the truth." I look at Will's eyes and there is that pity. Eric's arm almost lays on top of mine but I ignore it and the massive heat surge that just hit me, though I do shiver and that makes me scowl too.

"Pity is not the look you should be flashing right now Will. I can and did take care of myself. Regardless it made me stronger if not a bit more brutal when I fight."

I put on my mischievous smile again and sigh "And now I get rewarded for that with some damn cake!" I snatch the piece he was reaching for with a laugh. My attempt to lighten the mood works as most chuckle and I take a bite of my burger.

I had turned my head to watch someone pass, when I did I saw Eric and Four sitting there with thinned lips and clenched fists. I couldn't tell much about Four but I could tell that he looked as if he was barely containing rage. "I have to report that you know."

I shake my head with a sigh. "It wouldn't do any good as the leaders mostly responsible are happily in jail. Either way there are bylaws that almost made it legal for them to do that or bypass prosecution. Regardless though it was reported several times and I was removed from the home and emancipated as much as they could, meaning I was sent to live on my own and take care of myself. I have been living on my own more or less since I was fourteen so you don't need to worry about it. I am sorry for all the drama and disrespect just then Sir. My mouth kind of gets away from me sometimes when it comes to that subject. I also don't really care for my former factions policies or how they tend to handle those things. No excuse for my mouth though and I won't let it happen again."

I hold his eyes and beg him to let it drop here. I know once I go to the clinic like I promised Logan I would, something might be said there. I just don't want it all out here at the damn lunch table.

Four nods curtly sensing my need to drop the subject. We all eat some more and I begin eating the cake while everyone talks about training. Eric goes to get up but before he does I swear he lets his hand brush against my leg.

Eric had moved to the balcony that overlooks the dining hall as the Senior Leader Max had made his way up there and I am left frowning at the space he was sitting because I feel like something significant is gone. His heat and warmth being gone is like suddenly some 7th sense is missing.

We are called to attention and the initiates asked to stand by Max. "Everyone listen up, today we welcome our newest blood into our folds. Initiates we welcome you! You have chosen to join the warrior faction of Dauntless. We believe in random of acts of courage and the drive that one man or woman has to stand up for what is right. You are training to become soldiers and protectors of our city. Respect that and do us proud!" He yelled and then everyone was joining in on cheering, clapping, whistling or stomping.

As all of this was going on I was having a reaction of my own. My breath hitched in my chest and I could feel my heart beating wild and frantic. I had only ever experienced this in the best of adrenaline rushes and I smiled as my breathing became a bit labored and my nostrils flared. My body was not reacting to the excitement and vibe in the room. What I was reacting to was Eric standing on the balcony and looking at me.

He had locked eyes with me and I saw pure undiluted lust in them. There was fire raging in those depths even though they were no less menacing and no less of his normal appearance of blue coated steel, but that made it all the more dangerous. He smirked at me and my smile. His nostrils flared and he licked his lips slightly as he looked me up and down slowly.

My hands clenched at my sides and I licked my lips as I took in his muscles working over his body and in his crossed forearms. As if he was holding every muscle in his body at bay from coming to me and tossing me onto the table and fucking me senseless. Gods help me I think I would have let him. I have never wanted anyone or been with anyone before. I have never felt desire or curiosity but at that moment I wanted it all and with him.

It was leaving me breathless and scared shitless too because of all that had passed with my mother and father. I am thankful when I am pulled into a hug by Clary and Logan and the eye contact is broken. Eric doesn't come back down to the table but another Leader does and comes to speak to Four before they both head off somewhere.

The rest of lunch is spent laughing eating cake and talking with my friends. When lunch is over Lauren comes over with a smile and hands out all of our cards with our names on them. We had been asked to sign paperwork just after we sat down with our prior names and what names we wanted to go by now. I was now officially Talia Masters and the credits I had from my last installment for my dependent care was added to my new allotment. I still planned to be conservative though and we all looked over the list and made plans accordingly.

Uri, Mar and Lynn were waiting right where they said they would be and we all headed out to the gear and clothing store. The first stop was to get regular clothing. The guys broke off to their side of the store but Mar and Clary instructed them to get good clothes for the clubs and whatnot as well.

Tris and I were flanked by Clary and Mar with even Lynn joining in with a laugh to corral us to the nicer clothes.

I crossed my arms and glared at them. "This is how this is going to work. If were are truly uncomfortable with the choices they go out of the pile. We will start with the everyday casual clothes and work on the dressier things from there. I will say this right now though, you WILL respect Tris and if she does not want to wear it you won't pester her. Am I understood?" I used my commander tone with hard eyes and no nonsense tone and all three responded.

"Yes Ma'am!" They all used the tone as if answering an instructor and it drew chuckles from the boys on the other side of the room and others around us.

Lynn looked at me with wide eyes. "Is that a glimpse of training mode Talia?"

I smirked at her and Clary blanched. "You have no damn idea Lynn. Just be warned she will demand extra training sessions from you and she can be as bad if not worse than the instructors here. Her favorite saying is 'failure is not an option; failure is death'. Logan and I are going to get it tattooed on us because honestly, she is a hard ass but I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for her."

She smiles over at me with love and I shrug "We don't have to go into that right now but I will have to tell Tris later. I couldn't let you fail here Clary, you are my sister too you know."

She nods and I sigh dejectedly looking around the store. "Well let's get this shit show on the road then."

The girls laugh and a store clerk, named Abby comes over to help us out. She is a sweet girl and talkative as shit but by the end of getting everything I am exhausted. She had helped me at first getting my sizes and favorite colors but then she started trying to help Tris and kept trying to put her in really revealing things. I took her off of Tris' back and let her advise me on a few lounge sweater dresses and let her pick out jewelry, some modest heels and even some makeup and nail polish.

I was tired and Tris looked exhausted too as we headed with the mounds of purchases to check out. Tris and I shared a laugh about that. I handed over my card to the guy checking us out and noticed Abby was folding things and putting them in what were my bags but I didn't buy them. I frown and look at Abby who has done a complete 180 and looks scared for some reason.

I smile at her "Um Abby, I think you might have this mixed up. I don't remember picking out any of this. I would hate to walk out with someone else's stuff."

She didn't answer and if anything got even more nervous looking as she looks over at the guy at the register who is her boss. He had been on the phone the whole time and had kept saying' yes sir', 'got it sir'..things like that. He had the phone to his ear and looked over at me and almost snapped at me. "It's all been taken care of and there is no mistake."

I can be deadly and hard when I need to be and when he snapped at me it triggered that. My voice went deadly soft as my eyes went gold fire. "Excuse me Sir, would you like to explain that a little bit more and maybe lose the attitude. I am just trying to do the right thing here. I don't want Abby being blamed because someone walked out with a bag of clothes that they didn't pay for. Or yourself for that matter since you are the one in charge of processing the purchases."

I saw Tris frown at the man and her body tense and I inwardly grinned at her defense of me.

"Yes Sir." The clerk says and then swallows and lowers the phone to his shoulder. He looks over to me and smiles tightly.

"I apologize and thank you for looking out for us." He smiles with sincerity. "There hasn't been a mistake though. These were purchased already and cannot be returned. But there is no mistake they were purchased for you." I take in both of their demeanors and I can tell if I push this it could cause them more issues. I don't want them in trouble so I sigh and let my eyes and voice go back to normal.

I smile and feel even more tiredness creep into my tone. "Well thank you for explaining. I don't understand why someone would buy these for me but that isn't on you two. If you would please just extend my thanks to whoever it was that made them and tell them I was very pleased with your service."

I chuckle at the looks of utter relief that come over both of their faces then take the bags that are doubled now that whoever had made the purchases for me added their things. I move to the side and wait for Tris and look over a few items that are near the top.

Whoever it was that bought everything had some very good and apparently expensive taste. One of the dresses was a formal looking long dress that was actually a top that stopped at the midsection and then a long skirt that would be form fitting and had a long slit going to mid-thigh. The top was a beautiful nude underlay material with a black lace pattern on top of it. The bottom was a simple black but was a beautiful complimenting material. There were also a few undergarments that were really just tasteful lingerie in burgundy, black, blood red and then a cream color.

I run my hands over the materials briefly and feel this spark of pleasure. I have never really had anything done for me before but it worries me because of motives. Why would someone do this?

I look up and Abby mouthed 'thank you' as she bagged everything up for Tris.

When she was done we met up with the other girls at the boy's side and laughed at Uri, Will and Logan's expressions as they were being forced to get several other items the girls had picked out. Apparently the three girls were now going to do their shopping too.

"Hey guys we are going to be right out by the balcony." I call as I motion with my eyes to Tris that we should make a break for it.

Once we are out on the balcony I sigh and lean against the railing and break into laughter.

"Thanks for keeping the shop girl off my back. I can't believe some of the things she wanted me to wear." Tris' eyes get wide as she thinks about all those skimpy skirts and I laugh.

"No problem, you just owe me a glass of whiskey or a beer. Gods I could so go for a glass of Bowmore or a damn beer right now." That leader from earlier is leaning against the railing with the instructor Hector and I laugh at their looks as they face me after I say that.

Tris frowns and looks over at me. "I have never had either of those, not like that is a surprise there. Are they any good?"

I shrug with a smile "I like them and I much prefer them to some of the fruity and sweet shit Clary drinks. Like I said my dad was a raging alcoholic but he was also a fucking stuck up dick of a snob and that went to his liquor too. I got an appreciation for the good stuff when I would swipe a few of his bottles. We went to dauntless parties and amity parties or raves and I was brought up to believe it was rude to go empty handed to anyone's house." I laughed a bit and Tris smiled.

"Not that there was a house or that I gave them to fucking anyone besides myself, Logan or Clary. Depending on the kind of whiskey, scotch, bourbon or beer you get will depend on how good it is. As far as scotch goes, I love Bowmore but it is kind of hard to find in just regular bars or the parties we went to. Has a really smooth taste to it. I always imagined it is the kind of drink you settle down in front of a fire with a book and sip on."

Tris smiles back and her head is tilted in thought. "Sounds like it isn't bad. I tried something called a martini once and I thought I had swallowed cotton or something."

I laugh out right and grimace at the memory. "I tried one before too and I fucking hated it for pretty much the same reason. I was kind of shocked because in the movies I watched about James Bond he was always fucking ordering one. It looks like it should be all refreshing but damned if it is anything but."

We talk a bit more about drinking and the past parties we had gone to and I realize that Tris is a bit more unconventional than even I thought. She said she didn't fit in at Abnegation and she is right. I can also tell that I am bonding with her as she has a lot of the same quirks as me.

The rest of the group finally comes out and we head off to get gear. Using the list plus additions we made of course, we made sure to get plenty of clothing and used what was on the table as our guide. The majority of all the workout clothes were covered except for the spare boots and tennis shoes I made everyone get.

Sparring pads, mouth guards, yoga equipment and everything bought outside of the list were purchased using the credits.

By that point I already felt like a packhorse because of the bags we all head out. Clary and Mar had insisted on stopping at one more shop that was like girly accessory heaven, but it ended up being good because I got us all to get sturdy leather overnight backpacks that had matching clutches and toiletry bags. The guys got just the backpack bags and toiletry bags but because I haggled the shop clerk down I felt accomplished.

The other girls made us get all kinds of other accessories like perfume, shoes, sexy underwear, makeup and some hair accessories.

Luckily the guys did help take some of the bags for us and we all went to our dorms to unpack it all and put everything away neatly.

When it was time to go to the clinic to get checked over I suggested we bring our bags because I knew we would have a lot from the commissary between our vitamins, supplements, and other essentials like shampoos and all of that.

While we were walking to the clinic Lynn linked her arms with Tris and I and smirked over at us. "We were going to go out after we get squared away and stop by the tattoo parlor. Do you guys want to go?"

Everyone but will agreed. He was going to try and find Chris to hang out.

When we got to the clinic we were greeted by Lauren and several nurses but also Four and Eric.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 _While we were walking to the clinic Lynn linked her arms with Tris and I and smirked over at us. "We were going to go out after we get squared away and stop by the tattoo parlor. Do you guys want to go?"_

 _Everyone but will agreed. He was going to try and find Chris to hang out._

 _When we got to the clinic we were greeted by Lauren and several nurses but also Four and Eric._

Lauren was looking at them with a frown but then turned back to us and explained what was going on.

"They liked the idea you had and are going to be sending all the other initiates in over the next few days per the orders of all Leaders. Since it was your idea though, you guys go first. Talia, Logan and Clary they want you to go first."

We all nod but she looks over to me worried "Talia I am going in with Clary. I am sorry there aren't any other girl instructors or leaders to go with you."

I shrugged not really worried since after what I had revealed at the table I knew something like this would happen. "It's fine, not like I have anything to worry about and I don't have anything to hide. I trust my leaders and instructors too so isn't a problem."

Just by Eric's glare and Four's smirk I guess who would be going with me and I felt conflicted. On one hand I had liked him being close. On the other hand though I hated not being able to control my body when he was around and that went against my whole hiding my nature and emotions thing that I strived but mostly failed for.

A pretty blonde nurse with a pixie haircut named Shonda took me into a room with Four following close behind me. Eric had almost stepped in front of me and I saw his muscles working again as if to restrain himself.

When we go in Shonda began with drawing blood, testing reflexes, eyes, hearing, vision and several routine items. We talked about my nutrition and exercise but then she did the scan and when that came up she made me go into another room for a deeper scan.

As we walked by I saw Eric and he was glaring as we walked away from the deeper scanner as if he wanted to know what was going on right then.

I had to describe the abuse and in detail. Four and Shonda were livid when they saw the extent of the injuries and I knew there were things I had to leave out. The experiments were not things that they needed to know about and I didn't really want to talk about them.

The file was getting larger but finally Shonda had the final question on the abuse. "Was there any sexual abuse?" She asked softly with her eyes closed as if she dreaded the answer.

I shook my head and was secretly thankful they hadn't gone that far. "No he never went there with me and then when I started to develop when I was ten, I was temporarily allowed to start staying with other families. Logan's family took me in but I was still forced to have visits either in headquarters or sometimes for dinners. When I was 14 they finally emancipated me as much as they could and I was allowed to live somewhere else. He still accosted me in the headquarters and a few times at school. The last time a year ago when he stabbed me and I bleed out but I was able to put him out of commission so it stopped the attack and it was the last time they made me go see him."

She looked relieved about there being no sexual abuse but still very upset about the fact that he had still been able to continue his attacks before there was any help provided to me.

She finished out those questions and moved on. "Are you sexually active?"

I blushed as I shrugged then thought of Eric and shook my head. "No. I have never had intercourse or oral sex before. I was on a birth control just because it helped regulate me and because it was pragmatic to just go ahead and be on one."

Shonda smiled at me when I said pragmatic and I smirked at her. I had already figured out that she was a former Erudite.

"That's fine. I will set up a shot for you that will help with the hormone levels again. You won't have to get another one for six months."

Shonda sighed and looked over the chart, her forehead furrowed. "Well I am going to recommend we administer a blanket Nano-serum to resolve any hairline fractures that remain. I will consult with the on call doctor in the Med Center to confirm that but I am sure we will go with nanites in some way. It will help with the muscle repair around the internal scarring and will just strengthen everything bone wise. Talia, we might have to have injections and several sets of them, but we will see what they say."

"Your iron levels need some serious help so shots every few months for that will be needed and we are going to put you on a prescribed iron pill and calcium supplement for now. You will have to come in once a week to get all your levels tested and we can go from there each week. I am just going to go get everything together."

I nodded to her as Shonda rolled over to put my file on the desk on the opposite wall then got up to get everything set up and to contact Erudite for what they needed to do.

Four walked closer after Shonda left and ran a hand through his hair. He leaned against the bed but was still giving me my space. He looked like he was about to start speaking but the door opened. I looked up, almost expecting Shonda but it was Eric storming in with his jaw clenched.

He looked over at Four standing near me and almost looked murderous. "What the fuck is taking so long?" He growled.

Four stiffened and his own jaw clenched along with his fists. "She just got fucking done Eric and Shonda is going to get her shots and other medicines ready."

Eric walked closer to me and I already felt the warmth coming from him. His eyes passed over me like he was confirming for himself that I was ok. "Well I am here now. So get the fuck out and go deal with her friends. They are pestering the shit out of me about it taking so long."

Four shook his head with a glare at Eric. "I got this, go back out there with them yourself."

Eric quirked an eyebrow and huffed "You forget who has authority here. That wasn't a request _Four_ "

Eric had snarled that last part and let me know that Four was a name he found ridiculous and it wasn't his real name. Considering we are allowed to change our name I didn't find it a big deal.

They stared at each other before Four looked over to me with worry and I smiled at him then let him know with my eyes it would be ok. With a final glare at Eric he nodded to me and his forehead crinkled. "I'll be right outside the door waiting with the others. Yell if you need me."

Four slammed the door when he left and Eric looked back at it smirking. He glanced at me one more time as if he just needed to know I wouldn't disappear then looked for something and saw the file on the desk Shonda put it on. He glared at it and then stalked over and plopped down before he started going through it.

I saw his muscles in his shoulders tense the moment he turned the first page. The tension and anger I felt coming from him was palpable and with every page it got worse. He had propped an arm up on the table and was using one hand to pull at the short hair at the top and sides of his head as he read the file, scowling.

I didn't want to think about what he was thinking as he read over everything or that I might see pity in his eyes when he turned around. Possibly even look at me like I was broken and damaged. So I looked over him and soaked his presence in.

Eric was ridiculously hot and was extremely well built even for a Dauntless. I could almost imagine that he would spend every spare second working out or training. He had changed his hair from the last time I saw him when the leaders were brought down. It had been shaved on the sides and long and styled down the middle. His hair was still dark blonde with just a slight curl to it. He now had the sides grown out slightly and the top was cut shorter. But he styled the top of the short hair and it still managed to look a bit tousled and sexy as hell. He had black gauges in his ears and two dermal piercings above his eye. I had to smile because I planned on getting dermals just not above my eye.

His leadership tattoos trailed down his jaw into his black t-shirt and it made me wonder what other tattoos he had besides those and the maze and symbol tatts on his forearms. His entire body oozed a confidence, power and danger that was both frightening and mouthwatering. I found myself trying to imagine what he would look like under that damn sleeveless black vest and tight black v neck t-shirt. Not to mention those pants and the thighs that I bet rippled when he moved.

I frowned when my thought went that way because this was all so fucking foreign to me. I don't think of men like that or at all.

The stool creaked and I snapped my eyes to the door but I knew he caught me looking. He didn't say anything and I was thankful as fuck for that. We already had some strange attraction going on and we didn't need to add any more fuel to that fire. By my openly just showing how much I wanted him right then it would be just pouring gasoline on the fire inside us when we needed water.

Shonda came in and frowned over at Eric as he read my file. I could tell she was worried about if I was comfortable with it so I smiled and nodded slightly.

She gave a small nod and sighed with the tray and bottles she had for me.

"Alright Talia, here is the birth control we talked about. I was able to pull the hormonal adjustment dosage you were on before so it won't be any new adjustment for you. Since you haven't had intercourse before of any kind we don't need to test for any STD's. But if you do have sex remember you will need to still protect against those."

I swallowed and blushed but nodded then prayed Eric was too absorbed in the file to catch that. One look at him though and I knew he had caught it all. At first he looked surprised but that quickly changed to him being extremely fucking pleased if you went by the biggest damn grin on his face.

Apparently he didn't smile often judging by Shonda shuddering. With me it just added fuel and sent shivers of delight through me.

Shonda was thankfully unaware of either of our reactions or the sexual tension as she moved my hair to give me the injection. "It's going to hurt a bit"

After that I scoffed with a smile. "That didn't hurt Shonda."

She gave a shake of her head and a chuckle as she started with the other injections. "This is for your iron levels, any leftover anemia you had for that last major blood loss and head wound will be rectified. I know you said you started to make yourself iron rich foods like rare beef and then liver." Shonda shuddered at that causing me to smile and chuckle. "The beef is fine and the kitchen will handle that for you when you go into the line, but we don't really have liver here…thank gods" She muttered the last part and I grinned.

"It grows on you. As long as you put lots of onions, gravy and ketchup on it." I shrug with a smile still on my lips. "That's fine when I get housing I can make my own again."

My eyes meet Eric's, he is smiling and almost laughing along with me. I am getting this feeling I am seeing sides of Eric that aren't shown much. I had already seen one side of him when he took Jeanine and the others down. Maybe that was why I was feeling part of the way I did. I frowned at that thought and promised I would digest all of this later.

Shonda gives me a few more shots and one in the arm for b-12.

When Shonda picks up the last two needles she frowns. "Talia...I am sorry. We have to go into the bone and this will be the first of shots. We will do a scan at the end of the week and go from there but hopefully this will help."

I had already stood with a sigh and took off my tank top. She looked at my pants and I nodded as I slipped my boots off then my pants. I saw her lips thin in anger at the burns along my thighs and abdomen along with the what seemed like millions of other little scars that covered my body.

"Back or front first?" I ask softly and Shonda looks me over.

"Your abdomen is worse, so we will do back first." She says with an apology in her voice and eyes.

I swallow and nod then hop up onto the bed. I hear the stool creak and Eric starts coming closer to me. I don't see pity though. I see pride and admiration along with a command in his eyes. He doesn't want me to show it hurts. I feel my heart stutter at that.

He helps me to turn over, his hands gentle but the touch electrifying. His hands are rough and calloused and just feel right. I feel bursts of electricity as he brushes my hair from my back and neck to move it out of the way.

I expected him to move away but instead he puts his hand over my wrist where it lays next to my face and starts to trace slow soothing circles on the skin. It is almost feather light and it only adds to the desire I am feeling for him.

"I'm sorry, the needle for this is really long and it has to go into the bone Talia." Shonda says quietly and worried about the pain she is about to inflict.

I give a small smile and let humor fill my voice. "It isn't the size of the needle Shonda…"

They both chuckle but Eric's hand squeezes mine just as I tense and Shonda starts the injections. She has to inject along the scalp, neck, spine, back, hips, knees, legs and feet. I feel like I am going to bite through my lip I am clamping down so hard, but I don't make a sound. I have to lay there for a few minutes before I need to flip over.

Eric again helps me to turn over and holds my eyes with his as Shonda starts again. She was right, it is much worse in the front. I start biting my lip again but Eric uses his thumb and finger to stop me. He keeps his thumb there though as he lightly strokes my lower lip.

Our eyes never waver and I see something changing for both of us. The desire is there but now there is something else. Something I can't begin to fathom.

"You're doing good Lia." His voice is gruff and full of desire and pride.

My stomach flips and I know my eyes flash with pleasure at the nickname he has given me. I also know I will never allow anyone else to call me that either. I smile at him, my secret smile that only Logan has ever seen, with the one dimple in the right corner of my mouth showing. Eric's breath hitches and one hand moves to tangle in my hair. His breathing and heart beat becomes in sync with mine…or mine his.

As one hand moved to my hair, the hand that was stroking my lower lip stills. His thumb still on my lips and I press a soft kiss to the pad of his thumb. He smiles at me tenderly as his eyes close and he lets out the barest whisper of sigh. When his eyes open again they are blue and he strokes my cheek before stroking my lip again.

It was as if the world stopped and it was just us for those minutes. I felt no pain during that last part. I was consumed with Eric.

The world starts spinning again as Shonda finally finishes and Eric gives my lips one last tender stroke before he pushes away, grabs my file and storms out.

Shonda doesn't say anything about what happened between Eric and I but I can tell she is worried. She gives me a few mild pain injections and helps me dress before giving me my vitamin prescription and breakdowns as well as the pills she wants me to take for iron. Between the pain, the pain medication and my encounter with Eric I feel almost in a daze.

The scars in some of the areas are much lighter and that is something that makes me feel a bit better.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 _It was as if the world stopped and it was just us for those minutes. I felt no pain during that last part. I was consumed with Eric._

 _The world starts spinning again as Shonda finally finishes and Eric gives my lips one last tender stroke before he pushes away, grabs my file and storms out._

 _Shonda doesn't say anything about what happened between Eric and I but I can tell she is worried. She gives me a few mild pain injections and helps me dress before giving me my vitamin prescription and breakdowns as well as the pills she wants me to take for iron. Between the pain, the pain medication and my encounter with Eric I feel almost in a daze._

"What took so long?" Uri asks softly frowning with worry.

"I had to get injections of Nano-serum at some spots where I had breaks and scarring. It took a while but I already feel much better. Sorry it worried you all." Lynn has my arm linked with hers as we walk.

"We are just glad you are ok. At first we thought Eric was going to kill us he looked at us so angrily and then started ranting about 'number boy's' and stormed into the room. None of us had even talked to him or approached him to ask anything but he glared at us like we wouldn't shut up. Then when he came out of the room he looked like he was about to go murder someone for real. I think Four had to stop him from doing just that and they sounded like they were agreeing on something; which has never happened." Uri frowns.

I am secretly pleased he seems to care but I just shrug and change the subject "So we head commissary then we go get ready to go out right?"

The girls start smiling and chattering about dancing, even Tris looks excited. Mar and Lynn decide to join us in our dorm to get ready after they grab their clothes and beauty things. Uri and Logan decide that after we all go to the commissary and parlor they are going to grab us food to bring back to us in the dorm to eat since we aren't going to dinner.

After I grabbed everything I needed from the commissary, including some wonderful citrus body wash and a neutral smelling hair shampoo and conditioner, we head back to the dorm. Tris had taken my cues and picked up almost exactly everything I did, but she picked up a nice vanilla and oatmeal smelling body wash. We both had piled up on shoe polish, towels for our hair, razors, hair removal crème, hair bands, face wash, lotions, moisturizer, med kits, anti-inflammatory pills as well as rub, snap ice packs, snap heating packs and toothpaste with toothbrushes. I had also grabbed a few suture kits for in case. Mouthwash and floss we grabbed but decided we could share between all four of us.

I made us all get lots of ready made protein shakes but also the powder, the shaker bottles and the bars. Tris and I bought together to share.

I also picked up pens, paper, pencils, highlighters and several sketchpads with colored pencils so that I could draw. I wanted to get a few tattoo design ideas I had down at some point.

Once everything was in our bags we headed to the last stop, the tattoo and piercing parlor.

We met George and Tori and talked about several designs I had in mind and I did find one I liked that I made plans to come back to get. I asked for a few changes though and George worked on that but I set the appointments with Tori.

I ended up getting a few piercings. I got 6mm gauges with mechanical gear parts in the patterns in the plugs that were small enough to go beside my regular ear piercings, a blood stone nose piercing, a silver ball in my tongue and five bloodstone piercings down my spine starting at the start of my neck.

Tris looked at a few designs for tattoos and liked ravens. I had an idea for something that she agreed with so I was going to draw that for her and she would come back to get it.

She got a few piercings too. First she got a dermal that looked like a pre-war birthmark on an actress named Marilyn Monroe. It was a gunmetal black. She got regular ear piercings, two helix piercings and a sapphire stud in her nose.

Mar and Lynn were beaming at us now that we had piercings as well, they left quickly to go get their clothes and Tris and I unpacked all the new stuff and got the clothes we would be wearing out.

When I was looked over the clothes I saw one of the tops that were bought for me was a blood red halter top that was almost backless and I knew I had to wear it. I still kept my jeans on and since I didn't need a shower I just changed shirts. I did put on the knee high blood red boots I had picked up to complete the outfit. I found a pair of fang looking earrings with bloodstones in them so I put those in. That was another purchase the mystery person had made. Apparently they had learned of my favorite color being blood red and that I loved blood stones. Once I was dressed I started working with Tris to help her pick something out.

She decided to keep on her jeans and boots and put on a sapphire sleeveless crop top, silver dangle earrings and put her hair up in a half up half down style.

Logan and Uri came back with dinners for all of us as Mar and Lynn joined us to get ready. We ate and joked as Clary went through and painted all of our nails. I had just chosen black shiny nail polish.

"Are you two going to drink?" Lynn asked as she was helping Tris with learning how to do her eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara. Tris had asked her to show her how to do the winged look and it was more difficult than she thought it would be at first. She was finally getting the hang of it though and was happy with the one eye she had just completed judging by her smile.

I was blowing on my nails to help them dry faster, even though they didn't take long, and I smiled with a nod. "Oh yeah. Although I won't be getting fall down drunk. We're all training tomorrow remember that guys. But I like to drink and get a nice buzz then dance. It just makes me feel a bit freer and it's like the music courses through my body."

Mar frowns "Did they have parties in Erudite?"

I laugh shaking my head, my eyebrow quirked. "Not at all or at least not any that would be considered fun. No Logan, Clary and I would crash a few Amity ones and even a few Dauntless ones that they held in some of the abandoned buildings or in the Amity Pavilion of their sector."

Tris smiles at me. "Those must have been fun. Although Amity seems like the music would be completely different. You know, being about all happiness and love."

We all laugh and I smile "You would think that right? Don't get me wrong they had a good deal that was like that. But they had good amounts that were rock music too."

I had just completed my makeup when Uri and Logan came back but with Uri's older brother named Zeke. They are for sure brothers with those smiles and his sense of humor is wonderful. Lauren also came in and checked on me saying that Shonda and her had now adopted me. They were going to be going to the club as well along with Zeke's fiancé Shauna. Lauren and Shauna worked on everyone's hair to curl it but mine is already so they didn't have to worry about that.

Something that surprised everyone was when Four came in and said he would be going too. He quickly left afterwards, but not before smiling at Tris and looking at her in a very appreciative way. I smiled when I saw him and Tris share a look before he had gone. I still needed to talk to Tris about that but I would do it later when we had more time.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth after eating and to touch up my makeup when Peter came in. He wasn't with his friends and it seemed he was only really a dick when they were near. He stood close and leaned against the sink watching me.

"You look beautiful Talia." He said as he blushed while looking at me.

"Thank you Peter" I say with a smile and my dimples showing my pleasure at his compliment. I saw his arm and it appeared he had already gotten a tattoo around his forearm. I moved closer and took his arm, gently turning it over to look. It was a band of strong and thick lines with symbols in the bands. "That looks really good. Does it mean anything?" I asked as I traced the symbols.

He cleared his throat and I looked into his eyes and saw they were a darker green and his breathing was a bit rough "They're ancient Egyptian and stand for the sun, strength and rebirth."

I smile but I don't let go as he moved his hand to cover mine "You found the light coming here and will be strong. I guess this is all of our rebirths as well now that I think about it." I whisper and he nods but frowns.

"Molly and Drew couldn't get that. They said I should just get the dauntless symbol or the flames." He smiled his lopsided smile and his thumb moved over my hand that was still holding his arm.

I wrinkle my nose and shrug. "They don't strike me as super bright but there is nothing wrong with the Dauntless symbol or flames. I will get one of those eventually."

He continued to lightly stroke his thumb on my hand his eyes holding mine. "Where are you guys going?"

I smiled with a shrug. "To one of the clubs to dance. You should come."

He looked down furrowing his forehead. "Probably wouldn't be a good idea. I don't think your friends like me much and mine would just start something."

I frowned and felt disappointed but nodded. "Ok, well if you change your mind." I go to move away and he stops me.

"Be careful please?" He whispered close to me smiling. For a moment he seemed as if he was on the verge of kissing me and my breathing slowed because it seemed wrong and another face came to my mind.

I nodded to him and smiled, then he let go and slammed into a stall when someone called my name coming towards me. I frowned at his back and shook my head. Fucking confusing ass bipolar men. And they say women are hard to understand.

I met my friends out in the dorm noticing Molly and Drew sitting on Peter's bed talking low and scowling at everyone. I rolled my eyes and slipped my credits card into my jean pocket along with my locker and dresser key after I slipped on the black and grey leather jacket that was another addition purchase in my bags.

It seems everyone is in The Pit congregating in groups. We pass Eric and his friends. Hector and the leader that I learned is named Connor are by him. When we pass, Eric catches my eye and looks me up and down appreciatively with a slight smirk before he turns to reply to something one if his friends says.

It turns out our two groups know each other so intermingle as we stand in a big group now. Zeke had run off really quickly and came back with a bunch of plastic shot glasses and a bottle of something. He began to pass the poured shots around to everyone in the two groups.

"To our baby initiates! Here is your first of what will be many Dauntless nights! Now let's take these shots and go get you all drunk and dance!" Zeke says standing on a rock and holding out his glass in toast.

"Here here!" I yell and we all laugh then I take my shot. Tris and Clary are left gasping and I laughingly gently pat their backs. As I am doing this I see Peter and his friends.

It looks like Peter is making his way over before Molly grabs him and drags him away from our group scowling and bitching. I frown as I watch them go. Peter turns to look back and me then smiles and winks. I shake my head to clear it and I see Zeke beaming at me.

"A girl who can handle her liquor! How about another?" He practically yells at me. He fills up my glass before I can even say anything. I shrug and toss it back but when he acts like he is going to fill it back up again I stop him and shake my head.

"It's all about stamina and pacing yourself Zeke." I say with a cheeky wink. "I would rather run the marathon than a sprint any day." I shout as he keeps trying to pour me a shot. Shauna shoves him playfully away and there is laughter from the large group now.

Logan smirks at me and playfully elbows me before Clary pulls him close to whisper something that makes him turn red.

"She doesn't want any more of your icky whiskey Zeke. We can get her a real woman's drinks at the bar." Lauren laughs next to me with Hector's arm around her waist and Eric standing close smirking at me.

I groan and shake my head and throw up and mock pleading gesture with my hands. "Please gods no fruity shit or Tequila. I can't stand overly sweet drinks and well…I would rather leave at least one Dauntless, Amity party or rave wearing all of my clothes."

Eric frowns and I see Hector burst out laughing at Eric's face. But then Zeke distracts me when he spits out his shot.

Zeke wipes his mouth. "What the shit? Wait…one…when have you been to our parties and two…..how can we get you out of those clothes again?"

Clary yells shaking her head. "No tequila for her. She either ends up wanting to go streaking, skinny dipping or fight…all while just in a bra and panties. Trying to wrestle her in that condition is not as fun as it sounds or as pleasurable as I thought it would be." She pouts and Logan laughs nudging her.

"Speak for yourself. It was funny as shit to watch." Logan winks at me playfully and I turn red.

"You were an asshole for continuing to buy me the shots knowing what tequila does to me." I grin despite my words.

"Do I detect a bit of girl on girl action?" Shauna asks with a smirk.

The guys, except for Eric who starts muttering under his breath, all look very interested and very uncomfortable under the collar.

"The one thing I have to hand to Erudite is the openness to experiment first hand. Clary gets very interested in experimenting with me when she is drunk." I start turning red as I blush and laugh at the same time.

Lynn looks over and me and licks her lips causing my blush to deepen. "I can't say I blame her at all. How can I get in on that?"

Tris' jaw drops and I know I am beet red now. "The problem is I don't get drunk enough to want to experiment myself, like at all Lynn. Although her kisses were pretty nice I guess." I shrug at the end and Clary smiles widely. I roll my eyes cause now I have just encouraged her ass.

Logan glares at me jokingly and pulls Clary to him. I break out in laughter and point to Clary but am still red. "Hey, I am the one that needs protecting from her. She is always trying to ram her tongue down my throat when we are dancing together. Talk to your girl Logan, not me."

Everyone laughs and Lynn links her arm with mine and winks. "I will just have to pretend I am super drunk and then attack you too."

She gives a wicked grin when I flush even more red and we all make our way to the club. I feel Eric close behind us as we enter and I wonder if he will dance with me. I wonder if I can handle him dancing with me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The club is pretty much what I thought it would be, loud music blaring in a huge cavern type area that had a couple of bars with several areas to lean against tables. There were couch lounging areas all around the room. Low lit neon lights were on the walls of the room but from the ceiling there were flashing lights and strobes.

The group had started at the bar and while they were waiting for drinks or their order to be taken, Tris and I took in the sight of everyone dancing. After a few drinks all of the friends, besides the two of us, took off to different areas. I looked to Tris and smiled at her wide eyes.

I had to lean closer to Tris but still had to shout a bit "Are you going to be ok with dancing?"

Tris looked at me, smiling and nodding "I think I will be, you were right about the drinks making you feel more at ease with dancing. I feel like every cell is alive right now. Is it normal to feel the music like pulsing through you, even my blood?"

I grin and nod eagerly "Oh Yeah" I drawl out silkily "Very normal, and amazing and addicting!" I throw my head back and arms wide as I spoke. We giggle after my little show of dramatics.

"You know something that I found, is that dancing is a lot like fighting, I mean rhythm wise but then also just the animalistic and primal level too. That may be why I like both so much. I have always been a bit more linked to those sides of myself. I mean the pain after getting hit sucks but if it didn't hurt you wouldn't be alive right. Honestly, and this may be fucked up, but I don't mind the pain all that much. If I got hit then I learn a lesson from it and I make damn sure I don't do it again. It is almost like a measure for me of where I am at." I shrug and smile at Tris.

Tris bites her lip in thought and then nods with a smile. I am distracted when I see Four come in but then the bartender comes to get our drink orders. Four looks over to Tris and even from my place I can tell his breath hitches in his chest at the sight of my friend. He is approached by Connor so can't make his way over like I know he wants to.

I order us both a couple of semi-sweet shots of alcohol that has gold flecks in it. Tris holds one up to the light and frowns looking at it. "Is that..." she trails off and sniffs the liquid.

I tilt my head with a big smile. "Real gold flakes, yeah don't worry they don't hurt you. We already have a natural amount of metals in our bodies. Besides we just got metal forced into our body with the piercings. But this liquor is a good one because it won't make you too drunk and it tastes pretty damn good."

Tris nods and we clink our glasses together and toss the first one back. I slam the empty shot glass down on the bar then pick up the next one and toss it back right after the first. Tris is still gasping after the first one.

"It still fucking burns" She yells and I laugh at her cursing and wipe away a little of the shot that is at the corner of my mouth then lick my finger.

"Yeah I didn't consider that my tongue piercing was going to fucking sting after alcohol." I nod and put the last glass down.

I fan myself now that the liquor is hitting me so I suggest we take our jackets off. The bartender takes them and puts them behind the bar for us. Tris smiles gratefully after doing the same thing. I close my eyes and sigh in pleasure as I lift my hair off the back of my neck, piling it on top of my head holding it there for a moment. It is cooler now that I am free of the jacket. The shots were already making me feel a bit warm. I release my hair and let it fall in curly waves down my back again.

I hear a good song and my eyes light up in delight as I take her hand and pull her out to the dance floor. She watches me for a bit as I start moving and jumping to the slight techno beat. Every once in a while I whip my hair around or hold my hair up off my neck and pile it on top of my head holding it there as I move my hips to the beat then release it and let it fall back around my shoulders and back like a curtain and we look up at each other and smile. I let my hands go up into the air then to follow along my body as I sway to the beat with my head back and eyes closed. I know I have a smile of pleasure as the music seems to throb through my body and it moves on its own.

One song turns into another and I sort of lose track of myself and her. My hips move in circles when the music turns a little sultrier and I give pops of my hips in time with the beat. When there are interludes that have a belly dancing type beat I rotate my hips and move my belly in the manner that gypsy's had of dancing. At one point Tris presses close to me and we move in sync as I take my hands and help to guide her waist and body in the same movements and she even leaned back into me wrapping her arms around my neck as my chest is pressed to her back. She occasionally turns and wraps her arms around my waist and surprisingly almost grinds against me. It doesn't bother me because I know it isn't sexual but just her getting into the music and letting her body do what it wants.

The music starts to slow and I stop and look around me smiling and panting a bit as my chest heaves. Tris had stopped dancing and is looking at me biting her lower lip. Then she practically lunges at me and pulls me to her before I know what is happening. She grabbed my face in her hands and is kissing me her hands in my hair and moans pressing her body into me. I don't push her away and we kiss, her twining her tongue with mine long enough that we could be considered making out. We both pull away and I can't help but smile and laugh at her face as her eyes are wide and her hand covers her mouth. I feel my entire face and ears go red.

I shake my head when I can tell she is going to apologize and I take her arm and pull her over to the bar and order two more shots and then me a beer. We are giggling as we get to the bar and lean against it and each other.

"I am so sorry Talia. You just looked so fucking hot dancing like that. And then my insides felt all warm and I felt like I needed to kiss SOMETHING! But all I wanted to do was kiss you and find out what your lips felt like." Tris' face was red and her eyes were still wide.

Something catches my eye at the bar just across from me and I see Eric, his mouth is open like his jaw had dropped. He caught me looking and mouthed 'later' to me. He tipped his beer back and holds my eye for a bit longer. I have to start to count under my breath as I see him in his tight black t-shirt but no jacket on. My stomach does flips and I shake my head and turn back to smile at Tris and hug her.

"Don't apologize it's fine. I mean I had something like that happen with me but my moment was with Logan. Talk about fucking AWKWARD. He is basically my brother! I thought Clary was going to kill me, but she just fucking grabbed my face and started to kiss me. Anyways it happened the first time any of us went dancing at our first ever party and it was a Dauntless one too. Between the booze and the music it was kind of a night of firsts; my first party, my first time drinking and my fucking first kiss…was with Logan….who is my brother in all but fucking blood. Talk about weirdness. I have yet to have a kiss that has not been either Logan or Clary. Thankfully it never happened again with Logan and well Clary just keeps on trying."

Tris' eyes get wide and she frowns at my admission. "I have been kissed but….it was before he transferred and it was only a small kiss. Talia are you….like me…you know…" Tris trails off and glances around "you know like a …virgin?"

I look down and my hands and sigh with a shrug. "Yeah. I mean I guess I could have been with someone before now but I didn't want it to just be anyone. Also Tris….I will tell you all about it someday, but there wasn't time for that for me before all that shit at Erudite went down. I also never felt anything for anyone that would make me want to do that. I am not naive and think I have to be in love or married or even in a relationship. But if I can't even feel something why should I just do it to do it? I think...I think I need the guy that I won't be able to kick his ass in a fight. At the very least I need him to hold his own with me. Verbally, physically and mentally. I want a man with a gods damn brain between his shoulders. I will also say this, until today I didn't think I would find that. But I think I might have and...it is scary as shit but it is also intoxicating. I never got what the girls in my old faction were always going on about but I think maybe I do now." I shrug and frown as I look over in Eric's direction.

He glances at me and smirks but then goes back to talking to his friend about something. I notice he hasn't moved out to the dance floor and I can't help but wonder if I could dance with him and if I even should.

Tris smiles at me. "Why couldn't we have met earlier Tali? I already know that I felt those things for one guy but I also knew that I needed to make sure that any guy I was with wasn't going to want me be some damn subservient girl from abnegation even knowing I would transfer. I don't have an issue with the physical contact that most from that faction have but I don't plan on throwing myself around either. I want someone as strong as I hope to become."

I had ordered us another shot and thanked the bartender. He was shaking his head, probably having hear us talking. "Here is my card by the way."

He shakes his head smiling at me. "Already been taken care of, your drinks for the rest of the night have been taken care of."

I frown and am about to ask who is doing this shit, but Tris hands me my shot and clinks her glass with mine before we toss them back. I had ordered a beer so I take it and start sipping on it. I smile as I watch Tris who is watching the dance floor. I can tell Tris wants to get back out there because her body is moving even just standing there.

"Go Tris, you don't have to wait for me." I nudge her with a smile and a laugh.

Tris looks at me with a frown. "Are you sure? Aren't you supposed to….I don't know stay with the person…." she trails off frowning in thought.

I throw my head back and laugh in delight and then smirk at my friend who is surprising me left and right. I see others turn to see what I am laughing about and even Eric is smiling our way.

"That's leave with the one that brought 'ya, and we aren't in that type of deal. Not that you aren't hot but I prefer the opposite sex like I said. Go dance I am fine right here, I am going to relax with a well-earned beer from a super long ass day." I say truthfully and let my dimples show.

"I am going to grab Four then." Tris says shyly and I hold her back and nod approvingly. I order two more shots and then hand them to her.

"Here, take these and offer one to him. Then drag his ass onto the dance floor." I giggle as she practically bounces away. I laugh when she gets to Four and he smiles with pleasure just at her being near.

I sip my beer as my eyes drift over the dance floor. I love seeing my friends come in and out of view, laughing and dancing. Lynn has found a girl to dance with and looks like she is working on a hook up. I can't help but laugh and feel relieved that Lynn won't be trying that with me.

I feel someone at my elbow and a shot being placed in my hand. I look up and see Peter smiling at me.

I quirk an eyebrow but smile back at him. "What are you doing here? I thought your friends wouldn't let you come play?"

Peter shrugged with a smirk. "Couldn't exactly let you have all the fun could I? Going to take the shot? It isn't tequila. It's whatever the shit you have been drinking. I came out into the pit and Clary shouted not to give you tequila"

I frown slightly and hold the shot thinking. I don't get Peter or why he wears the mask he does around everyone else but me it seems. He also didn't really answer my question. "You have been watching me all night?"

He nodded and winked with his lopsided grin. "Not sorry about that either, you look amazing out there."

I blush and he taps his glass to mine then we toss back our shots. I chuckle at the grimace he makes at the taste. "I will just stick to beer or whiskey from now on." He mutters and then smiles wide and I wonder why he can't be like this all of the time.

I hand him my beer bottle as he presses close to me and we pass the beer back and forth for a bit. "Aren't your friends going to be pissed? What did you tell them?"

He shrugs and reaches up to lightly stroke my cheek then the nose piercing. "I don't even fucking care right now. Did you get anything else done?" He had leaned in closer to ask near my ear.

I nod and turn as I lift my hair then drape it over my shoulder so he can see the dermals. I feel his fingers trace down alongside the new dermal piercings before he lets them move down my bare back. "Those look sexy there. What else?" His voice is almost husky.

I move my hair back and turn back to face him. I move my tuck my hair behind my ears to show him the gauges and then blush as I stick my tongue out at him quickly.

I hear his muttered "Holy fuck" and I shrug blushing.

I felt stupid for sticking my tongue out like a little kid but I am not sure it warranted a holy fuck.

My blush deepens though at the look in his eyes and I tilt my head still wondering what the deal is with his friends. "Seriously though won't your friends get upset about you being here with me?"

Peter shrugs and I can tell at this moment he doesn't care. He grins a bit cheekily at me. "Like I said, I don't fucking care. What I do care about is when you are going to go dance with me."

I laugh and smirk at him as I take his hand. "You have horrible game Peter."

I lead him out to the dance floor and I try to ignore the look I see Eric wearing or that I really want it to be him out on the dance floor with me. Peter is safer though.

Like before I get carried away in the music except I dance close to Peter and he occasionally lets his hands roam me. He is always careful about where and how long he lets them stay on me though. This kind of frustrates me but I shrug that off. Sometimes I face him and we grind on each other while others my back is against his chest. Before the end of it I can feel he is turned on and I am breathing hard too, but nowhere near as turned on as a simple look or touch from Eric makes me feel.

On our last dance he moves the hair from my neck and softly presses his lips into my neck and shoulder while he runs his fingernails lightly down my spine. He gently kisses the new piercings but doesn't go any further.

When the dance ends he takes me by the hand and leads me to one of the couch areas and then goes and gets a couple of waters and comes back.

We don't talk, but sit there sipping our waters with our sides pressed close. He looks over at me and frowns. "I should go back, need to check on my friends and it is getting late."

I frown and look to the dance floor. I nod as I see Four leading Tris in our directions.

Peter starts to get up but leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. "Be safe going back to the room." He whispers and then he takes off almost running from the club.

I sit there wondering if I did something wrong or if I am just not attractive to him. I sigh and scowl at myself. I just need to remind myself that I am not here to get laid or a boyfriend. Right now this is about training. But I do wonder seriously what is wrong with these guys? Is it just something about me that sends them running off or scowling at me?

But that isn't really the truth because there is Eric. But can I go there with Eric? Do I want to be burned up and used like my mother?

Tris is laughing as she comes up and Four looks red but happy. I wipe the disappointment, sadness and confusion from my face so I won't ruin their night and smile as they walk up. I open my water again and start to sip it.

"Good, you both need to drink water. Did you pick up any aspirin?" Four asks looking over at me as he sits next to Tris, pressing close to her and letting his hand rest on her knee.

I clear my throat and force a smile. "Yeah I got all that shit at the commissary. If you stay here with her, I will go get us more waters." I look at him meaningfully and he nods smiling back at me. I am giving them quiet time together and hopefully he won't leave her as disappointed as I feel. I hand her my water bottle and Four smiles and pulls her back on the couch and they sit close as I move towards the bar.

I ask for four more waters and our jackets and I feel his warmth as he slides next to me at the bar. I look over and Eric's jaw is clenched and his eyes are angry.

I sigh and frown even more when I see that because I am not in the mood to put up with that right now. It isn't like I could do anything anyways. Eric is a leader and as I saw in the clinic isn't afraid throw his authority around.

"You know training is going to suck for all of you tomorrow morning, right? Lauren said you were determined to get in training on your off day. Looks like your friends might have gotten too drunk to do any." He asks as he moves even closer and towers me. I feel the electricity again as he instantly starts to lightly trail his fingers on my back and spine. I moan without even meaning to and I see him give me a wicked smile.

"I'm not drunk, but yeah it will suck for them at least." I frown and try to keep my voice normal with all the desire coursing through me.

"Why are you frowning Lia?" He demands with his mouth right at my ear.

I shiver slightly and I feel his smirk against my ear as he presses even closer. I shrug and try to act casual. "I don't know maybe because of illogical disappointment. I hate not being in control or not being logical about things."

"Or is it because that little punk wouldn't kiss you properly?" He growled into my ear wanting to make me shiver again, which I do.

I have that same feeling from the dining hall course through me as Eric moved even closer and I feel so muddled and confused. "Maybe, I don't know."

"Maybe you should find someone that will then." He grips my waist and presses into me. I feel his arousal pressing into me. Something takes over me as I reach back to his waist and grip him then moan. I hear him groan and his fingers dig into me.

"Get your friend back to the dorm and make sure you both drink those damn waters Lia." I hear the strain in his voice and he is commanding me but I don't want to go and he doesn't let me. He presses me into the bar from behind and I can feel the warmth from his hands and body as he grips my hips pushing the material of my shirt up some. My breathing comes out in gasps as I try to bring him closer with my hands at his back and waist.

He moves my hair from my neck and then roughly kissed and sucked on it. I moaned as my eyes closed and tilted my head further to give him better access. "Eric" I sigh his name and grasp him harder, pressing my ass against him.

I hear his groan as he runs his thumb down the dermal piercings on my spine and then twines his hand in my hair lightly tugging it out of the way and to hold my head in the position he wanted it.

When I felt him pull on my hair I couldn't help the moan that escaped me or how my knees went weak.

Eric growled in pleasure knowing a button he could push on me and held me steady on my feet as I swayed. He kept on kissing and licking along my neck and shoulders for what did not seem like near long enough. One of his hands traveled up until it was lightly resting against my throat while he kissed his way to my ears and growled when he tugged on the new gauges.

I gasped at the barrage of sensations and moaned his name again. "Eric"

Eric stopped his ministrations but growled into my ear. "Go now before I do something you will regret."

He moved away from me but was still near. I went to grab my things but he grabbed me again and pulled me with him out to the dance floor. Not far from the bar but enough. My chest was against his and he held me tight against him. His arousal pressed against my heat and our eyes closed as he moved me against him in time with the music.

This wasn't like any dance I had ever done before because I am lost in him, not the music. His hands roam my body but his eyes hold mine as we open them to take each other in. Both of our eyes must just be molten pools of desire.

Once again it was like we synced up to each other. With one hand still holding me tight to his chest his other went into my hair and then he crashed his mouth against mine. He took my mouth in a rough kiss and growled when his tongue met mine. He wasn't sweet or gentle as he plundered it but I didn't care because I pulled him tighter to me. He broke away from the kiss and smirked at me as he saw the longing there, but I saw his too.

He leaned closer to my ear. "Now let that punk measure up to that if he can." He growled sending shivers down my spine. "Go Lia before I take more than you are ready to give up."

He closed his eyes and I felt those muscles work to hold himself back as he released me again. I wanted to protest that I was ready, but I knew I wasn't not really.

I pinched myself to break myself from the haze and moved away from him. I grabbed the waters along with the jackets and walked back to Tris. Four had just moved away and from Tris' dreamy look he had just kissed her. Well at least one of them won't be leaving disappointed or worse.

I knew I was experiencing the sexual frustration I had heard girls talk about and knew I would have to do what they suggested for when those times happened. Most likely in the shower tonight.

I helped her stand, put on her jacket then my own before we left weaving a bit as we walked. I felt rather than saw Eric watching us until we finally made it into the dorm, somehow I knew he had followed me all the way there to make sure I did exactly as he wanted me too.

Logan and Clary had made their way to his bed and I put a water bottle and aspirin on his table for each of them. I helped Tris to gather together her pajamas, toiletries and towel then led her to a shower stall and set her up. I had to help her undress and took her clothes to her hamper when she was in the shower. I waited for her to finish and helped her get dressed, brushed and braided her hair and then helped her into bed. When she was tucked in, had taken the aspirin and finished her water I went to do the same thing for myself.

At first I had just tried ignoring how aroused I was, then tried the cold shower approach. Finally I had leaned against the wall and let my hand move against myself. I had thought of Peter at first and his body against mine during our dances but I couldn't kid myself and I started to replay Eric and the feel of his mouth and body pressed against me. His kiss and how he had plundered my mouth. How much I had strained to press my ass against his obvious erection and gasped at the memory of how large he seemed. I had been moving my hips against it trying to achieve something. I replayed the feeling of him gripping my hair and pulling so that I submitted to him. I imagined what our bodies moving on the dance floor would be like if it had been the bed. I tried not to let any sounds or moans escape me as I finally climaxed when I imagined having Eric press into me from behind as he kissed and would bite down on my neck like he had done tonight. I washed my hair and body quickly after that and tried to balance on weak legs.

I came out of the shower, put on my body lotion and changed into my pajama short set I had picked up during our shopping. I laid out my training clothes that I would be wearing tomorrow. I put everything I would need for training in the small bag they gave us for the training gear and put it on top of the clothes I laid out. I listened to the sounds of the rest of the dorm asleep as I drank some more water, took the aspirin and then went to brush my hair.

I felt my bed dip down so with a sigh and frown I turned to Peter. He took the brush from my hands and turned me back around then sat brushing my hair.

When I turned back and took the brush from him I was going to tell him that was tired. But he moved in close and cupped my face in his hands and tilted my head to look at him. He leaned in to kiss me gently and then with more passion after.

We broke away from the kiss and he kissed my forehead softly. "I didn't want it to be at the club or if you were drunk." Peter whispered.

I looked at him with my head tilted. I didn't really believe that was the reason but why would he lie? "So why kiss me now in the middle of a dorm with everyone asleep around us?"

He gave me a lopsided grin. "Because I didn't want to not do it before we both went to sleep."

He kissed me again and we stayed with our heads together for a bit before we lay down and went to sleep, I didn't even put up a fuss when he lay down with me in my bed.

He was up and into his own bed long before anyone woke up. That was the start of a very confusing relationship with Peter. One thing was for certain; Eric had known exactly what he was doing when he had kissed me first and dared Peter to be able to measure up with that. He knew he wouldn't be able to but he also didn't count on how stubborn I could be. I knew I hadn't wanted Peter to be my first real kiss. When I had thought of the two, Eric's face had come to my mind. The problem was that Eric and what he made me feel scared the shit out of me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

My alarm on my watch goes off at 4:50am and I gave everyone a time of 5:30. I know I want to go grab a cup of coffee and make out a training plan so I get up and get dressed, grab my packed backpack and start to head out when I feel someone beside me. I turn and see Tris scrambling to after she did all the same. I smile at her and nod with my head to the door. She even made her bed like I instructed everyone last night they should do.

We make it into the dining hall and I am looking forward to the coffee. Tris grabs a hot tea and we make our way to a table. I barely register that there are people already there as I sit down and pull out a notebook and pen as well as the three books I want to have us go over today to.

Tris blows on her tea and quirks an eyebrow at me. "What is all that?"

I frown as I start furiously writing what I would like to fit in. "Kind of a training plan outline. I am going through my mind and reviewing what each of us needs to focus on. In group training it won't be so individual focused so that is what I hope to help with. Especially you Tris."

The bench creaks and I look up and see a bleary Lauren, Four, Hector and Eric even sitting down. I look around a notice that apparently this is a leader or senior member table.

I look at Four and frown. "Oh sorry sir, we can move."

Four quirks an eyebrow and shakes his head. "No we were actually going to join you. Though I didn't think I would find any of you up yet."

At my perplexed look he shrugs he shoulders and smirks "If you can put in the time we can. Lauren will go get Uri and the girls."

I nod and smile. "I told them a time and what to pack ahead of time. I am just putting together the plan for today. Speaking of training though."

I look over at Tris and frown worriedly. "Tris you heard Logan and Clary joking about me being a hardass in training. Only it isn't a joke. So before we get started I need to forewarn you and then we can go from there...ok?"

Tris frowns but nods so I take a breath and nod. "So Tris I am going to forewarn you about the extra training. We are going to have to work hard to get your body up to a good level of physical fitness. I don't doubt you can do it Tris but you have to understand. I am not nice when it comes to training. Like fucking at all, I am rather ruthless even. Logan and Clary can tell you that you will probably hear this from me all the time but it is just my way of life and outlook. To me failure isn't an option, failure is death to me. What I mean by that is that you push yourself until you feel you're are just going to fucking break and then you push yourself beyond that. If you do that then I am ok if you aren't where you need to be right then. But if I know you aren't doing that then I will walk away. Otherwise you are just wasting your own time and more importantly mine. I can be a bitch when it comes to all that shit but it won't ever be personal. Before you answer because I see you are about to say you can handle it I need to give you an example." I pause and take a drink of coffee and try to ignore Eric and the others hanging on my every word.

"Remember I said one day I will tell you all about my time in Erudite and I will. But suffice it to say...I was being….trained for something. I was made almost forcefully to become a commander of sorts. I didn't learn in a pretty way but it is what it is. The difference between how I learn and how I trained my…" my hand unconsciously goes to my dog tags and starts playing with them "...squad was that it wasn't because I enjoyed the pain that had been inflicted on me. I wanted and needed them to succeed and to learn. Because failure Tris, was literally death then. So my example is Clary, she wasn't a part of my small team. I love Clary, but coming here was going to be a problem for her because we are made to fight each other. I think they still allow conceding which I find to be something I won't personally do. I will have to be beaten to a bloody mess or knocked out. Either way Clary could not handle the thought of having to do that to a friend or just a comrade. I had to get her out of that somehow so I made her fight me. Tris when I say I made her fight me I went at her with everything I had and forced her to defend herself just to stay alive. I wouldn't really have killed her but I wouldn't have been easy on her either. I started out that she had to draw first blood. And I do mean she had to get me to bleed first not she bleed but managed to get me after. Then she had to draw a certain amount of blood before I stopped. In the end she got over her fear of fighting a friend because she saw I was ok and that I didn't hate her or hold it against her. She got stronger and now she is a damn good fighter."

I take a breath and look over to Tris whose frown had gotten worse and my brow furrows even more. "So, if that is cool with you then I am willing to put in every second I have to train with you. If not then that is fine and no hard feelings."

I bite my lip and tense waiting for her answer nervously. I already feel close to Tris and I would hate for that to drive her away.

Tris smiles at me reassuringly and pats my hand. "We didn't choose Dauntless because we thought it would be easy. If you didn't care Tali then you wouldn't be offering to help. I trust you, though it probably sounds really odd seeing how we just meet yesterday. Besides I can be pretty damn stubborn and I am not going to give up easy."

I let out a relieved breath and nod with a smile. "Good, I just hope you feel that same way by the end of the day. It is a day off and we won't train the whole day but I would like to see where you are at so we know where to start. I mean it when I say I am ruthless and brutal. But I am just as hard on myself if not more so and I would never ask anyone to do something that I myself am not going to do right along with you. The old saying of those who can't…teach…does not fly for me. I expect everyone else to either put up or shut up and I hold myself to that same thing."

Tris nods with determination "You know my mom came from Dauntless. I didn't find that out until a year ago. She told me that she would try and help me as much as she could beforehand but it is hard to do with how micro managing my old faction could be. She tried to help out as far as nutrition went but my dad is a leader and our family was watched so closely. I never understood the point of basically starving ourselves essentially. There were a lot of things I had issues with that faction though."

Eric gives a derisive snort and then shakes his head but is looking at me curiously and moves closer looking over what I have written down. Then he just takes the notebook and starts thumbing through everything I have written down. I see him turn to Connor and Max and they start talking but I turn back to Four and Tris.

"I think every faction has it's issues but I agree about the food aspect. Abnegation work hard in the volunteer aspects and it can be hard on the body. In the end they hurt themselves more because without the proper nutrition you can't be as effective. They try to be selfless but in truth, that act alone is selfish because they put such a great importance on it. It is almost like they find it more important to show just how much better and sacrificing they can be. Like we said though earlier it will be easier to get you to the levels you need to be at as long as you are militant about eating the right foods, taking your vitamins and training your body correctly."

"Thank you Tali. I feel like with you here to help me I have family." Tris says softly with a smile.

"Me too, I always wanted a sister. Logan is a brother to me in all but blood. When they took me out of my dad's house the first time his family took me in. I ended up moving out on my own when I was 14 but they still remained family to me. You said something about your brother, I take he went to Erudite?"

Tris sighs and nods "Yeah he transferred this year. We weren't far apart in age but we weren't really close. Even at a young age he was so condescending and acted so superior. I thought for sure he was going to stay in Abnegation. He just seemed like the perfect son of sacrifice. He always knew what to do and called me on how horrible I was at being selfless. I always knew I would be coming here."

I playfully bumps Tris' hip with my own. "Well it was his loss then if he couldn't see how amazing his sister is. "

Eric clear his throat and looks to me. "You wanted to get all of this done today?"

I look over the list and shrug. "Some are going to be able to do more than others. But I need to evaluate everyone and come up with an individual plan. That can't be done in the real training with all the instructors. Although…." I pause and chew my lip in thought for a moment.

Eric nudges me and motions with his eyes to go on. I look to Four and Lauren. "You two said you are willing to put in the time and in this training I want to help in where each person will be strongest. Part of what I am thinking about for training is gearing for fights. Those will be the biggest obstacles for everyone that hasn't had some preparation. I know Dauntless has core moves and those are good building blocks but they are also designed with people for builds like you, Eric and Connor. Tris and Will aren't going to do well with just those techniques alone. Tris for sure won't because she won't build up enough upper body strength no matter what I do. I would like to do something. Logan, Clary and I spar often and we all have different styles. I would like to do a demonstration of those and I would like help splitting everyone up based on those styles. Tris I think will be like Clary; she is fast and agile and uses that to slip in and out of attacks. I taught her to be surgical in the hits she makes so everyone counts. Logan is control and power. I also taught him to use his opponent's own momentum and tells against them. I am pretty brutal in my fighting but I learned to do all of those styles. Uriah I see being like me, along with Lynn. Will is going to be more along Logan's speed but he has potential to be brutal if he lets himself go enough. He won't though so I don't think we should waste our time on it. Mar is a tough one though and I will need help on placing her."

Connor and Eric exchanged glances but they look to Max who nods with some kind of silent communication. "We don't normally allow any sparring within the first few days but you just want us to see your styles to place them? Then what would be your plan? Also, just a heads up Talia we are going to want to have a conversation with you before you head off to the training room about what training you have done."

I shrug and take the notebook and start writing a list of materials I need to purchase to help with training as well. "Then based on those styles we focus their workouts customized to that. It is a waste of resources to assume all physical activities will benefit everyone. Tris and Mayra will be core and lower body heavy. Of course we won't leave off upper body but they won't get the most out of workouts if that is what we go heavy on. For brutal, like me, I am a combination of both. I strengthen every part of me, including my fingers. I can get into how I do that later when we talk about all the training I have done. But that would be the goal, place what type of fighters we have and play to their strengths but still work on mitigating the weaknesses."

They all nod and Connor smiles "I like it. It might be a bit more time consuming Eric, but this is another one we can add."

I frown and nod and sigh sipping my coffee. I look over to Four and frown. "Four I would go wake them up but I need to talk to the leaders. Here is the list of everything they need to pack in the bags. Tris can help you carry the extra waters and oranges I have pulled aside here for them. They need to put it all in their bags because they will act like weight training rucksacks for the suicides on stairs I have planned. Make sure they make their damn bed's too please. And if they don't remind Logan I am adding ten extra laps per second they take to make them."

Four smirks while shaking his head then he gets up chuckling with Tris and Lauren and they head out.

I turn to the leaders who are around me and Eric is frowning at a file he had pulled out. I catch some of it and I sigh and frown.

"Talia tell us about the team you were made to put together." Max starts sternly.

I take a breath and run through my head how much I can tell them and how much I can leave out. "The leaders along with my father were working on a project. I guess things weren't panning out here how they wanted them too but they had started in on me from a very early age. I was in charge of the martial training of five dependents and we were to serve as security or muscle for the leaders."

Max nodded and looked to Connor. "We will forgo talking about that anymore for right now. Let's talk about a few things. You are no doubt aware that there are changes being made to how initiation is being run correct?"

I nod frowning in thought. There were rumors there was going to be advanced training and regular training. "Sir, yes Sir. I had heard some rumors about advanced training and then the normal initiation training."

Eric nods. "Starting Monday everyone will be tested for preparation knowledge, physical training and other skills that could qualify them. Also any projects or research that was put in will also be put into the evaluations."

Max tilts his head. "We would like you to compile a list that I have heard is rather lengthy of any and all training you did on your own. After the testing is done we can make decisions on who will be in the classes or not. But we are also interested in some of your own ideas that have been mentioned and written down. For instance...what are weight belts?"

I tilt my head wondering why they don't know about those. "Well they are almost like rucksacks. They are bits of material that I fill with a set amount of weights and sew them together. Then those strap to ankles, wrists and waists for runs, hikes and other activities. It builds muscle, stamina and lung capacity when used in hiking or running on inclines. I was planning to buy the materials later today after the training and make some for those most in need right now. Tris for one, then Will, Clary and Mar. Then I can work on the other ones as needed. You also increase the weight as everyone gets stronger."

Max smiles and nods then looks to Eric who smirks. "Talia we will get the materials for you to make the ones you need for your group right now and we can get you help to make them. Eric I would like to implement this with the transfer group for sure and the Dauntless-born as needed. Have Talia come up with the design and get it to our contractor to get bulks of them made."

Eric nods with his smirk still in place and looks over to me. "Before dinner I will be going with you to the Clinic to speak with Shonda about your nutritional plan Talia. It has been authorized for any customizations to be made to it."

I sigh internally and nod. "Sir yes Sir."

Eric frowns but shakes his head "Meet me at the dorm at 6pm and I will accompany you. For now we should head to the training room for your extra training."

I quirk my eyebrow and Max chuckles. "Eric and Connor will be observing and assisting. Especially if you are sparring so early they need to be there."

I nod and with that I stand and am followed closely to the training room. I feel this feeling of foreboding almost that my plan of sticking with my friends and flying under the radar is not going to work. I always knew I wanted to work to a good position in Dauntless where I could help. I just wasn't really sure where I wanted that to be because there was so much I wanted to do.

Walking into the training room I looked over my friends that all looked to me, not the Instructors or Leaders, but me to guidance, love and respect and I knew it didn't matter where I was as long it was where I could help them the most.


	13. Chapter 13

****A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying the story. I was aiming for a different kind of Eric. He is still hard and a dick at times but he has had to be. This is also a sort of slow burn because Lia has to find herself first. Anyways thanks for the views and hope you enjoy.****

 ** **Disclaimer: I still do not own the divergent world just my crazy curve balls thrown into it.****

 ** **Chapter 13****

I sighed as I rolled my shoulders. It was the end of the day for the extra training and I nodded as everyone was breaking from the groups we had put them into.

Eric, Connor, Four, Lauren, Hector and I had gotten a good grasp on who matched up with the correct fighting style. The only kink had been that Eric had then pulled me to the side and made me spar with him while Max looked on.

Then again they had pulled Logan aside and did the same thing too, but with Four instead of Eric.

I had to admit, it was almost a fucking turn on to spar with Eric. But I was torn because I knew I needed to hold back.

As my friends were coming up I smiled and nodded at them. "Guys really good training today. We have about 3 hours until dinner. I would like it if everyone got showered and then picked up the books that were are to go over. We are going to be quizzed on this shit and honestly we just fucking need to know it. So it is up to you but I will have already made up my own quizzes and I will put those out there for you to go over and use them as a guide to help you understand what you are reading. I know the rules and regs can be kind of dry so I have put things into scenarios so you understand why those could and will relate to you. Otherwise were we planning on hitting the parlor Tris with that design I am making you?"

Tris nodded and smiled as she drank some water. "Yes, are you going to have it ready?"

I shrugged and nodded. "Yep, sure will. Ok well, I don't know about you guys but I know my clothes got a good soak from all of my sweat." I smirk gleefully and Logan shakes his head.

"Only you could love working out and fighting as much as others enjoy drinking or other activities…" he says hinting at something when he pulls Clary to him.

I blush and glare at him "Yes well I fucking make do with what I know. Now leave me and my inexperienced ass alone would you or I will up your fucking stair suicides to 50 tomorrow."

Logan blanches and that causes laughter. I shake my head and mutter dismissed and gather my things.

Eric is leaning against the wall and smirking at me and nods his head for me to head over to him.

I walk over frowning and he bites his lip before he tilts his head. "Tomorrow I will be getting you up at 4am. We will be coming in here for training. Plan on that everyday for the rest of the week at least. You can start the extra training for your friends at 6am and do about an hour before training and no more than two after training ends."

I drink some water and calculate what needs to be done and nod. "I can live with that. Tris will be playing catch up but those time frames should help a lot. Am I still meeting you in the dorm at 6pm?"

He grins and moves closer. "Unless I find you sooner." He leans in close "Get ready to be spending a lot of time together Lia."

His voice is a purr and I fight to hold back a shiver and fail. He chuckles and backs away. "You should head out and get that shower then."

He turns and walks away to where Connor is talking to a frowning Four and Logan.

Logan signs to me "all good" and I nod and keep walking but not before the other three men look between us and shake their heads.

I hear Eric mutter. "Shouldn't be fucking surprised." Then Connor chuckles.

"Hey Talia." I hear Peter drawl from beside me as I exit the training room corridor. I look over and he is smiling at me.

"Hey Peter." I nod and smile back to him. He had come into the training room once but walked out when his friends dragged him off and once again I wondered about a guy that let his friends walk all over him.

"So why would you put yourself through more training?" He asked with an eyebrow quirked looking down at me. He was only slightly taller but still it irked me that I couldn't be eye level with Eric...or Peter. Or anyone for that matter.

I shrug and frown "Just because it is an off day doesn't mean we should take it easy. Especially for us transfers, we have a lot to catch up on. I also want to do well here. Don't you?"

Peter frowns and looks dead ahead as we walk. "Yeah, I would say I want to be rank 1 but ranks don't determine shit anymore. But yea I want to do well. I don't think you have anything to worry about from what I could see."

I shrug "I still need to train and I want to help my friends. You could join us you know." I look over to him. I feel like I need to help him. There is something about him that is as if he is crying out for help.

Peter smirks "I wouldn't mind some extra training. But I am kind of a dick Talia, wouldn't be a good idea for me to get around your friends or my friends around yours for that matter."

I sigh and shake my head. "Well then maybe I can set aside some time to help you out by myself."

Peter smiles at me and brushes his hand against mine and then pulls me to an alcove quickly. He kisses me softly and I let him but we don't deepen it. "As long as we can spend time together not training Talia. I think I want that more than anything."

My heart softens at the need and tenderness in his voice, touch and eyes and I nod. "We will put aside some time. I think I am going to be busy but I would like to spend time with you too Peter."

Peter smiles and steps away from me after another brief brush of his lips to mine and then we start walking again. He breaks away from me as I get to the dorm. Tris and Clary are already there and I hurriedly get my shower things ready and then gratefully stepped into the shower.

It felt wonderful to let the water cascade over me. I tried to keep my mind off the perplexing situation between myself, Peter and Eric.

I couldn't deny wanting Eric and it was increasing. But Peter was...besides the issue with his friends, he felt like he might be the safer option for a first relationship.

I sighed as I finished showering, dressing and side braiding my hair.

Tris was on her bed when I came out and reading over her books. I smiled at her and went over to my own. I dumped my workout clothes in my hamper and unpacked my bag and put everything away before grabbing a sketch pad and pencils.

Tris looked over at me and frowned. "Talia...would you like to go to the roof. Clary and Logan went to get their hair done. Logan wants to shave his and Clary is getting hers cut too for the fights. I don't want my hair cut but I think I want to get out of the dorm."

I nod and smile. "I will just pack my bag with my books and the stuff to sketch things. I admit I can't wait to see the view from the roofs in this part of the complex."

I had dressed in jeans, boots and a casual off the shoulder blood red shirt with a keyhole back. I knew it would be cooler on the roof so I put a black beanie over my head and grabbed my new favorite leather jacket of the black and grey. Never mind that it was exactly like the one Eric always wore but cut to fit my figure to perfection.

Tris got dressed and packed too and we walked to the rooftop entrance I remember being closest to us.

We opened the door and sighed at the wonderful cool air as it hit us and we smiled at each other.

Moving over to a wall that could shield us from the wind we sat down after taking in the view.

Our city was actually more of an area composed of several different cities. Once the main part of our society was called Seattle Washington. We aren't sure what made the last of humanity choose to set up the refuge in this area, but I have to say I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Seattle is still where the bulk of our population choose to settle. Erudite usually take the multitude of restored highrises while Abnegation take what were once called suburbs but they made them into their own image. Dull gray concrete boxes that serve to house but not allow true life.

Candor do highrises too but they have also turned large long buildings into living compounds.

Dauntless are split. Because we are the protectors we have a headquarters in the centre of the city so that patrols, safety and jail is coordinated from.

A bit further out of the city is where the Dauntless set up their own self contained community where it is urban but also a part of nature. Where we are now is even further into the mountain area where we can be trained peacefully and use the land, buildings and harshness to shape us.

Amity have several communities depending on the type of livestock or agriculture it handles and are set up around man made lakes for all the fish and freshwater that are all vital to our survival.

Between the mountains, the towering green trees and the cityscape in the background the view itself from the training compound roof is stunning.

I start to sketch as Tris reads but I can tell something is on her mind.

"Go ahead and talk about what you need to Sis." I say without taking my eyes off of my drawing. I am working on the tattoo for her.

I feel her smile beside me at my use of calling her my sister. "Four said you figured us out from the moment you landed in the net."

I smile and shrugged. "I would never tell anyone Tris. But yes, I was sort of trained to be observant like that."

She sighs and nods "Do you want to talk about that Talia. I can tell with how the leaders were there, you were bothered by something."

I start the shading for the shoulder cap piece and I sigh. "They wanted an army. As I am sure you know they used the factionless, but they had aimed to use Dauntless first. During that time though five of us were picked and trained. I was supposed to lead it all because…" I take a deep breath and look at her "because I am 100% divergent."

Her eyes widen in surprise but she puts her hand on my arm and nods. "Not one hundred but three of five."

I smirk and nod "I know, I was trained to spot them. Eventually we would have been sent to hunt them. Two of my team were sent to hunt them in Amity and the factionless. I hated not being able to keep them from that. I wanted to take that burden on myself but they wouldn't send me out. I was too valuable they said. Not was I only trained Tris...they experimented on me."

My hands still and I frown "I worry only because it will come out eventually, somehow. I am too well trained and today when I was sparring with Eric...I had to hold back. I have to always hold back and keep control. But I want and need to do well Tris. I paid such a high price to not be able to help Dauntless. I want to make us stronger, so I worry. I worry that when things come out…"

Tris frowns and shakes her head "They won't blame you or turn you away because you are divergent. Four doesn't like Eric, almost hates him, but he said Eric saved quite a few of us. George was one of them. He is still hated here even though he took on that burden himself."

I nod and sigh. I know all too well how that is. Frowning in thought I think of something. I had already finished Tris' tattoo so I work on a simple one for me. She looks at me as I work and I have to explain it to her as I go.

By the end of my drawing we are ready. With one last look we pack up and head to the tattoo parlor.

Tori frowns when she sees us for a moment. "Did I forget an appointment? I thought we weren't starting on that one tattoo until the weekend."

I shake my head with a laugh. "Nope we still have that one, but I came up with that design for Tris and then one for me that is pretty simple. We have some time before dinner and an appointment at the clinic for me."

Tris looked at Bud, Tori's husband. "Also Bud, I am going to be getting a few spine dermals. Tali said I can use her idea of using them as a mark as the rite of passage for us becoming warriors. So I would like three sapphire dermals please."

Bud and Tori quirk their eyebrows but smile and nod. "Well Bud can take Tris and get those done and Tali I can get your tattoo set up. Let's see the design."

I pull out the set of drawings, mine and Tris. "So this will go down my spine and I want it in vibrant white ink please."

Tori nods and scans the design in and sets up the laser printing ink machine. For this one I will be going with the machine but the others I will probably do the gun.

"So it is just a bunch geometric shapes?" She says with a frown and I shake my head.

"No it is a mathematical language based on a race from a sci-fi show. It all has meaning to me and some of them are phrases but other words." I hedge not wanting to explain the sayings just yet.

Tori seems to get it and nods. Once I get set up after I take my top and bra off I lay on my stomach and she starts the tattoo. I refuse the numbing agent because that again would be against the point of earning the tattoo.

Once she is done and spreads the healing cream on it I beam as I get dressed looking at the perfect circles and symbols that start from the last dermal to the base of my spine.

Tris finished her dermals and came over to get her tattoo. The design was simple. There are a pair of hands; male and female in design and detail that are sitting just under the collar bone. They are not exactly in the Abnegation symbol but are more as if they are cupped. They are releasing two ravens that are flying up the collar bone, but the last one is close to the shoulder and from the wing span of that raven dauntless flames begin.

The flames are delicate and circle her shoulder cap as if a pauldron on a knight's armor. In the center is the Dauntless symbol itself.

When Tris is done we are both beaming as we head back to the dorm and to meet up with our friends.

Later that night as I lay down to bed I think about the day. Eric had found me almost as soon as I got to the dorm and then dragged me away to his office where I was put in front of his computer to compile the list of all the training I did on my own as well as what my survival training entailed.

He sat so close I was almost on his lap and he kept brushing his hands against me. After printing that out for leadership he led me to the clinic and I talked with Shonda about my diet.

I left confused because somehow Eric had arranged that he would be calling in my meals daily. He stuck beside me the whole time and I was immediately led to the leader table to have dinner and go over what trainings I had done and just talked in general to leadership. It felt like a freaking job interview to be honest.

After dinner I went to spend time with my friends and we hung out in the Pit but Eric was always near and moved in and out of the group. Every chance he got he was touching me, but I can't say that I didn't enjoy it or gravitate towards him too.

Right now though, the whole dorm is asleep and Peter came over to talk but ended up laying down with me and cuddling me.

"So you think maybe we can hang out tomorrow after training?" Peter asks softly from beside me, his arms wrapped around me.

I sigh and frown "I am not sure. I have to be up early for training with Eric and then training with my friends. Then we have training for real. Maybe we could try and get together around 7 or so?"

He nuzzles my neck and sighs "Sure, I will take what I can get."

I am pretty spent from the night so I drift off quickly and just like the night before he was gone well before I woke up which was a good thing considering Eric woke me up.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The last week has been pretty brutal. Testing was pretty intense but so were all the extra training sessions I was trying to fit in.

Eric hadn't woken me up since that first morning and he seemed to be pissed about something. I was still doing an hour in the morning with my friends and an hour at night. Peter and I had gotten to spend time at a movie one night but we had to sneak out and then whenever he and his friends are around me he slips that dick mask on or ignores me.

Our weekend starts and I cannot be happier, but I am already planning on training Tris more as well as the others. Only two more hours and we begin our off days.

Max, Eric, Connor, Leo and Andrea are all in the training room along with the instructors and there is going to be some kind of announcement.

Eric calls for order and Max stands in front of the two classes that have been combined.

"Alright everyone. The first week is over and I am sure you all noticed the level of assessments and testing you have all been put under. This was done for a few reasons but let's start with the first." Max moved forward and held a Tablet in front of him.

"Will the following people step forward when I call your name."

"Logan, Talia, Dylan, Edward, Peter, Uriah, Emmett, Ash, Link, and Cinder."

We all stepped forward and Max looked over us. "Congratulations you ten are being put in an advanced training program. This means you will be trained in a shorter amount of time and become members more quickly. You will be ranked within the group but at anytime during your stages should you fail evaluations you will be moved back to the regular class. Your advanced training does not guarantee you a good position alone. That will still be performance, attitude, aptitude and compatibility driven. You will remain in the dorms for now and for most of the classes you will be in the same training room with the others. Eric, Connor, Four and Zane will all be handling different stages of training. Your training will be two months and two weeks long and then you will be full fledged members. I would just like to say a few things about training this year in general and the changes we have made."

Max's voice turns hard and I can tell he is angry about something. "Almost three years ago our very world was almost torn about because of individuals that thought they had the right to rule us all. To take our very choices from us and our will. Dauntless had to stand on the front lines and gun down controlled people to protect this way of life. We had to watch innocents die before we could get to them but in the end we prevailed and we are working to rebuild. We cannot afford to turn on our brother's and sister's. So do we have you compete against each other? Yes we do have you compete and drive each other to do better. With that being said there will not be attacks on on fellow dauntless tolerated. It will either end in immediate expulsion or death. Advanced training is meant to be a privilege not to turn people savage on each other because top rank means nothing anymore. We are always watching you. Remember that."

He gives us all hard look and inside I feel sick because I didn't do more. I could have stopped it all….

Eric steps up and addresses the group of advanced training. "On Monday the advanced group will report here at 8am as normal unless you otherwise told by a member of leadership."

Then he looked at me briefly his eyes turning hard and then he looked over at Peter. "There will be NO sparring with initiates unless it is approved by leadership or instructors. You have been warned."

And now I know why he is pissed. Peter and I had been sneaking off and working on his training and sparring. I don't know how he found out though.

We are dismissed for the day and Peter and his friends disappear. I never know where they go for dinner but they aren't around. Unless we planned it beforehand I don't see Peter.

Tris and Clary link arms with me as the others congratulate everyone who made the group.

"We have to celebrate!" Lauren says beaming with her hand in Hector's. Apparently they made things official.

Tris, Clary, Mar and Lynn and nod smiling and I shrug. I am feeling torn. Between the issues with Peter and my desire for Eric I have never felt more confused adding in the guilt about the deaths I wanted to prevent.

I start to play with my necklace and Logan frowns and pulls me to his side. "Yeah let's hit the bar tonight. We can just sit back and relax with some good whiskey."

I laugh and nod, giving in.

I talked the girls out of making me wear a dress, but I did wear leather pants and a backless tank top. All black of course. I put on my favorite jacket and we went to a bar in the pit that was pretty popular for all of the group of elder Dauntless.

I was nursing a glass of whiskey at the booth after having danced a bit and we had been there for a least an hour. Shonda and Lauren had just bounced off to get more drinks and I got up to go to the bar to get another one.

I looked across the bar and where the pool tables were I noticed the familiar figure of Eric. Like always when he is dressed casually he makes my breath become ragged and my pulse quicken.

I almost went to talk to him until I noticed him press some blonde up against the wall and then started kissing her. I felt my heart plummet into my stomach and my blood run cold.

I don't know what I expected and I didn't know what I was feeling except for...beyond angry. I was hurt and for the first time since my mother was killed by my father, I wanted to cry.

I spun around and went back to the bar. I ordered two more shots of double whiskey tossed those back and was counting under my breath.

I wouldn't let it get to me. So what yeah we had shared moments. So what that every day this week he had taken me to his office or I had shared breakfast with him and he was always touching me or saying nice things to me.

Now I knew I was another piece of ass to him and I wasn't much better to Peter, a dirty secret or mind games. All I knew at that moment was they could both go to hell. I had two months and three weeks to get through and I would give it everything I had.

I watched Eric walk out of the bar with the blonde following him like a fucking little puppy and I promised myself never again.

"Talia?" Lauren says from across the room as we are all hanging out in The Pit Saturday afternoon two weeks later. We had done training earlier and now were all showered and hanging out. I was sitting on a rock pressed against a wall, my sketchpad in my hands and working on a few drawings.

"Talia?" Lauren shouts to get my attention and I look up frowning.

"Huh?" I ask confused and Tris looks over at me frowning too.

"Ok, that is it. Something is going on. You have been…off since well for a while. What is going on Tal?" Lauren asks worriedly.

Right now it is just Lauren, Clary, Shonda, Tris and I. I frown in thought. "I don't know to be honest guys. I guess I don't understand men really and I think…." I bite my lip. "I think I don't want to. I don't think I am made for relationships or want one. Dauntless….this is all I want. So I came to a decision that is what I am going to do and who I am going to be. I will be the job, the faction. I am not made for feelings or…" I shrug not wanting to say not made for opening my heart to anyone. Lauren's lips thin and she growls.

"It's that fucking Peter isn't it?" Lauren hisses and Clary and Tris both clench their jaws.

I had resolved to call things off with Peter but I didn't. We weren't together but I still allowed myself to steal moments away and let his smiles win me over. There was something that was crying out for help in him and I wanted to. Then there was the fact that I had told Eric that I was with Peter. I think I might have done it more out of jealousy and I hated that I stooped to that. Something in Peter cried out for me, I just needed him to I just didn't like my reasons for needing him.

That hadn't gone well but he didn't stop trying to touch me. In fact he started doing it more. Now I barely had time for my friends or myself. I was being taken to meetings with him to other factions. I went with Andrea to Candor on Wednesday and attended meetings. I went with Max and his wife Daria to Amity with Eric there too. It was a dinner and it was all around weird because I almost felt like a date. If I missed training during the day because of those meetings, I was in the training room that night with Eric to make up for it.

I still had main advanced training and we started fear sims on Tuesday. But even with all of the meetings I was still doing one on one training with Eric. Weapons and combat, faction paperwork and learning the security systems were all a part of the one on one training. Three nights this week I had dinner in Eric's office with him as we worked on one thing or another; and while I loved it, I hated it too.

I craved his touch but at the same time hated myself for it. I saw him at The Pit last night leaving a bar with another blonde following behind him. It didn't hurt as bad but it did hurt.

I look to the girls and shake my head "No not really. It is me. I told you about my mom and how my dad.." I swallow and Tris comes to sit by me and puts her arm around my shoulders and pulls me to her. "...he killed her."

Shonda, who has become like my mother rather than sister looks at me softly and nods.

"What I never told anyone, not even Logan, was that before that I talked to my mom about them. How they met and how she fell for him. Before I was born…she was beautiful and full of life. She was said they were like magnets and they just pulled towards each other. I was 8 when I begged her to tell me why? Why would she stay with such a bastard, and how she could love him? I could tell she didn't really love him and it was only me holding here there at that point. But she told me that at one point…she burned for him. That from her very core she burned for him. But I could tell what she didn't say, that then she was burned all up. He broke her heart, her spirit, her body and her soul until finally there was no life left. Whatever passion is...is it worth that?"

My eyes turn fiery and hard. "I decided recently that it isn't. I won't let myself burn for him or be pulled to him anymore. One I am a secret to and the other I am...not willing to burn to nothing for...even him. I will never let myself go through that. I don't want that. But I do love my family. You guys and my faction. Maybe some people aren't meant to have love and I am ok with that. I can be ok with making this faction great beside him and I will. But I won't allow myself to feel anything else." I shrug and swallow and look at my sketchpad. "So I made a tattoo, well a few tattoos, but this one I am about to go get will help me to remember that. I also have to finish the other one finally."

Tris looked at the drawing and smiled at it and nodded. "Why don't you wait? I know we are all supposed to go in later. Clary and Logan want all of us to get your quote on us. So we are all going to get it."

Lauren and Clary smirk at me and I laugh. "Who all is getting it?"

All the girls speak up. "All of us."

I laugh and nod "Well then I will to. Where are you getting it?"

Tris says she is getting it down her left rib, Lauren her right arm down the length of the outside along the bone that runs from wrist to elbow. Clary is getting hers in flowing script on her left back shoulder. The guys are all doing it down their legs. Shonda is even getting it the same way that Clary is.

I sit thinking for a moment and smile I already had a tattoo planned for my left inner forearm but…."Well I will do my right arm like Lauren is getting hers."

Shonda smiles and then sighs as she sits down. "You know that fights are the week after the fear sims. Then you are almost going to be finished Tali. Have you thought about where you are going to live when you finish?"

I shrug and frown. The training compound has several larger buildings that have living quarters and the basic community for the Dauntless faction.

With shops, entertainment and everything you could think of. There are also homes that are built into the surrounding land that are almost like cabins. Those are reserved for the elder members, some families and leadership with families.

"I guess that will depend on what job I am placed in. If it something that is to do with projects or running of Dauntless I will take up residence with that area. So don't worry Shonda, I won't be far if that happens just a bit more of a walk through the compound and a few elevators." I smile at my surrogate mom and she smiles brightly.

Lauren smiles too because that means I will be living near her but also I can be near for Tris, Lynn, Clary and Mar for the rest of their training.

"Where are the guys by the way?" Tris asks.

Lauren shrugs "They are around here somewhere. Hector said they were all going to meet us here at about 7pm. We are all going to go get ready at Shauna's for the night out."

I laugh and shake my head "I can't believe Zeke allowed Shauna to make a whole room into a huge closet and dressing room."

Shauna and Zeke are supposed to be getting married eventually though he hasn't proposed yet, and are allowed a two bedroom. Shauna talked Zeke into letting her turn that second bedroom into a huge dressing room. Now that there are more girls she added more tables for makeup and she keeps some of our clothes there for getting ready. It is odd to be surrounded by so many girls and getting along with them

It is fun though to go to their parties they have. Even when Eric is there I don't mind. Somehow we always end up sitting close and pressed together. Sometimes we share beers.

I have found out a lot about Eric over the past three weeks. He was from Erudite. He loves to read and he is always recommending books to me. He can be a hardass but he is loyal as shit. He takes the burden of being the asshole of Dauntless on himself. He doesn't sleep very well and I know because he has come to get me when he knew I wasn't sleeping. Taking me to the roof and we would talk. We talked about my mom and dad and their relationship. About my love of gardening, cooking, art. We have had real talks during our time in his office but then somehow we end up almost kissing or trying to touch each other and it strikes this alarm in me.

His friends Hector and Connor watch me like a hawk and consider me a little sister but Hector is also getting very close to Lauren and he has hinted that Eric has feelings for me. Maybe I could have believed that before I saw him with those girls. I don't know enough about relationships to know for sure.

We head to the dining hall and go to grab lunch and I am still working on my sketches for my tattoos. I am finished with mine and for some reason I am pushed to make one that is the masculine version of mine.

Connor comes up and leans over my shoulder to look at the drawing then leans in to give Shonda a kiss. They had started dating. Apparently he has been over the moon about her for at least two years but acted like the biggest dick around her because he didn't know what to do and always stuck a foot in it. Funny how my sister and surrogate mom are heavily and seriously involved with Eric's closest friends.

"What you got there Tal?" He asks with a frown and Shonda sits in his lap at our crowded table.

I shrug and blush as they look at each other lasciviously. Shonda scoffs at my modesty. "Only the most badass tattoo that is apparently a match to something she is getting. Show him yours Tal."

I sigh and flip the page over and Connor's eyes quirk. "Wow that is really cool. So who is the match going to?"

His eyes go hard and travel over to Peter and I sigh and shake my head. "No, I think I am going to sell it to Bud but ask him not to tell anyone that I drew it and I don't want to know who got it. I just feel it needs to be out there in the universe I guess. You know Yin and Yang."

He smirks and nods. "So you are just going to leave it up to fate on who gets a matching tattoo with you?"

I laugh with a shrug. "But it isn't matching. It has the same basic theme, but it is different and for a different area."

He nods and shrugs. "When you plan on getting this tattoo?"

Shonda smirks. "When we all go get the quote we have all adopted as our motto thanks to Tal. Tell her where you are getting it done Babe."

Connor smirks and laughs. "I said my ass at first but I think I will stick to down my ribs. So who all is getting this shit done?"

Lauren shrugs from across the table and I close up my sketchbook when I grab some cake. "All the family is apparently. Uri, Mar, Lynn, Zeke, Four, Tris, Ash, Emmett, Logan, Clary, Tal, Me, Hector, Shonda, Will….."

"Well I guess the parlor will be busy tonight then won't it?" Connor said and I frowned in thought.

"You know what guys I am going to go make my way up there and at least sell the other one and get my bigger one done. Plus I need a little work on that one I have been having done for a while. That way we can just all hit the bar after we get the quotes done." Shonda frowns and nods. Tris smiles at me and I already know she wants to go. We are also getting matching tattoos on our inner right wrist of lotus flowers for just the two of us. They symbolize rebirth and we both feel that coming here gave us that rebirth and as sisters.

I eat my cake and Connor gets up after giving Shonda a kiss and going to sit with the other leaders. I guess they are making plans for the fear sims next week. We will also be doing sparring to get ready for fights.

"Hey Tris, I think we should see about getting those tablet phones next allotment. I was talking to Eric and there are a few books I want to get he suggested. Besides there is the music we can listen to when we work out." I say as I finish my cake and drink my protein shake. We had worked out earlier so I have been trying to keep her up on the protein and diet.

Tris had come a long way in three almost four weeks. If I can't work with her then Logan and Clary do. And when Eric and Shonda started working on my nutrition they started putting her trays the same as mine. We were very close and I almost felt like she was a twin sister in some respects. Her strength was up there and her fighting was not bad at all. I was so proud of her and it just fueled me to do better and put my head in the game and forget about relationships.

Tris nodded eagerly. "Definitely, I would love to be able to listen to music when we are hitting the gym or running laps."

I nod and smile. "Sounds like a plan. Are you ready to go?"

Tris nods and we stand to leave. We pass the leader table and I feel Eric's eyes on me as we leave. Even just that can send warmth through me, but I ignore it and push it down.

As we get into the pit Tris links arms with me "What you were talking about earlier, about the being burned up was about Eric wasn't it?"

I sigh ruefully, being close meant she knew me so well. "I can't help it Tris. He scares me. Not in the way, that I like think he is going to hurt me like my dad did…but maybe not far off. I have never wanted someone like I do him. I know you hate Peter, but maybe he is the better option of the two Tris."

Tris scowls at the thought of Peter. "Do you know if he slept with those girls though?"

I shrug and frown. "No, I just know how seeing him with them made me feel. That is enough isn't it? To not want to feel that kind of pain again? I did mean what I said though Tris about wanting to give everything to my family and faction."

Tris sighs and nods "You already do Tal. Look at Ash and Emmett. Ash lost his dad and now he is a brother to you almost like Logan is. You unite people and you already give every second you can to help us all train. You never stop and take time for yourself."

I smirk as we enter the tattoo parlor and laugh "Like I am not going to enjoy what I am about to do right now."

Tris laughs and nods "Fair point Sis."

Bud does accept the design but puts it in the back. He says they always give certain regulars first run of the designs anyways. Tori takes Tris and I to the curtained room to get my thigh tattoo done and then we both get our wrist tattoos done. She works on the design I have on my abdomen into the hip, butt cheek and upper thigh of my right side and that is finally complete with dashes of color in blood red. By the time we are done and come out Bud tells me the design already sold and they had got it and left. The person had also asked for the design to take with them.

Tris looked at me and frowned. "Don't you want to know who it was?"

I shake my head emphatically. "Nope, like I said it is out in the universe now. Hopefully whoever got it understood or at least identified with why I made the design to begin with."

We walk out of the parlor and run into Eric who looks me over with a smirk. "What are you up to Lia?"

I shrug and smirk back at him. "Trouble. What about you?"

He shrugged "Probably the same. You guys coming in with that big group tonight to get the motto on you?"

I nod with a smile. "Yeah apparently almost everyone is getting it."

He nods and tilts his head "Well then I guess I will see you tonight. By the way did you give any thought to that book I suggested?"

I laugh and nod. "Yes but until Tris and I get our tablet phones that will have to wait. At least until the next allotment."

He frowns for a moment but then nods and leans closer to me "I could always lend you my copy if you want."

He leaned close enough his jacket was brushing against me and I shivered. He smirked and I glared at him. "That is ok Eric, thank you though."

Tris was starting to move away when she saw Four and I smiled and nodded to her. Eric looked behind him and saw what was going on. "Looks like you are free for a bit."

He chews on his lip and then grabs my hand and pulls me along with him. By now I am used to this and just go along. He doesn't try and kiss me anymore after I told him I was with Peter. But he does hold my hand or press close to me, sometimes even cuddling with me. He says friends can do those kinds of things and as much as I desperately want to avoid him I know I can't.

He leads me to the roof and to a spot that he has taken me to a few times. The sun will be setting over the mountains soon and it is a breathtaking view from up here. I still have my bag but I don't dare take out my sketchpad. Not around him for sure.

Eric pulls me down to sit in between his legs so my back is against his chest and pulls me close.

"You worried about Fear Sims?" He asks softly by my ear.

I lean my head against his chest and shake my head. "No, I mean not really. It isn't really a secret I invented the serum that will help to prevent damage and all that. I know in test runs it made the person not be able to remember exact details. Is that what happens?"

He sighs and nods. "Yeah, you did good with that. They still remember the emotions but not details. You will still have to work through the scenario and either control your breathing and heart or just figure out what the fear is about and solve it in the sim. When you come out you still have to recover from the general emotions though."

I nod and my mind races on what my fears could be. Somehow I know my mom and dad will be there somewhere. "Pretty much can predict my dad will be in there. I am not scared to face my fears exactly. I just don't want to see her death again."

Eric pulls me closer and kisses my temple. "I know Lia."

I sigh and curse myself for a fool for keeping up with this torture with him. For allowing Peter to treat me like a dirty secret. For a million things that I don't know how to handle.

We don't stay long because Eric's phone keeps going off and he growls. "Well, you are being demanded by the girls so you can get ready."

I laugh and nod "I was getting a bit cold. I have been cold lately in the dorm too. I need to get a better blanket and socks."

Eric hummed a little and then sighed and helped me to stand before getting up himself. He didn't let me go right away, but instead looked like he was going to kiss me. My back was against the wall and that night in the bar with that girl flashed in my mind. I frowned and pulled away.

"I better get going Eric." I mumble and pull away from him completely. I feel like a coward but I ran, literally ran from him, as fast as I could. I ran because gods help me even though I knew I would mean nothing I still wanted him physically. I could deny how much I wanted more but the physical part I could not deny.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 - Eric's POV**

The moment I saw Natalia cross that stage I wanted her. She may have had her hair up in the bun and the glasses on. But the tight midnight blue pants, with her ice blue jacket open to show her midnight blue tank on underneath topped off with her black combat boots, it all gave me a clue. She cut her hand and let the blood fall onto the coals and then whipped around with this look and smile like she was mentally flipping everyone in Erudite off right there. When she spun the knife in her hands with that delightful smile, making her seem badass but full of life and light, I was already hooked.

I shouldn't have been surprised when her and her two friends dressed exactly like her made it to the first car that members and very few dauntless-born make it to much less transfers, but damned if I wasn't.

Then her fire on the roof even when she was sticking up for the fucking stiff just pulled me in and I knew I needed to make her mine. My desire for her from that moment on was of epic proportions and it kept mounting.

Even her fucking muttering that she was going to fuck my world up and looking for all the world like she was about to do just that turned me on. It wasn't just because I love a challenge. It was her fire and this spirit she had. She is this badass, fierce, beautiful, smart, loving, funny woman and I am sitting here on this roof wondering how I fell so hard and fast for her.

That first day alone I felt like tearing Erudite apart for her and what they had done to her. Only Four stopping me and promising we could go after her dad and finally get changes made to the system to protect others had stopped me. I had already claimed her in my mind before she walked into the clinic but after that there was no other option.

That night at the bar I wanted her with every fiber of my being but I realized that moment in the clinic that I didn't just want her body. I wanted a life and with someone like her. No not someone, I wanted her. Her life had been hard and the Intel we kept getting just indicated how bad it was. She could have been cold, hard and a bitch but she was golden literally from her hair to her eyes and skin. She was a light to my dark and I have fallen hard in these weeks. Hell the first week really.

So I try to stop myself from taking it too physical but it doesn't stop the desire. I tried to hook a few times to get some release so maybe I won't push things when I am with her. So I could control my body. But as soon as I walked out of the door with those girls though, I just fucking know it wouldn't work. I didn't want them. I hadn't had a hook up for a good year and a half before Lia came and the only reason I tried was because my body was an entire hard on for her.

Now she had just run from me faster than I had ever thought possible and I am left up here cold because I am not sure what the fuck happened.

All I can think is that it is because she is in love with that fucking punk Peter. Which I doubt because of things I have heard from Connor and Hector, or she is scared of our attraction.

I run a hand through my hair and look out over the view. It isn't just attraction for me and I have to find a way to get her to see this, to accept it. To get to know me without whatever pull our bodies have as they keep getting in the way.

Something is going to have to be done because I am about to be working with her for a hell of a lot of hours in the day. She doesn't know it, though she might suspect, but she has been in leadership training from pretty much her first day. We had to finalize her testing and evaluated her projects that were made for Dauntless, as well as her extensive martial and weapon skill.

From the file we were able to pull and the Intel we gathered we know that Erudite were creating some kind of internal army. Talia was being trained to head it. I don't know how far they got, but I have my suspicions. I think Logan was right there with her too.

She wears a necklace with five dog tags and when she gets determined, or when that incident with Erudite is brought up she plays with it. As if it is a talisman against pain and her strength. This makes me want to protect her and get her to trust me even more.

I sigh and turn around scowling, we have the celebration tonight and even I am getting her quote on me. Might as well. I have a few other things of hers too not that she fucking knows about that either. That will be a conversation when we do make it to bed together.

My mind races about a few other things and I know I have a few errands to run before the tattoo parlor and bar tonight. Then we have capture to do at ass early in the morning.

That I am looking forward, I just hope Lia is on my fucking team.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 - Lia's POV**

There was a metal clanging on the pipes as well as along the beds and yells for everyone to wake up. I looked at my watch and it wasn't even 2am on Saturday…no Sunday morning. I was actually surprised to see that it was Four with Eric and they were waking everyone up. Eric had taken to coming in randomly and waking just me up and making me go do extra training or whatever else he wanted to do. The only times I knew I wouldn't be woken up before dawn was when Peter would crawl into bed with me after everyone had already gone to sleep.

That wasn't happening very much since I had asked him not to anymore. He still did it here and there but not as often anymore. Sometimes he would just come over and cuddle with me for a bit and then go back to his own bed. Last night after my group had all come back from the bar had been one of those times he had crawled into the bed with me.

"Wake up everyone you have ten minutes to get dressed and be in The Pit!" Four yelled out. I looked to the side of my bed and frowned when I realized Peter had gotten up and moved to his own bed at some point again just like he did every time he would climb in bed with me.

I sighed and frowned and looked over at him as he was waking up and yawning. I didn't expect him to look at me or acknowledge me since he never did. But I couldn't stop hoping that he would. To give me something beyond what he was showing so far. We hadn't done anything other than cuddle and kiss a bit and I was not about to give myself to him fully until he stopped treating me like a dirty secret.

I had some thinking I needed to do because I was the one that was allowing him to treat me this way constantly. I also had to ask myself why I was allowing this when I couldn't deny I felt something for Eric. I just keep telling myself it is purely physical and I saw where a relationship without love or caring led to for my mother. Plus there were Eric and his other girls and my resolve to just stop with the relationship shit.

I was muttering under my breath as I whipped out clothes to change into and dropped a stack of clothes on the ground by accident.

"Fuck!" I yelled angrily. Molly and Drew started laughing and making fun of me. Peter kept quiet but then joined in when Molly kept elbowing him. I felt like destroying shit but didn't. I just bent down to pick the things up.

Eric came up to me and bent down to help me but also handed me the cargo pants, my long sleeved t-shirt and then growled next to me "I swear to gods if you let him make you cry I will drag you to the training room and kick your ass on the mat. Take a long sleeved jacket Lia." He commanded me.

I had gotten used to his commanding me around and invading my personal space. "Yes Si…Eric" I mumbled and he stood and moved out of the room.

I relayed the information of what to wear to Tris and she picked out the same things. I braided my hair as we walked to the pit and there we met with the other initiates and our family. We were a family to be honest, especially Tris and I. And everyone getting those tattoos last night just kind of cemented it. Hell even Eric got the motto tattoo though I didn't see it because I couldn't handle the idea of being in a room with him without a shirt and not attacking him.

Tris was still friendly with Chris but we all found Chris to be abrasive and nosey so she didn't really hang out with us. Will however was a pretty frequent part of our hangouts as he hung out less with Al and Chris.

After we all got to the meeting place, Four and Eric didn't even say anything but just walked away leading us from The Pit and we followed. We had to run for the train and Eric didn't even let me try and get on by myself. He just reached down and lifted me up and held me close to him for a few minutes.

"You better be on my team Lia." He said in a threatening manner with his lips against my ear and I sighed. He was already pissed and now I had to worry about something I couldn't control.

"Then pick me before Four does." I growl back at him not even caring he would use that as an excuse to make me do extra training or give some bullshit job in his office.

He listened to me for once and I was his first pick. Other than Ash, Emmett, Logan, Uri, and Lynn none of our group was on his team although Edward did make it in.

Eric told Four they could get off last and Four tried using reverse psychology on him to have Eric tell him to get off first. I had scowled at Four and Eric eyed me and got the picture from my pointed looks. We got off first and Four scowled back at me upset that I had spoiled part of his plan.

When our team had jumped off Eric was smirking at Four being ruffled and not getting his way. I was smirking because Eric had shot Molly in the knee with the neuro-stim dart. He had still picked her, Drew and Peter though.

Peter had fallen behind and let his friends go on ahead then tried to pull me to him for a hug and kiss. I had pulled away and muttered we needed to catch up with the group. He frowned but nodded and then went to join his friends again.

Uri looked at me and I saw the worry in his eyes when he fell back to see what Peter wanted.

"Are you dating Peter?" He asked quietly while we walked at the back and Eric walked behind us. I knew he was listening and was just pretending he wasn't. Just like he had seen what happened with Peter right before that. I know because I could feel his glaring from behind me and had heard his muttering under his breath.

"I'm not in a relationship with Peter." I snapped at Uri, not meaning to.

"Really? Because anytime he acts like a dick you look like he just gut punched you. You don't do that with anyone else. You give them back just as good as you got or you kick their ass. You don't do that with him, and when his friends aren't around he acts like he is in love with you. I don't like it Talia…that isn't you. Don't let him do that shit to you. And Zeke has said he has seen..." He stops when he sees my face as my eyes snap to his."You are like a sister to us Talia and I hate that he is hurting you." He pulls me in for a side hug.

"Look I suck at talking about feelings and I have no clue about relationships. I am just trying to figure shit out. All I know is, maybe I am not meant for relationships Uri. Maybe my faction should be my only relationship. I don't have the best fucking track record with men apparently so. I don't know maybe I should just say fuck it." I shrug.

Uri frowns deeply. "You deserve better, that's all I'm saying. I know you don't think you are Talia. But you're fucking gorgeous and there are several guys that would give their left nut to be with you. Hell I have several friends that keep asking me to set them up with you. Just think about what I said…okay?"

I scoff at him in disbelief. "Yeah I am so fucking gorgeous that it inspires guys to either look at me like they want to kill me, fuck me and leave me or they just run away from me. Or there are the guys that act like they care but…" I stop and shake my head "you know what it doesn't even fucking matter. I am the job Uri. I stand watch. I can't get involved in relationships." I cannot even help the bitterness in my voice.

He looks at me "Then they aren't worth shit Tali. You are beautiful, smart and a bad ass. If they can't see that then fuck them."

I hug him and smile "Let's go shoot some people and cause lots of pain."

 _Eric_

 _He was in her fucking bed again and I couldn't do shit about it. What she saw in the little shit was beyond me. He was a fake as shit player and he was just hurting her. Anytime he cowed before his friends and started in on her I wanted to rip his throat out, but I wanted her to get her shit together more. She was better than that and if it were anyone else she would have kicked the ever loving crap out of them. But him she just took it from. I know part of it was her just fighting what was between us. The more I came down on Peter the closer she drew to him._

 _I couldn't jeopardize the plans leadership had for her with my feelings for her and actions, so I tried to keep that shit out of our extra training sessions that were necessary. It was hard to do because it was the only time I could be close to her. My body just moved on its own sometimes. I couldn't even get release somewhere else or with someone else because as soon as I would leave the bar with some chick I realized it wouldn't work. The woman I wanted was in that dorm and possibly some punk was next to her._

 _I would be smug about her brushing him off angrily just now if it wasn't for having to hear her talking to Uriah. Did she really think that is all I wanted from her or that she wasn't worth more? She was fucking beautiful and beyond amazing but she didn't see that shit. I was going to have to do something different because this wasn't working for either of us anymore and it was just hurting her._

" _Fucking hell Lia, how did I fall so hard for you?" I mutter under my breath._

When we got far enough away Eric called for the plan and everyone started to argue about what they wanted to do. But no one was trying to read what Four was going to do. They were going to cost us this by their dick comparing stare downs and bitchy comments.

I lost patience "None of that is going to work. Four picked his team to be fast meaning he is going all offensive."

I felt Eric tense beside me and curse because he hadn't picked up on that.

Uri smiled at me "What's the plan then Tali?"

Molly glared at me "Who cares what fucking plan she comes up with..."

I give her a cold look and finger my dart gun and she shuts up. Uri smirks and tells me to go ahead and Lynn not so subtly holds her gun pointed at Molly.

I smile and shrug "We look for a choke point to use. That is the best option for the best defense. You can put less than five people into and it will be even better defended than a higher vantage point would. Then you create a distraction point so that Four's team will think they are heading to the correct spot for the flag. That you can get away with a two man group. The rest split and go after their flag after we get high enough to scout it out."

Peter smiles at me "That is a damn good plan Tal."

Eric glares at Peter "No one asked you initiate. The plan is a good one Lia, it will work." He says that last in a softer tone with pride and affection in his eyes.

I was a bit surprised that Eric had used his 'private' nickname for me but he was also looking at me with pride. I had worked hard at learning the tactics he had asked me to learn but I had also learned a few on my own. Choke points were one I learned more about after I read about King Leonidas and the Spartans while still in Erudite.

Lynn climbed up high and picked up on the spot the flag was being hidden then found us a choke point as well. It was in the middle of two tall hills, almost reminiscent of that mountain pass the Spartans used. It had a wide opening but that went to a really narrow point and then had a dead end.

Eric, Uri, Astrid and I all took up defense in the choke point. Ash, Drew and Molly went to create the distraction at a building to the front and left of our real place of hiding. Logan, Edward and Lynn each headed up their own split up team and went after the flag. Ash and Edward had whispered in my ear that he saw some friendly fire happening soon and had given a wicked grin in Drew and Molly's direction before they headed out. Edward could be cool now that he was in advanced training and wasn't so wrapped up in Mayra.

I hid the flag at the back of our spot putting the flag slightly under my jacket. I moved up towards the front but hid in the shadows and Eric took up one of the front spots with me. Uri and Astrid were in the back hiding since I wanted any of the other team to see me and Eric before them.

We didn't talk but Eric would throw me military hand signs every once in awhile giving instructions or updates. He had drilled those into me during the extra sessions along with light signals and the tactics he suggested to add to my collection. Not that I didn't already know them but I had to hide a lot of shit about myself.

When the attack came Four had led the offensive himself with four other guys. He had severely weakened himself defensively but had also seen through the distraction part. I knew we needed to last a bit longer so our team could get the flag, but Eric saw Four and lost it and went on the attack.

We had taken out all of Four's people but two and I cussed when I saw Eric get careless and leave parts of himself exposed. He got hit in the leg with a Neuro dart then when he fell to the ground got one in the chest. I didn't even think when I saw that happen, my body just moved on it's because it was some instinct to protect him.

I ran firing off my dart gun and hit the other person with Four taking him out first. I leaped into the air and into a somersault in midair then fired downwards while I was still airborne with my head just above Four's and my feet straight up. I hit Four in the top of his shoulder twice causing him to drop his gun. I let myself continue with the somersault so that I landed on the ground and dropped to my knees immediately firing off another shot at the person I saw hiding in the shadows behind Four. Four had been running interference to give them a chance to break through by using himself as a shield and distraction.

I shot one more into Four after I saw I had dropped Tris, pissed he had made me do that to her. I kept my gun trained on Four and picked his up then walked backwards to Eric, bent down and yanked the two darts from his leg and chest.

"Get up Eric!" I yelled pissed off.

He got up and would have started boasting until I scowled at him "Just had to let him goad you into it, didn't you? You couldn't just ignore his taunting you into revealing yourself and getting shot?" I snarled.

Four laughed but stopped when I shot him again. "Dammit, Talia those fucking hurt!"

I heard shouts that we had won then our flare that it was true and then threw a disgusted look at the two of them before I went over to Tris and helped her up.

Once she was up I pointed my dart gun at Eric and he scowled at me. "Do it and you will have punishment tonight instead of having …."

I didn't even let him finish I just fired off two darts into his chest then stalked off to the train tracks to wait for everyone. I dropped the guns and gear into the bags and stood muttering and freezing without my jacket. Fucking city terrain was good for capture but fuck if I wasn't freezing with fall ending.

I hated that my instinct had gone into overdrive when I saw Eric go down. I hated that I wanted to protect him so bad. I hated that he couldn't let his shit with Four go. I hated that Four knew how to push his buttons and did. I hated that I wanted Eric so bad and that my body betrayed me anytime he teased me. I hated that Peter, my first boyfriend ever, would even treat me like I meant nothing to him. I hated that I didn't end things with him because I wanted to be with someone...or because I wanted someone else and was scared of that.

I hated being woken up at fucking 2 am for something so asinine especially after having just got to fucking bed and they KNEW we would be doing capture and that was what they fuckers were smirking about.

Everything about today just really sucked in general for me. I should be happy and proud we won and I had come up with strategy. It would give me a major boost in the rankings and that was always good. I just couldn't bring myself to be happy about any of it.

I groaned when a thought struck me and I scowled. I also hated knowing that I had revealed more of my abilities than I meant to with an aerial attack and my gymnastics. Eric wasn't going to fucking forget that anytime soon and I just knew he would use it to start some kind of training with it.

On the way back Uri, Lynn and Mar stopped Clary, Logan, Tris and I from joining the others in getting on the train and heading back to the compound. They had us follow along and the others ran ahead with them as I walked behind content to sort of enjoy the cold of the early morning and mull things over. I was pulled back by my hand up against someone hard. Stopping me from going forward and I knew instantly when his hand touched mine who it was.

I looked up into Eric's eyes and waited for him to yell at me. He didn't, he just kept my hand and then we kept following the others.

"Do you know where they are taking you Lia?" Eric asked as he walked with me.

"No, Uri just said it is a dauntless tradition, do you know?" He nodded and scowled at me before putting my jacket back on me.

"You left that back there and yeah but I have only done it once before now." He replied quietly as our fingers twined together.

That was another thing he did a lot, he would hold my hand or find excuses in training to touch me. Sometimes I could tell it was purely to get a reaction out of me and other times, like now, I couldn't figure out his motives.

Eric didn't do holding hands or any kind of PDA's. He had hookups that were never with the same person. I had seen him leaving The Pit or bars with girls before and even then he wasn't holding a hand or touching them. He just expected them to follow him and they fucking did. He got them hooked with a kiss or a look and then they were gone.

"What is it we are doing and why haven't you done it again?" I ask frowning wondering why I didn't just punch him and stalk off. Or just demand we keep it professional, because I felt like I was drawing around him.

"You'll see here in a few minutes. And I was busy with trying to become a leader and then trying to keep Jeanine from killing us all with her bullshit. Then I just didn't think about it again." He frowned.

"Why are you doing it now?" I asked quietly.

"Because you are and I am fucking incapable of leaving you alone apparently. I should be kicking your ass for shooting me twice with the damn neuro darts. Don't think I am going to forget that shit you pulled off with the gymnastics and the firing the gun in midair. You need to stop holding back Talia." I had shivered from a cold wind that whipped around us and he pulled me close to his side after he took off his own jacket and put it around my shoulders.

"I was pissed because you got shot Eric! I just reacted! Besides you shouldn't let Four do that to you, you are the leader here not Four. Your point has been proven. He does that shit because you let it get to you." I said frowning.

"Really, because everyone still seems to have a raging hard on for him." He growled.

"That's funny because I have heard things and they stopped asking Four to be a leader after the first time. You accepted and he didn't. People might not like your attitude and you can be a scary dick at times but they do see all the changes you have made in Dauntless that have been for the better. Everyone also knows now you got Amar and George to safety instead of turning them over to Jeanine. They know some of the details about taking down the leaders when the factionless attacked, that you led the team. Maybe you should start listening for the good about yourself when people mention your name and not just the bad." I scowl hating that I knew there is a good man there that loves his faction but he still had to fight against what he had to do to save it. I hated that he had the burden of it.

He pulls me along faster when the wind gets harder and we soon enter the building. I take off his jacket and he rolls his eyes and puts it back on then takes my hand again and pulls me into the elevator with him. He pushes the button for the 100th floor and pulls me so that he holds me from behind. I lean against his chest and he leans into my neck, resting his forehead against my shoulder.

"You haven't been sleeping again." I say worriedly and my brow furrows. I may fight what I felt but I hated to see this burden on him.

"Too much shit to do and too much on my mind. I see you have been sleeping fine." He mutters bitterly.

"Not really, have been having nightmares about my mom's death again. I guess I dread the fear sims more than I thought." I whisper and he sighs and kisses my neck softly before the elevator doors open and we walk out onto the roof and have to climb a flimsy looking ladder up on section to where everyone else is.

Zeke looks shocked at first when Eric comes in with me but looks even more shocked when Eric tells him we both will be going at the same time. I frown wondering what they are talking about.

Tris had just gotten strapped into a harness and I smiled. I started bouncing up and down when I saw it was going to be zip-lining. I grinned from ear to ear. Eric shook his head smiling and pulled me closer to him when the cold wind had me shaking. He wrapped his arms around me and opened his jacket so I could press my face to his chest but I was laughing in excitement and his chest rumbled against my cheek with his quiet laughter.

Zeke motioned us forward and chuckled when Eric got himself set up but wouldn't let him touch my harness. He kept checking mine to make sure it was secure and finally I got impatient and told Zeke to let us go.

"Lia…" Eric yelled at me and then pulled me close making his arms into a steel harness of its own. My back was against his chest and I put my arms out to the side and grinned as we zipped along, going into wrecked buildings and alongside of them. I caught our reflection in the windows of buildings as we passed. My breath caught at the beauty of dawn approaching and the city, mountains and lakes spread out before us.

We got to the end and I heard him laughing along with me. He pulled the brake and he shouted for me to release first. I pouted but did what he commanded and was caught into the arms of the waiting Dauntless. As soon as I was safe on the ground he released and was caught too. He had a big smile and the other Dauntless cheered him on and clapped his back.

He was still smiling as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him not even waiting for me to look for Tris or anyone else. We rode the train back by ourselves and he pushed me against the wall of the car looking down at me for a bit then he kissed me softly and flicked his tongue against my lips asking for me to let him in, then shivered when he felt my tongue ring against his tongue. His hands moved to the sides of my face cradling it gently before he pulled back.

Our foreheads are pressed together as he breathes in through is nose and out through his mouth but doesn't let go of his gentle hold of my face. "When did you get your tongue pierced Lia?" I feel his forehead furrowed against mine.

"Right after shopping that first night when I got my dermals, gauges and nose pierced. Why?" I ask frowning.

"Did you get it for someone?" He asks through a clenched jaw.

"No, anything I do to my body is for me. I didn't even know what tongue piercings were for until Shauna explained it to me when they found out I had gotten one. But like with the dermals and my tattoos I got it because I had wanted it for as long as I could remember." I shrug.

I feel him give a sigh of relief before he pulls back and looks at me. "You have tattoos? Where? I haven't seen them, besides the lotus and the quote."

I blush and shake my head. "A few of them aren't somewhere that I can show off really."

His eyebrow raises and he gets that pissed off look again. I give him a small smile and sigh. "One is on my right abdomen and into that same hip, buttock and thigh area. The other is on the other thigh. Then I have some down my spine."

He smirks at me "You're going to show them to me then."

Again with the command not even trying to play at asking me, but I am not just about to drop my pants and show him so I shake my head "No, I don't think I will be. The only people that have seen the lower leg portions are Tori, George and Tris. Maybe if I wear something backless again you can see the spine one."

He searches my eyes, probably trying to see if I am lying but doesn't find anything because it is the truth. He shrugs "You will eventually Lia." He promises.

I scowl at him and have finally had it. "Eric why are you here with me like this? Why do you say and do things like this? Because I know you don't normally. I've seen you leaving the bars and The Pit with girls and they are gorgeous. I have seen you press them up against walls like this and kiss them and leave with them. Is that all you want from me Eric? To be like those girls from those bars?" I can't even help the hurt in my voice and I hate myself for it.

His face turned stormy "Why do you think I am Lia?"

I shrug, my face scrunched up and I refuse to look at him because I know my eyes are full of pain. "I don't know Eric. I have never been in any type of relationship before until Peter. And all I get from him are some kind of mind games. I get you may desire me Eric but I don't understand anything else you do. If you want to fuck me, just tell me. But know I am not one of those girls that you get from the bars Eric. I won't follow you like a damn dog…and I…."

He grasped my face and made me look at him "I'm not Peter so don't compare me with that shithead again. I hate that you think you aren't beautiful because you are. Do you know how bad I want to beat the shit out of him for making you feel the way you do. But you choose to be with him Lia and I can't make you do anything you don't want to do." He kissed me fiercely and then pulled away.

"If all I wanted was sex Lia I could have had you already. Those girls you see me with nothing ever ends up happening with them. Not for lack of me trying though. But when I get to that point there is only one person I see or want and it isn't them. The rest of the questions you have, you are going to need to figure out yourself. But I can tell you it won't happen until you tell that scum you call a boyfriend to take a hike."

He gently stroked my cheek and just looked into my eyes letting me make the next move. I pulled him to me by wrapping my arms around his neck. He gave me control and let me lead in the kiss and I explored his mouth and lips with my tongue before we broke apart. When we did, I did so reluctantly. He pulled me against his chest and held me. I could feel both of our muscles trying to take more from each other, but we were holding back.

A little while later he sat on the floor of the train and pulled me into his lap. I think we both dozed off but when I wake up next I am in my bed at the dorm and no one is around.

 _Eric_

 _I let us ride the train for another hour at least. I didn't want to move from this position with her cradled in my arms, her own arms wrapped around me and her face pressed into my neck. Every once in awhile she would sigh and press a kiss to the bare skin there. I hope I had gotten through to her with what I had told her but I wouldn't count on it. Her fucking father had done a great damn job in making her self-image be fucking almost zero. Not to mention her only example of a relationship with her parents. Not that I had room to talk but at least I got to see Max and Daria._

 _I still need to figure out what I can do to let her get to know me outside of our training and without what our bodies want. When my tablet phone goes off with a message from fucking Four saying I better bring her back now I have two thoughts. One is that Lia is right, I have been holding on to that bullshit grudge for too long. I let him get to me when he chooses to do so. Which is admittedly less often now that he knows the truth about Amar and my real involvement with Jeanine. It didn't make a difference to him so why should it me._

 _The other thought was something she had mentioned herself about wanting to be able to read and listen to music. She was going to try and get her own tablet phone with the next credits allotment. I could get her one and then I could use that to let her get to know me, and me her. It would for sure prevent our physical desires for each other getting in the way._

 _With those thoughts I sent out two messages, one to my friend Hector telling him to pick everything up for me and meet me at my place. The second was to Four and letting him know I would be bringing her back and that we needed to talk._

 _It was time for new beginnings all around. Now I just needed to get the girl I wanted to start that next chapter with to realize she wanted it too._


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: some how chapter 18 got posted twice. I apologize and am correcting now.**

Chapter 17 - Lia's POV

I slowly get up and look at the clock and see it is about lunch time. I get out of bed and see I am still mostly dressed except my boots are put away as is my jacket. When I opened my locker to pull out my vitamins and other pills for the day I had found a thick fleece blanket, a bunch of thick socks, a blood red hoodie sweater that has a kangaroo front pocket and a box with a note from Eric telling me it was all set up and there was already music and books downloaded. I frowned and opened the box and found a tablet/phone with wireless earbuds and an armband that would hold the phone for me and allow me to have it on me while working out.

It was only Saturday evening that I had mentioned I wanted to get the tablet phone so I could read books but also for music when I was on the treadmill or when I couldn't sleep. I had also mentioned about being cold and, now one day later Eric had gotten me a phone and things to keep warm.

I couldn't even try and give it back because he would just get pissed and would still make me keep it. Then there was that part of me that thought of last night and what he said. I thought about how he was trying to take care of me and it should make things easier but the hurricane of my mind and feelings just keeps whirling.

I sighed and powered it on and went through everything. I already knew his information would be programmed in so I sent him the first of what would be many messages between us.

'Thank you for the tablet phone. You shouldn't have bought it though Eric. I could have gotten with the next allotment. Regardless the music and books are amazing and I can't wait to work out and be able to listen to music again. Did you get any sleep?'-Talia

'Wow, you aren't going to fucking argue for once? You are welcome and it would have cost you the entire month's allotment so that wouldn't work. Besides the ones you could have gotten are a rip off. What is sleep?'-Eric

'I only argue when what you are saying makes no sense. And I hope it doesn't take that much because Tris and I still have to get one for her and it is going to suck for us not to have credits next month. You should rest today since we don't have training and you have no one to torture.'-Talia

'Of course you need to get one for…Tris. And I may not have training to go to but I have a desk full of paperwork and am still contemplating making you do that punishment for the darts you put in me.-Eric

'Holy Shit, you said her name…well typed her name. Has hell frozen over? She is pretty much the closest thing I have to a sister and I am always going to take care of her first. It's just who I am. You really should get some sleep Eric. I am worried about you too.'-Talia

'Good to hear. And yeah I am coming to figure that out about you. Go to Helo's store near the parlor. I am sure he might have something for you two.'-Eric

'Eric….you don't have to buy me things you know. It was you wasn't it…that first day I was here?'-Talia

'I know I don't have to, and yes it was. Lia I have already told you, it is more for me. Whether or not you believe it is up to you.'-Eric

Sighing I read that for a while, just sitting there looking at it and wondering what to do and what to think.

I couldn't help the smile on my face from our conversation. I could almost see the smirk on his face when I said I was worried about him. I can't believe I admitted that to him even if it was true. I shook off my thoughts and got ready for the day and to find everyone.

I dressed in casual clothes and went to find my friends. No one said anything about how I got to bed but Tris later told me she saw Eric carry me in and take my shoes and jacket off me before he covered me and kissed my head. I think she knew I didn't want to think about everything that happened with Eric after I had told her the events from that night. She was used to my thought processes and let me digest things on my own.

Later that day we had gone to get Tris a tablet phone as well only to find that Helo had one all ready for Tris with the exact same accessories. Eric had sent us there knowing he was paying for it too. We also found out that apparently we had more credits than we felt we should have. We knew arguing with any of it was pointless so we thanked the clerk again and asked them to thank whoever it was that bought it. By his smile he knew I had already figured out exactly who had bought this one too.

We decided to treat ourselves and went to one of the movie showings in the theatre The Pit had. Later that day we hit up the gym and listened to our music as we cycled through the equipment stations for our daily workout. Then we used the book feature when we took our laundry to the laundry room next to the dorm.

My phone alerted me to a message and I smirked when I saw Eric's name pop up.

'Enjoying the tablet?'-Eric

'Of course, I got that book you recommended. You should get the one I recommended. Unless fantasy isn't your speed.'-Talia

'Oh I have plenty of fantasies Lia'-Eric

I started to blush and he wasn't even near me.

'Relax, I can feel your red face from here Lia. It is a pretty simple one. I have mentioned it before you know. In my office…'-Eric

I frowned thinking back trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about and then I remembered. I blushed again because it had been when I had lost control of my body and initiated, well almost trying to fuck right there. Eric had stopped me and pulled back panting. He looked me in my eyes and said the only way that was happening was after two things happened.

One that I realized I could do better than that 'pussy'. And two we wouldn't be a hookup. We would be more. I don't know what more means to him though.

My forehead furrows and I shrug.

'I think I know the incident you are talking about but I still don't know what you meant by the second part Eric. I can't read minds.'-Talia

'Ok, then let me make this plain Lia. You are not a hookup, not even a girlfriend. When you come to my bed Lia, and you will, it will be as one thing Mrs. Coulter... or the future one.'-Eric

I think I made a choking sounds because Tris came over to me and patted my back and crouched in front of me her forehead furrowed.

"Tali, what's wrong?" Tris whispered.

I shook my head because people were near, my eyes pleading with her.

She nodded and sat next to me and gave me a moment to think but Eric didn't.

'Lia, don't fucking freak out. I am telling you what I want but I can't force you into anything. You wanted to know what I want from you and it isn't just about fucking you, never has been. You figure out what you want baby.'-Eric

He was right I did need to figure things out. Things just kept getting more confusing on both fronts and at times I felt like I was going to snap from the yo-yoing I got from the two of them.

When Peter was with his friends they would completely disappear from the map if we weren't training. They didn't even eat in the dining hall with everyone else most times. I had no clue what they were doing or anything about them really. Peter told me things about his family and his home life. He had been abused to some degree as well by his father. He said that besides noticing how gorgeous I was, he had seen my scars and known. We bonded over that but he still thought his dad was right about some things. His dad still had a hold on him even though he was no longer part of the same faction. I had my suspicions that Molly was somehow involved in that. But he never acted like he wanted to talk about that and I didn't push it. Peter and I had been sparring but that was stopped when Eric started becoming pretty volatile about it and then made it something we weren't allowed to do without permission. No one was going to give me permission to spar against him. Mostly Peter and I had to sneak off from both of our friends and went to the theatre or sat on the roof. But as training got more intense we even stopped spending time together that much.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 - Lia's POV**

Dauntless wasn't making cuts but that didn't mean everyone was cut out for the warrior faction and Al was showing signs he was one of those people. He whined a lot, cried at night and always complained about how pointless things were. It really just got old fast and even Tris wasn't sticking up for him as much. Chris thought of initiation as some kind of social gathering and when we offered to help with her training she would blow it off.

Will had at first joined her but quickly lost interest in her after he saw how shallow she could be at times. She moved on to a Dauntless member and was always running off to be with him. Will had found a Dauntless-born initiate named Kia that was probably Erudite divergent with how intelligent she was. He adored her and they were always together usually hanging out with her friends. But if not then they hung out with us.

A few days after capture, the advanced training group was given off days because we were starting a new stage. Zeke and Shauna liked to have parties at their apartment, and when they did then both groups of friends got together to hang out. Eric even came to some of those parties since his friends came too. I am sure everyone could feel the tension between us when either of us used whatever excuse we could get to be close to each other. It was times like that the difference between how I was with Eric and how I was with Peter were even more obvious. The difference between how my friends were with Eric and Peter also couldn't be ignored. I just always put off thinking about it.

We were a pretty drama free group for the most part so there were hardly any times when things got tense. Except for when Chris would invite herself and then she would stare daggers at Will and Kia.

I was sitting on a chair that Eric had pulled close to his and we were playing Candor or Dauntless. Chris was already working my nerves and she was leaning against a wall with a drink in her hand. I could see her mind turning as she glared at Kia and Will, I could read it in her body language. I knew what she was going to do and the moment she moved and I was already un-coiling to strike. She meant to toss her drink in Kia's face and then punch her. But she ended up on the ground with her arm around her back and me just moments from popping it out of socket and my boot pressed into neck and windpipe while my other leg pinned her lower part. My other hand had her neck in a pressure point so she couldn't move shit.

"You are just fucking up big time Chris. Between your shit attitude to training and your just shit attitude, you just keep digging your own grave. From the moment you opened your gods damn mouth to insult a superior I have wanted to fuck your world up. But I have tolerated your shit just a little bit too much because I love Tris and she tolerates you. You just fucked up one to many times. You are no longer welcome here. You will not go after any of my fucking family or friends and if you do you will fucking wish I had crushed your fucking trachea like I so gods damn want to do right now. I am going to release the pressure point and the hold on your air supply and this is what is going to happen, so listen up. You are going to apologize to Kia, Will, Shauna and Zeke…and then you get the fuck out of my family's house. Now blink twice bitch if you understand me." My tone was deadly soft and you could hear her gasping for breath and the pain from the exertion I was putting on her shoulder socket. It was absolutely quiet in the apartment. But I was focused on everything about her. I was restraining myself from crushing her right there. You don't mess with my family. I had leaned down to see if she responded with the blinks and she did. I let up so she could get air again and move slightly.

Chris gasped loudly and groaned. "Sorry.."

"Not good enough, sorry to who?" I use the same voice and apply just a bit more pressure on her arm.

"I am sorry Kia, Will, Shauna and Zeke. I won't ever bother you again." She cried.

In one fluid motion I stood and lifted myself up and her along with me. I know I was still coiling as if to strike because I could feel her bunching up. "Think about trying to head butt me bitch and see how fucking lucky you were just then. I promise you, you will wish I had just killed you." There was no anger in my voice. I was making a promise and one I would fully keep. I feel her shudder at my words and then she wilts in resignation.

I walk her to the door where Zeke is holding it open with a hard look. He gets a look at my face and takes her and walks her out.

As soon as she is out I frown and blow out a pent up aggression breath. I am still feeling it badly. My body is vibrating with it. "Fuck….Shauna…sorry about that. I moved before I thought."

I look up and all around are faces of amusement and awe. Logan is frowning.

"Tali, you need to go work it out on the bags I can see it. Look at your body shaking Tal." He stood walking towards me slowly trying to talk to me in a soothing voice. Seeing in my eyes I am in a state where only fighting or physical exertion will ease it.

I started breathing and paced a bit nodding. "Yeah I don't know. I need to do something for fucking sure. Haven't felt like that since…."

Logan nodded and he was about to walk out with me when all of a sudden Eric was there. His eyes were a mixture of amusement and being pissed. He took my arm and started walking me. "I got this Logan. You guys enjoy your night. Apparently Lia has been holding back more than I fucking thought."

I sigh and Four looks at me scowling and growls. I try to defend myself and play it off as being instinct or something. "It was just fucking insti…

"Lia, don't. I know what I saw and now you get to do it again…with me. And then you are going to have to break out of it. Now get your shit we are going to go get changed and go to the training room." Eric's voice was as soft as mine and I knew there was no objecting.

Shauna gave me a hug to let me know she was ok. Ash though looked like he was going to try and take Eric on until Connor leaned over and started talking to him.

I got my things and Eric walked me to the dorm then left me to change before he came back and off we went.

An hour later and we had gone into full on spar mode. I had to admit I fucking loved it. I didn't hold back punches but I did hold back certain moves. It was always like this with us when we would spar. He could be vicious and not hold back on his attacks on me. Not as in vicious trying to kill me, he just pushed me hard. He didn't care if it was in a one on one session or in training with everyone else. He showed everyone just how brutal he could be in training. He was hard on me but so was Four. They both expected and pushed me harder than all the others. Tris was a close second though and I think that was because of Four expecting just as much from her because of their relationship. I had heard the whispers about how Eric would look at me or touch me at times. Same with Four and Tris but all of those stopped when the others got a look at just how hard they both were on us.

We were circling each other and my tank had come off as I was sweating. He was too but he hadn't taken shirt off. He was grinning at me as he came at me again with a flurry of jabs, shin kicks and tried to grapple me.

I dodged, ducked, jabbed into his sciatic nerves repeatedly, then launched into some of my kicks that I hadn't shown him before.

His face darkened because now he knew I had more moves. "Talia I am going to fucking kill you if you keep holding back! How can I fucking help you if you hold this shit back!" He caught one of my kicks and spun me to the ground and pinned me.

"Did you show everything you had to your instructors Eric? Everything?" I growled.

"That was different gods dammit because of all the shit going on." Eric scowled down at me

"Look, I will try Eric. Years of programming…." I trail off and turn my head to the side and he lets up a bit.

Eric sighs and looks down at me "I wish you would talk to me baby. I want to help you Lia. I need to help you. And I know you belong here more than anyone I know."

I don't say anything because I can't. There is just too much shit that was agreed to be kept hidden. I have three others to protect and I can't talk about it.

Eric must have seen the pain in my eyes because he lets me up and pulls me to my feet. "Do you feel calm enough now Lia?" Eric cupped my cheek and stroked it gently.

I nodded and looked at the watch. It was about 11pm and we would be reporting for Fear Sims the next morning. I frowned and he leaned in and kissed my forehead. "You will be fine tomorrow. They are going to see how many fears total you have and then start trying to run you through them."I nod but I am not convinced. "Lia, can I see the back tattoo please?"

I look into his eyes and they are soft as he looks at me. It isn't a demand but a request. I nod and turn around. My hair was already up in a bun so he just had to move the sports bra for some of it.

I feel his fingers running over the symbols until he gets to one of them and then he stops and turns me to face him.

"Where did that one come from Lia?" He demands from me and grabs my chin.

I frown because he shouldn't know any of them. He scoffs and scowls at me. "I told you I loved the fucking show so of course I know the language. Where did you get the phrase 'Justice Comes on Swift Wings' Lia?"

I swallow and shake my head and look away. "I can't tell you Eric. Please don't make me, I made a promise."

Eric pulls me to him and cups my face and looks at me "You are going to have to soon, Lia. I won't hurt you I promise baby. I wish you trusted me."

His voice was full of hurt and I grasped his shirt. "Eric, I trust you with my life. But it isn't my life that would be at stake. That is why I can't tell you."

He must see the truth in my eyes because he nods and puts his forehead against mine breathing for a moment. After that he walks me to the dorm and leaves me after a last look. I shower quickly and fall into bed.

Tris climbs into bed with me and I pull the blanket over us and she holds me. Tonight will be one with another nightmare. I have had one every night since I started to think about the fear sims.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 - Eric's POV**

I frown at the paperwork on my desk. Fear Sims started for the advanced class and Connor and Four were handling them. I was working on evaluations for the advanced training group and then the rankings for the regular group.

We start fights after the sims and we had to make matches for the advanced group. I was already scowling at the thought of having to put Lia against some of the guys. She could handle it. As long as she stopped fucking holding back all of the time.

My door bursts open and Zeke is there with a white face and my heart stops.

"Lia…" I jump up.

Zeke nods gasping for breath as if he had just ran here, which he did. "She's fine Eric. But Connor needs you down there now. Something about her fear sims, classified or something."

"Fuck!" I am already running alongside Zeke and I have never cursed the long winding complex as much as I am right now.

I run through the waiting area and I see Logan stand and look at me with a white face and a almost knowing look in his eyes. I scowl at him. I look to Zeke to issue orders. "Get everyone out of here. Get them to the training room and set them to work the bags or some shit. Not you Logan, you stay. Four make sure he stays."

I throw open the door and Connor is there with Max, Leo and Andrea. All the fucking leaders. Fuck.

"What the fuck is going on Connor?" I walk over and Lia is so fucking still. Her body is locked down and it doesn't look right at all.

Max puts a hand on my shoulder. He knows already about my intentions to Lia. And as long as it doesn't interfere with work and her training he was for it.

"We are keeping her in right now and replaying them. Eric she only has five fears but three of them are about the Erudite take down and other things we had only heard rumors of. You need to watch it because …." Connor stops and looks to the screen and then hands me the node that allows the instructors to view without revealing they are in the sim with the initiate.

One of them is something I expect. Her mother blaming her for her death. It kills me Lia has to go through that but she handles it perfectly. She tells her mother she loves her. But she chose to stay and had no one else to blame but herself. She could have taken Lia and left but she didn't.

The second one kills me even more because it is a replay of her parent's tumultuous relationship. Apparently that was how it started, with massive desire. Her mother and father morph into me and her and she has to face that we turn into that. It also shows how much seeing me with those girls affected her as they pop up and taunt her about me. Saying she is nothing special and I will just burn through her like all the others. In that one…in that one she leaves me.

The rest are what floor me and everyone. When I come out of it I can only lean against the wall.

I look to Max, not even able to hide the pain in my eyes. "What do we do Max? They are still being processed for trial. This could even help with her dad but…"

Max nods his lips thinned in anger at all we had seen. "Bring her out but don't say anything. Let's let her pass initiation and then we can talk to her. It is going to have to go to trial Eric. She is going to have to testify. You held Logan back too?"

I nod and look over at Lia then walk over and run a knuckle down her cheek gently. "She saved us all and she doesn't even fucking want anyone to know. How can I not talk to her about this Max? She thinks she honestly failed. And those experiments Max, what they did to her."

Connor looks down at the girl that I know he looks at almost like a daughter along with Shonda now. "Max…I agree. You have to let him talk to her but only if she needs it when we bring her out. But otherwise, can I talk to Eric alone?"

Max looks around at Leo and Andrea who nod. "Okay, bring her out and you two stay here with her. See how she is and then go from there. If she needs to stay outside of the dorm tonight with Shonda or someone then I will allow it. But she can't mention it to anyone other than Logan and us."

I feel relief and nod gratefully at Max and the others. They walk out to give the two of us privacy but they also move Logan to another Sim room.

Before he brings her out Connor looks at me. "Eric, you know Lia by now. I know you want to be there for her, but look." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "If you talk to her about this and get the full story. Right now if you told her how you feel she will say it is because of what she did and not that you really feel that way for her. She was hurt badly by her past but seeing you with those girls Eric. She told Shonda she isn't made for relationships that she wants the job to be it. She is scared of how much she, well she loves you. I will let her out, but think about that."

I want to rage at him but I can't because I already knew. I heard her pain when she said she saw me with those girls and I just saw it in her fear sim. Of course she would turn that I knew into a way to be in denial again. I sigh and nod.

Lia gasps when she comes to and bolts off the table rolling and then going into a crouch and ready to fight position.

I can tell from her eyes she still feels like she is fighting against the Erudite and Factionless as she cleared the way for my team and I crouch letting my eyes hold hers.

"Lia baby are you ok? Nothing is going to get to you here…" I hold her eyes letting her adjust and stop myself from mentioning the Erudite incident. "You did good baby."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 - Lia's POV**

I can barely eat, any of us really. Tris and the others that aren't even running the fear sims are just as nervous for us. Logan and I are sitting close because this morning a possibility hit the both of us. What if they see what we did? Who we truly were and who I am willing to die to protect?

Lauren sighs at us from her spot next to Hector "Guys, you will all be ok. You are brave and tough. I believe in all of you. Logan and Tali, drink your shakes at least please?"

Tris looks at me pleadingly and I sigh and nod. I sip on my shake slowly because my stomach is in knots.

When it is finally time Four and Connor led the advanced group through to the sim rooms. Peter looks at me and pulls me to hang back a moment.

He frowns and looks at me tenderly. "You are the bravest of us all Talia. You don't have anything to worry about. You beat your father once."

He thinks I am worried about just my father. Well he doesn't really know much about me. Then again I don't know about him either. I realize then it isn't going to work and no matter how much I want to help him or take the safer road with him it won't work. Inside I am a mess, but I smile and nod.

"Thank you Peter, you remember you are strong and brave too. Okay?" I smile softly at him and he nods with a tight smile.

I can tell he is unconvinced. Peter has his own demons to handle and I can't help with those if he won't open up. Because he won't or can't, I could never trust him with my own.

We are called randomly and Ash is one side of me with Logan on the other. Ash is holding my hand as a brother would. Peter was glaring at him until Ash grinned at him in a bit of a feral way. Apparently Peter and I weren't as secret as I thought.

I get called in and both Four and Connor are there.

They both smile at me kindly. But Four starts out. "Hey Tal. Have a seat on the chair. We are going to inject you, then scan for how many fears you have. Once we know we can determine how many to try and work you through a day until the final test after sparring. Don't worry you are going to do fine."

I nod nervously and move my neck to get the injection. The last thing I see before the blackness descends is the worried eyes of Connor and his whispered 'Five'.

I gasp awake and my body is fighting. I feel too exposed so I roll to the floor and crouch to get my bearings. It was going badly. I lost my team…we are failing. I have to get the path clear or they will win and the Dauntless team won't make it. I sent leaders in! I can't fail them!

My heart is pounding and my mind goes muddled. What am I doing? Why am I on the floor?

I see someone crouched in front of me and I see his eyes holding my own shining with something.

"Lia baby are ok? Nothing is going to get to you here…" his eyes are softened and full of worry and…love? "You did good baby."

My eyes roam over Eric and then Connor who is looking at me with worry. I don't know what they saw. I have a feeling but I don't know for sure. Eric is being careful though. And that means they might have seen the incident or maybe they see what I thought I should have done? They might have seen everything for all I know. Either way I need time to sort through this. I need to talk to Logan and after seeing Eric's eyes and determining what I did about Peter. I have a lot to think about.

I sigh shakily trying to think of how to move around this. "How long was I out?"

Something crosses Eric's eyes and he lifts me to talk to Connor. "It was a while Talia but it takes a while the first times. Because of your, well we know you are divergent so we have to up the formula to keep you from manipulating the sims."

I nod and sigh. I had known that was going to be needed and honestly I was ok with that. "So, I have five fears? Ok…" I am at a loss for words. "So what now? Do I go to sparring?"

Eric frowns and looks about to say something but Connor clears his throat. Shaking his head, Eric closes his eyes and sighs. "Yeah we can take you to the training room and you can work out and spar. We had the others go to there and will be sending them one at a time to get their time in. But if you need to Lia, we can go to the roof. Or even on a run?" He holds eyes with mine and I can see he needs and wants something from me but I can't give that to him right now.

As much as going to the roof or out on a run with him is calling to me I know if I do I will give in and tell him. I need to work things out on my own first.

"I really feel the need to go train with the others, Eric. The clock is winding down…" I look away and whisper that. The clock is winding down on training and excuses.

With and nod and his eyes shuttering closed Eric looks to Connor. "I will take her to the training room and send in the others."

Connor nods and Eric puts his hand on my back and guides me out. He doesn't talk but I do lean against him a bit more than I normally would.

When we make it to the training room I am instantly surrounded and have to reassure my friends that it was just because of the issues with my dad. I hate lying and Tris picks up on that I can't talk about it right that moment.

Molly and Drew started mocking me and calling me weak because I obviously couldn't handle the fear sims. I already knew Peter wouldn't say shit to defend me and I was right. He wouldn't even look at me. That made this a bit easier for me to do I think.

I worked the bags hard as my friends all took their turns at the sims. Logan returned and were shared a signal for setting a meeting on the roof to talk.

Eric hovered near me or in the area and I could tell he was worried but he had the whole 'impassive Dauntless asshole' look working hard. Except for when Molly and Drew and started in on me. Then he went lethal but he did it to Peter while Lauren took on Molly and Drew. She made them do suicides until they were dry heaving. By the end of the day I had sparred a good amount against Logan. We both needed to focus our minds and reliving what we did. Even if all we could remember was the feeling of what we felt then, was making us lose focus. If we went against anyone else we would hurt them. I had a feeling Logan and I would be hitting those obstacle courses I made hard sometime tonight or early morning.

The instructors called end of day and Logan and I bolted for the roof. We ran hard and fast and I am sure left worried people behind but we had to. I burst onto the roof and Logan was close behind me and then pulled me into a hug.

"Gods Tal, I was so fucking scared. You were in there forever and Zeke, Four and Eric's faces were so white. Tal, all the leaders went in there. Then they took me into my own. I don't know exactly what they saw." he gulped and I hung onto him.

I nodded frowning in worry and thought. "Eric was there and I was crouched on the ground. I think he wanted me to tell him what I was going through but I couldn't. What are we going to do Logan? I promised them. I have to protect them Logan."

I feel close to tears and he nods. "We will Tal, we will I promise. They said we could talk to each other or the other leaders about anything we might be feeling. But that they are keeping it classified. That is a good sign right?" Logan had pulled back and was cradling my face in his hands, trying to reassure me.

"There is no way they aren't going to not want to add this to the investigation. Logan, I can ask them to leave all of you out of it. I will and want to take the burden of it all. I won't let them try and punish you four for those sick asse's actions." I grip his shirt and he scowls at me.

"No Tal! Stop it! You tried to take it all on yourself already. You saved them and the city, Sis. Stop seeing the blood and look at the life. You saved countless and you saved them too. You saved more than their lives Tal. You knew they were spiraling because what they were made to do and you followed through with your promise. We stand watch, remember that is what you said. You offered us all the serum but you said that you were standing watch. You won't do it alone though and if I am reading right Tal, the leaders will help us with that. The pride on Max and Four's face when I came out and they had me tell them a little bit about it tells me they won't let anything happen to them."

I close my eyes and nod, relieved that we might have people on our side to help with the protection of our brothers. "I can't talk to Eric about this Lo, not yet. I have some things to figure out but I think I know what to do about Peter."

Logan scowls "Kick his fucking ass I hope!" He growls out and we walk over to the ledge of the roof and sit.

I sigh and shake my head "No not that. Something is going on with him Lo. His friends have some kind of hold over him and he shares some of the same past as me so I think it is linked somehow. I feel like I need to help him but I can't if he won't open up."

The moment the words are out of my mouth I close my eyes because...that is exactly what I am doing to Eric.

I got pissed seeing him with other women but did I consider what it did to him to see me with Peter? He obviously had seen Peter in bed with me a few times. So what was he supposed to think and feel? Then there is my past and while I talk to him about my father and mother I still hold so much close to my chest.

I sigh loudly and Logan side hugs me "You ok Tal?"

I chuckled mirthlessly. "Yeah I just am thinking about my life in general. We should get back to the others, they are going to be worried. I am going to disappear for a bit after a shower though. Can you run interference?"

Logan quirks an eyebrow but nods. "As long as you aren't trying to leave the compound though."

I smile and shake my head "No nothing like that. Just something I need to do on my own. It won't take long."

With that we get up and head to the dorms. The girls mob me when I get in and I can give them a real smile and tell them I am ok. I shower quickly and had told them I would meet them in the dining hall after my shower and getting dressed.

I dress hastily in a black tank my blood red hoodie that Eric gave me, jeans and boots. Then grab my bag that has my phone, tablet with accessories and then my sketchbook. I walk quickly and make my way to the parlor.

Tori looks up when I come and smiles at me. "Hey Tal." She frowns at my look. "What's wrong?"

I frown and look down "We started fear sims today, mine were harsh. Look Tori, I want a tattoo but I need you to not say anything or ask questions. I also need to ask you to help me with something. And you are going to want to say no, but it is something I need to do. Both of them. Can we go to the backroom to talk?"

I leave the parlor only really half satisfied. Tori refused one request outright but I got the tattoo I wanted. She quirked an eyebrow but then gave me this knowing fuckng smirk that I couldn't place. I went to the shops and got a few workout compression bands for my forearm to hide the tattoo for now. I wasn't ashamed of it, I just didn't want anything being said because of it. I still had things to figure out.

Once that was done I made my way to the dining hall finally. Eric was at the leader table and was glaring at me pointedly. I went and got my tray from Lisa the manager and he had ordered me my food as usual. But I guess as a treat and because I had mentioned to him during one of our talks that a comfort food for me was chicken alfredo he ordered that. So that, garlic bread, a salad and a chocolate and peanut butter parfait was waiting for me. Tris had waited to get her tray until I was there.

I started to eat and heard my message indicator on my tablet so I pulled it out of my jacket to read the messages and saw there were several. My friends had worried and so had Eric. Peter even messaged me but I scowled at the message. No apology or asking if I was ok.

' _Want to hang out on the roof Tal?'-Peter_

' _Aren't you with your friends?'-Talia_

I didn't get a response back and I looked over the others and apologized to them at the table and sent messages to Shonda and Lauren who weren't there but out with Connor and Hector.

Eric's messages were just wanting to make sure I was ok when Logan came back and I wasn't there.

' _Sorry Eric, I wanted a little time to think and I had something I wanted to do. Didn't mean to worry you.'-Talia_

' _You know you can talk to me about anything Lia, right?'-Eric_

' _I know Eric and thank you. I am just trying to process things.'-Talia_

After that Eric says welcome and I started eating. Tris shares a look with me and we decide to head back to the dorm right after and read and talk. I tell her about my discovery about what I had been doing to Eric. Tris knows me well enough to let me talk things out and is supportive of what I need to do.

When I have talked my thoughts and feelings through I curl up under the blanket Eric got me after changing into my pj bottoms. Sometime when everyone is asleep Peter crawls into bed with me. I sigh and shake my head but let him hold me and go back to sleep. But as usual I can't sleep with him and Eric's blanket so I get up and put that away before laying back down. I am tired and don't have the energy at that moment to have that conversation with him.


	21. Chapter 21

****Chapter 21 - Lia's POV****

Fear sims the next day aren't any better. Logan and I go at sparring again and even though we did ridiculously well in times during the fears, it still leaves us both wounded in ways we had never thought possible.

Eric is in a foul mood and takes it out on the regular initiates. Mainly Chris and Al by pairing them up to have real fights. Chris he pairs with Molly and while I almost loathe both of them I feel sorry because Chris is so under prepared. But that is why Eric choose them. Because Chris isn't giving it everything she has and Molly is using her mouth and bully techniques to try and get by on.

It doesn't take long for Chris to be on the ground and quitting. Her body is as weak as her will. I don't blame him for doing it. But when she quit Eric decided the lesson needed to be taught. He called for a break and had everyone follow him.

Everyone around her had faced those fights or spars and took our hits and the blood we ended up shedding and learned from it. Regardless even I didn't want to see her being hung over The Chasm for seven minutes. He had said five at first but then changed it to seven when Al had opened his whiny ass mouth.

I couldn't help it I spoke out against it and him and I never did that. Even when he made Al go stand in front of the target on the gun range because he kept flinching when trying to fire and sending his shots in dangerous directions. Al had deserved to be made factionless for that incident because someone could have been killed but that wasn't my call to make.

He had called time after my outburst and I had leaped forward to try to help her, but he dismissed everyone and dragged me away with him. I thought he would take me to the training room and make me fight him again or run the obstacle course he had found out Logan and I had made, but he didn't.

He dragged me to his apartment and shoved me in then had come in and slammed the door, locked it and started pacing. I think he was trying to calm himself but it didn't work because as soon as he felt my slightest movement he had a hold of me and shoved me against his living room wall. He held me in place by his arm locking me in place as it was pressed against my shoulders and chest.

"Why?" He demanded his voice cold but his eyes were anything but cold, they were an inferno at that moment.

"You know why Sir." I shouldn't have said Sir. He fucking hated when I did that. Anyone else and he would want to kill them for not saying it. But with me if I even hinted I was going to he became livid. It infuriated him now so much that he punched a hole in the wall beside my shoulder.

I took a calming breath. "Eric, I am sorry. I forget. It isn't because I am trying to piss you off with that. I just have it programmed in me now as respect."

That didn't calm him down any. "Then fucking un-program that shit Lia. Do you understand me? I don't want to ever hear you refer to me as sir again."

My eyes don't back down from meeting his. "Yes Eric."

"Why! You know it had to be done Talia, so don't try and tell me you don't." I could always tell when he was truly angry or upset in some way with me because he didn't use his nickname for me.

"It wasn't that you did it but you lengthened the time because of that lump of shit Al. She was already struggling with hanging there Eric. His inability to not whine or open his mouth shouldn't have affected her already long time. If anything it should have caused all of us to do laps or something."

"Neither of them belong here Lia and me not forcing them to quit on their own might cost someone else their lives. It might cost you your fucking life because you are just the sort that will put it on the line for them." He punched the wall again and put another hole in it. But the entire time he didn't let me move and I didn't try to.

"That is going to happen regardless Eric. It's who I am and I will be that way in regards to anyone."

"Even that piece of shit you call a boyfriend?" He growled out.

I didn't respond and I didn't know how to. I knew he had found us sleeping in my bed that morning before we had a chance to get up like Peter always did. Any other morning he would be in his own bed well before the others and sometimes I never even knew he had gotten up.

Eric had practically tried to beat Peter to death today and then was pretty blatant about his looks at me and kept putting his hands on me or would lean in close whispering to me just taunting Peter.

"Are you going to answer me Talia? Would you risk your life for the shithead who acts like you don't exist when it isn't just you two? Or treats you like you are freaking scum on his boot when his friends are there?" His voice emotionless but when I looked into his eyes I saw pain and it tore me apart. Why is he doing this to me? I can't even figure myself out right now with the mess fear sims are leaving me in.

"Yes Eric, I would for him. I would even for his stupid friends too. I would do it for you, Eric." I say quietly.

He backs away but punches the wall again two more times and with both hands making more holes. Then he presses back into me again only with his entire body instead of his arm. He grabs my arms and locks them above and to the side of my head and then takes my mouth in a rough and mind numbing kiss.

My body responds and I kiss him back just as roughly. He lets go of my hands and wraps his arms around my waist pulling me against him until his extremely large erection on is pressed against me. My hands have made their way to the back of his neck and to his hair, my nails digging into him like his are into me. I know I am moaning into his mouth and I feel and hear his growls of approval. It shouldn't be possible that our bodies match up so perfectly or that we both know exactly how the other likes to be kissed and touched. He hadn't tried to kiss me since we went zip lining. That whole time I had practically craved it and him. I shouldn't want this as much as I do, but I do and I can't help it. It just keeps getting worse too.

We are both breathing hard when he pulls away from the kiss and just looks at me. "Don't do that again Lia. Not when you know it needs to be done. You can't call me out in front of everyone. You know I won't go easy on you especially when I know you understand it needs to be done."

"I can't promise you something like that Eric." He growls and takes my mouth again in a kiss but this time he yanks my workout jacket off of me and rips my tank off of me in a very literal way. He only breaks the kiss when he lifts me up and makes me wrap my legs around his waist and then lifts my sports bra out of the way and roughly takes one of my nipples in his mouth.

I feel as if the wind is knocked out of me as I gasp and I cry out his name in a strangled manner. Part of me loves the pleasure at his touch and kisses there but the other part is scared of his manner and reaction. This seems to bring him around because he breaks away and looks up into my eyes and gently moves my bra back in place before he lowers me to the ground again.

When he locks eyes with mine I see the apology in them before he leans in to kiss me again but with a gentler manner. Even if it is still passionate and deep. When he pulls back he bends down and picks up my jacket. Before sighing and saying. "Go take a shower Lia."

I frown a bit confused and take my jacket then pull it on and start towards the apartment door but he grabs my hand and pulls me back.

"Where are you going?" He snaps at me and yanks my jacket back off of me.

"To go take a shower like you told me too." I frown and snap back at him.

He shakes his head. "In there Lia, you aren't leaving here."

He points to his bedroom and I frown. "I have to go Eric. I don't have any clothes and people will..."

He pushes me against the wall again. "You will go in there and take a shower and you will have your clothes when you get out. You aren't leaving tonight and nobody will say shit because they won't question me like you do." Then he pulls me with him into his room and opens the bathroom door he lets go of me as he pulls out things I will need for the shower as well as a few large fluffy towels and a washcloth.

"Don't leave this apartment Talia." He commanded before he stormed out of the room and I heard the apartment door slam. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my bruised lips and red cheeks. Peter and I hadn't said we were exclusive or even more than hanging out but I still felt like a cheater. The question for me, and what scared me most, was I didn't know who I was cheating on.

I shook my head and started the shower and for the first time took in my surroundings. The shower was this huge glassed in thing with silver/grey and burgundy glass tiles. There were smooth grey stone tiles that covered the walls and floor but there was a border pattern about halfway up the wall of burgundy and silver glass subway tiles. There was a huge rainfall shower head at the top but then there was a whole row of massaging shower jets. A tiled bench was at the other end and I could tell it would be a good place to sit and turn on the showers steam function. It was a pretty big bathroom in general and it looked like the glass had the erudite tech where a TV and network were built into it. I shrugged and pulled that feature up and looked for music of some kind as I decided if anything I could enjoy this part of the whole night. I was surprised to see that the music feature was already on a specific set of classical music and I left it there. It made sense that this would be on here considering he had put it on my tablet phone as well.

I put the body wash, shampoo and conditioner on a little shelf made for all of that and stepped into the shower when I stripped out of my sweaty training gear. I stood under the rainfall shower head and massaged my hair as I worked my fingers through it to get the rest of the braid out. I let the heat from the water and the other shower heads worked on my back muscles and loosening the tension. I sighed as the music and the shower helped to relax me a bit. It wasn't until I was already lathering myself up with the washcloth that I realized the stuff he gave me were new bottles and that they were exactly the kinds I used. Not only were they new and my favorite, but the ones he used were already on a shelf of their own and a completely different kind. I closed my eyes and sighed lost in thought about Eric. Eric who made sure that my meals were not only helping me diet wise but if I mentioned I liked something it was on my tray soon after. Eric who had bought me clothes because he wanted to with no expectations for them. All of these things that were building up with him and that was the problem because it was beyond the physical, well beyond that for him.

The say epiphanies strike at the oddest of fucking times and this was no less an odd time. Yes I was scared shitless of what was between Eric and I. But what if Eric wasn't my father in this situation? What if what was scaring me was that I would be like my father? I had always wondered if that was deep in me somewhere. It all leaves me confused because I don't know. I haven't been in love before or even wanted someone before and everything is getting all tangled together.

I finished my shower and tried to straighten up but my clothes from that day were already gone and my overnight bag from my locker was in the bathroom. Which means he was in here while I was showering. I knew I had been in there a while just leaning against the wall and thinking about him and things but hadn't noticed it had been that long. I shut the music feature off to finish getting ready for the night. I sat looking in the mirror for a while and at the tattoos that I had gotten to mark my journey.

One was on my right side and was that of a Japanese style dragon. It had no wing span and had the body of a serpent with spikes around the head section and along the body. The level of detail and scales was amazing. The tattoo started on the abdomen with the head lining up a couple of inches under the belly button and going horizontal over to my right side and then from there it curled its body down the ribs flowing into my buttock area. Some of the right butt cheek had the body before it curved back to the thigh and went down to mid-thigh. I had fallen in love with a sketch George Wu had done of it. Both he and Tori and worked to modify it so that surrounding it and in the dragon himself were kanji symbols for strength, love, protector, wisdom, selfless, honesty, trust, and then 'live life to the fullest', 'live like a warrior' and 'the moments that take our breath away are moments to live for'. The dragon was done in shades of black and grey with some punctuation of color of the same shade of the bloodstones in my dermals. I had several sessions and it was done now that the dauntless flames that were laced here and there throughout the tattoo were added.

The second was one on my other thigh and I had made it after I realized I could be a woman and a soldier. So my design is an intricate black lace garter with a 9 mm tucked under it. It goes down the thigh in black lace bow fastenings as if for stockings but then at the last one a curtain is being pulled back to reveal not muscle and bone but rods and pistons, cogs and gears. I also made a match to it for the masculine version. On that one it was for the shoulder moving into the chest over the heart down the ribs and into the abdomen. It was the rods, pistons, cogs and gears instead of the bones but it was revealed like the flesh was being or had been ripped back in places. On that one the heart was flesh and blood and beating and was mean to show that even soldiers have hearts.

The third one was a series of symbols down my spine that are based on the fictional language from Doctor Who, only it is based on real mathematics. Each symbol stands for either a phrase or words. The first phrases are: 'I am not broken', 'I Stand Watch', 'I may be on the side of angels, but do not think for one second I am one of them', 'Without the dark the light would be blinding', 'Be brave, Be Fearless, Be Honorable', 'Justice Comes on Swift Wings', 'Live a life worth living'. Almost all of them relate to me and my past and most of them relate to Eric too. The words are chaos, death, life and love.

The other tattoo that I had kept hidden is another based on math. Eric's own maze tattoos have their own meaning and I was able to figure it out. I took that and used it to make my own tribute to him, my family, my squad and the inner me I have never let anyone break. Inside of my left forearm there was a combination of delicate lines, geometric shapes, a maze with symbols inside a cube and planetary alignment. All made to run in a delicate line down my arm. The maze was a compressed version of both sets of Eric's maze and symbol tattoos.

The lotus flower I shared with Tris to symbolize we were reborn as sisters here. The motto down my right arm that I shared with all of my family here that signified our unity. All of this rooted me and looking over them had become a ritual of sorts especially now that fear sims have been going on.

I got my pajamas with the pants out and saw clothes for tomorrow, my vitamins, my protein. Several other things I would need were in the bag, including my tablet phone and headphones. I brushed my teeth and put lotion on as well as a face moisturizer. I got dressed and pulled on my favorite pair of thick socks and quickly brushed and braided my hair. Using the glass in here for just what I was needing it for, and water from the tap I quickly took my night dose of vitamins and iron before I shouldered my bag and walked out of the bathroom.

"Put your bag on the chair in that room Lia." He called in his demanding way.

I sighed and pulled out my tablet phone and headphones and slipped it into the kangaroo front pocket of the thin nighttime sweater I had taken to wearing now that it had gotten slightly colder in the compound. I am sure it would please him to know I never went without it at night now. I braced myself and walked out into the hallway then into the spacious living area of his apartment.

Whatever I expected it wasn't for him to call to me from his big kitchen and tell me to take a seat at the equally big island counter. Or for him to be finishing up something on the stove and plating it up for us then putting a plate of homemade grilled pork chops, asparagus and mashed potatoes in front of me.

He took a seat at the spot next to me and handed me a bottle of steak sauce and a bottled beer and smirked at my expression while I looked at the food and then back to him.

"You aren't the only one that lived by themselves well before transferring here." He said quietly as he cut into his own pork chop.

I processed this quickly and nodded but didn't ask questions. I had known he was from Erudite from one of our conversations but not this part. There was only one reason that would happen for a dependent in Erudite and it wasn't a happy one. I don't need to ask questions so I nod and put a bit of steak sauce on the chop and cut into it and eat as well.

It is really good and I close my eyes and sigh as I eat it and smile when he chuckles a bit. "You like it?"

I look over to him still smiling. "Yes, it's very good. I hardly ever made pork anything for myself. I love bacon but it seemed too extravagant to buy for just me."

I eat some of the asparagus next and he nods and sips his own beer "It took me forever to do anything beyond making micro meals or breakfast. Not that I couldn't cook, I just didn't want to shop for myself like some family did. I got tired of denying myself so I started to expand."

I smiled sadly and nodded. "I never got over one aspect of it though."

He quirked an eyebrow and took a bite of his food and told me to continue with a look of his eyes.

"I never could make myself any type of sweet or dessert. I didn't feel right about it and wouldn't even keep it in my apartment. I did make myself a rooftop garden in the place I claimed for myself and I grew blueberries and strawberries. I looked at it as a trade off I guess, I got to have fresh fruit and be out in the sun doing the gardening. I was a bit indulgent in that because I would just sit out there with a book and sun bathe."

I looked over and he frowned "Like as in nude sunbathing?"

I flushed red "No, I have a bathing suit I wore. I also liked to go swimming in the pool at the Erudite gym so I had it for that too. Did you ever go swimming there?"

He nodded "Yeah occasionally, of course I haven't been in years. At least a year or two before I transferred."

I smiled and ate some more. "I miss my garden and the sunbathing the most. I would spend hours out there gardening and then laying back with a book. Then I could just pick my ingredients for a salad and go make one fresh. Hopefully when I get housing I have a large window because if I do I can make an indoor garden for some things. You know you are lucky you have those windows and that balcony, it looks huge." I sighed and tried not to be jealous of the huge balcony and wall of windows he had in his apartment. These were leader apartments and they were much nicer than anything I would be getting.

We both ate some more and neither of us spoke for a while. I was sipping on my beer when he moved closer to my side, letting our arms touch and legs press together. When we were done eating I helped him to clean everything up and he pulled out a box that had some fresh made cookies from the bakery in The Pit and poured us glasses of milk and then told me to go the living room.

I helped him at least carry things in there with us, he pulled up his ottoman closer to the couch and it had a big tray on it that we sat everything on. We stretched out but he had me sit in between his legs and lean against his chest, then he pulled up a menu of movies on the big TV and handed me the remote.

"Pick something." He said without looking at me.

I frowned and looked over everything and then hoped he wouldn't make fun of my selection of The Hobbit. He didn't make fun of it, he just smiled then he turned the lights out and pulled a blanket over us before we sat back and watched the movie. We were practically laying there together propped up on the cushions and enjoying the movie and treat. I enjoyed the cookies and with each one I would half it and dunk it into the milk but eat that half slowly and savor each piece.

After we had finished our treat he had moved the tray out of our way and by the end of the first part of the movie I had ended up curled up into his chest and him with his arms around me. I openly was laughing at parts or even almost crying at others, if I allowed myself to cry. I could feel his smile against my cheek as he pressed in close to me.

"You have a beautiful voice Lia." Eric said quietly his head leaning against mine and his voice was a whisper beside my ear. I almost jumped when I realized I had been singing out loud. "You don't sing often do you?"

I sigh and frown "The last time was with my mother before he killed her. Otherwise it is usually in my shower or when I would work in my garden." I also used to sing to my squad when they would come back from their 'sessions' or a bad mission. I gave that of myself freely to them. Dylan had said that was the only memory he wished he could keep, my voice and me singing to him. So I found a way to leave that. He would never know who it was just the sound and the comfort it brought him.

He nodded "You should sing more often. I could tell how much you love it the moment you began the first one."

I smiled "First one, wow I really must not have been paying attention if I did it more than once."

He pulled me closer to his chest "I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to stop. Now I wish I hadn't said anything because I was right."

We got quiet again as we watched the movie and I was still sitting in between his legs my back against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. I could feel his heartbeat against my back and one of his hands had worked its way into my sweater pocket and locked fingers with mine. I heard my phone alert me that I had a message but I didn't check it and he didn't check his later when his went off. I felt like I was betraying Peter even though I knew I wasn't because I wasn't even with Peter. But I also hadn't been able to bring myself to tell him that we just weren't going to work if he couldn't even be open to me.

I dozed off before the end of the second movie part and he carried me into his room and slipped me into his bed. I was extremely drowsy but I felt him slip the sweater off. Sometimes I took it off before I went to sleep if it was going to be too warm or if Peter was going to be with me. I know at one point he had crawled into bed with me and pulled me to his side and we had slept like that all night.

I woke up to a message from him telling me that he cleaned my clothes and they were folded on his island in his kitchen and he left breakfast for me.

Eric wasn't shy about sending me messages and did so often. He could be sitting at the table over with the leaders and would be sending me messages. Most weren't even him commanding me to do something. He would send me compliments by message when he wasn't whispering them to me while we were in training or in his office. He seemed to send me the most when Peter and I were spending time together. He didn't like or trust Peter or his friends and it upset me that all of my friends joined him on that.

I found my clothes as well as two chocolate covered donuts, a coffee and an egg and bacon omelet. I enjoyed all of it, cleaned up after myself and locked the door when I left.

Tris didn't ask about what exactly happened when I crawled into bed beside her but she did tell me he had her pack my things and said I would be back in the morning. She asked me if I was ok and I told her that I didn't honestly know.

I had told her everything about Eric and I. She would get this infuriating knowing smile on her face when I would tell her I was confused or that I didn't understand why he did the things he did. She always supported me even though she hated Peter with a passion. As far as Eric went, she actually admitted that she liked him. Even with how brutal and cruel he could be she saw how much better I was becoming, and so was she. When all was said and done though I still fought against whatever it was that Eric and I had. I was a very stubborn girl.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hope everyone is enjoying the story. I know it is a repost from the account I am deleting but I hope that if you are new to it you enjoy. I would love feedback of any kind. As always I appreciate the reads, reviews, follows and favs.**

 **Chapter 22 - Lia's POV**

The way that advanced training would work is that we would continue to do the fear sims in the morning and sparring in preparation for fights. That continued for the week and then we went into fight week.

I have to admit I was ready for it. We were going into our third week of the last month of the training and I could barely handle the tension or things I was holding myself back from. Holding back with Peter because I hadn't been able to call him on his shit or end things. Holding back with Eric because what he said he wanted, hinted at, and made me feel. It scared the shit out of me and I was being such a coward about this.

My mother had married my father because they had felt such a strong lust and passion for each other. It had turned to hate when she was still pregnant with me and she never once blamed me or said she regretted me. I regretted me enough for the both of us though. Had I not come along would she still be alive?

 _Fight Week_

Fights had finally started and I had been excited for myself but somewhat nervous for Tris. She wouldn't be fighting now, but just the thought of it had me on edge. Clary started to work harder with her to help ease my tension.

The plan was each initiate had to have five matches and depending on their condition they could have no more than two a day. The rules were: more points were awarded for wins against those of the same skill level or higher. Tapping out was allowed but depending on the length and skill you showed it could get points deducted. Any fighting or hits after any Instructor has called it or if the opponent has been knocked down to the point they can't physically get up will result in major point loss.

I was happy with those rules because some people would be vicious in a completely unfair way. I could be brutal in my fighting but it was just my style. I had never learned to be truly refined like Logan or even Tris like she is now. Even with that I could still be calculated and I tried for my best shots to disable without causing too serious of an injury.

My first match had been against Logan. When we saw our names together we weren't concerned really. But we did have to gather the instructors and ask if they wanted us to go all out until one of was knocked out, because neither of us would concede. Eric had stared at me for the longest time before he had declared it was until knock out. Before I had walked up to the mat he had stopped me and hissed in my ear that I better not fucking get knocked out or get too hurt.

I did end up winning but it was a pretty long fight considering the length of the others that had already gone on. I tried not to use too much of what Eric had taught me or what I had known before to make it fair and also because we were hiding things. But I saw him fuming and knew I had to pull some of it out. I managed to finally take Logan out by using a combo of my aerial gymnastics I had used in capture along with a series of sweeps, kicks and jabs and a final blow to the head. It was in a quick succession so he had no time to react.

I had immediately jumped back to make sure he was out and they called it. Then I had immediately set to reviving him in the method we had found back in Erudite. I was almost frantic and wouldn't let anyone come near him. Tris had my bag ready and I started in on cleaning him up and trying to access his injuries until Eric had forced both of us to go to the infirmary. We both had severe bruising of the ribs, cheekbones, jaw and I had to have my shoulder put back into place because it had somehow become dislocated. They yelled at me because I had continued to use it and were baffled how I did it. I couldn't tell them either. Logan and Eric had just chuckled at my look as Shonda ranted and raved at me for a good half hour.

The other matches I had weren't nearly as bad and I felt horrible when I ended up breaking something. Emmet a Dauntless-born who I was matched up against on my fourth match just ended up grinning at me with the tooth I knocked out leaving a gaping hole. He wasn't even mad about it and had joked around with me as I visited the infirmary to check on him. He had already become a good friend along with Ash but this just made him closer to us.

That night after my fight I couldn't sleep. I tried but I just couldn't when images of my parent's morphing into Eric and me kept playing through my head. He had been in meetings all day and had missed the fights. He had messaged me, he always does, but I missed his physical presence. It was an ache and I hated that ache. I felt weak because of it.

I am not a weak person. I hope I am not anyways. But this whole relationship shit made me feel like I was going to go crazy. Should this shit be that complicated? How do you know if it is more than lust? I think it is more for Eric. There are signs of it. But am I seeing what I want to see?

Finally I got tired of fighting myself to try to and get some sleep and I quietly got up. I slipped on leggings, a tank, running shoes. I barely remembered it but grabbed my workout jacket, tablet phone with armband and wireless earbuds. I planned on running or hitting the bags to exhaust myself.

I had ended up alternating between the stair climbers and treadmill. I was oblivious to the world with my music in, jacket off and treadmill set on a sprint.

The only reason I knew someone was near was because I smelled him first. Sage and something else that revolted me. If I hadn't been so preoccupied and not on my normal hyper awareness that my body had been trained to be in he wouldn't have gotten the drop on me. He used the treadmill against me and sweeped my legs from under me, causing me to face plant and fly off the treadmill.

Then Al pinned me with all his weight and let a meaty fist fly. My mind and body kicked in. It might be calculating and cruel but I knew he had just fucked himself. There are harsh rules about sexual and physical assault in Dauntless.

"Think you are so special Talia...always prancing around." Al whined even in this.

I couldn't help it I laughed at him. "What's the matter Al? Pressure finally fucking getting to you? Tell me do you think you are a man because you try to attack people like a coward? Does that make you Dauntless?"

I was provoking him to hang himself enough. If he thought I would fight back, Al would run away and possibly preventing him from getting kicked out. And he really did not belong here. This itself was proof.

It got the desired reaction and he hauled back to punch me again a few times. I let him and then he went for the real noose that would hang himself. He ripped my tank top and bra open and started to try and fumble with himself and me. He got my pants ripped open slightly but not his own.

I heard steps and growled because dammit I wanted to handle this myself! There were more steps than just from one person and I felt Al being whipped back so hard that it even lifted me up.

I knew it was Eric from the snarling he was doing as he punched Al in the stomach, jaw and groin. Connor and Zeke were there and I sat up catching my breath until I saw Eric wasn't going to stop.

"Connor" I gasped and kneeled to get up. Connor growled because he didn't want Eric to stop but he knew he needed to. I got up finally and Connor had made his way over to Eric and hauled him back from Al while Zeke was on his radio. I rushed over to help with Eric.

"Eric!" I yelled trying to break through to him. I should have checked my face because the blood from the punches and the bruising already showing up sent him over the edge until I put my arms around him. "Eric stop, I'm ok. I'm here and he didn't get to even start."

"Eric, take Talia to get checked out. We are taking this sack of shit to Max and the others." Connor growls and he locks eyes with me. "We are going to talk about this in the infirmary."

I nod and feel Eric's arms go around me. Four had been called in. He walked in with thinned lips and clenched fists. He had gotten my stuff for me and then walked partway to the clinic with us.

"You fucking let him Talia." Eric hissed and then stopped us both and pulled me to him to a hug. He just held me against him tight for a minute. He then pulled back and realized my tank and sports bra were ripped. He put my jacket on me scowling as he zipped it up at the marks on my throat and face.

We went to the clinic and I got cleaned up. I had some bruising on my jaw and temple but was otherwise fine. There was a bit of pain but they gave me mild medication for that. Eric sat beside me as I was made to lay on the bed and wait for a bit while Connor and the others came to interview me.

"How far were you going to let him get Lia?" Eric whispered in a strained voice.

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Enough to hang himself. So right about when you charged in." I tried to smirk and winced instead as my jaw hurt. "Why couldn't the shithead even try and hit like that during training instead of being a coward?"

Eric shook his head and frowned as he took my hand. "Zeke called Connor and I with the feed. He knew the instant he came up behind you what he was going to do. Connor called what you would do too. I knew he was right but I couldn't not go Lia. I know you are capable but you either hold back or take this burden on yourself…" he trailed of frowning as he looked at our hands.

I nodded and sighed. "I knew that first day he wouldn't make it. Chris at least could if she tried but..." I sigh trailing off. "Do the others know Eric? because I don't want them woken up and worried about this. I was the one that couldn't sleep."

Eric shook his head with a frown and sighed. "No we hadn't woken them up and I am not sure they will unless they think someone else was involved. Right now they will start the process for either his ejection to the factionless or execution."

He had taken my left hand and was rubbing circles in the wrist and running his hand up and down the arm. I closed my eyes as I was allowing his touch and the mild pain meds I let them give me work. I felt Eric stop rubbing my arm and then fingers tracing something on my forearm. My eyes snap open and to him when I remember that I didn't have my compression band on. He would see that tattoo I had been hiding.

His eyes met mine and I couldn't read what was in them, whether he was pleased or upset. His voice was thick "This is why you have been wearing that damn band? I thought you hurt yourself Lia."

I squeeze my eyes shut and sigh then nod. Eric lifts my arm and presses his lips to the tattoo and presses a soft kisses to it before he lowers it and covers it back with my jacket again.

"When did you get it Lia?" His voice is soft and I look back at him.

"That first night after the fear sims."

He smirked and shook his head. He was going to say something but the leaders, Four, Lauren and Shonda all came in. Lauren and Shonda rushed me for hugs but then backed up when Connor cleared his throat.

Max looked over at me worriedly. "How are you feeling Talia?"

I shrug with a smile "I feel fine. Nothing an ice pack and anti-inflammatories won't help."

Max's eyes flash with humor before they darken. "We need to get your official statement and if you want to press charges."

I nod and calmly start to speak. "Yes I want to press charges. He had every intention of raping me. What do you want to know about the incident specifically?"

Connor took over, his face dark. "Start from when you left the dorm."

I nod and scrunch up my face in thought as I replay the events of the night. "I couldn't sleep because of dealing with fear sims. I work through things better when I focus my body elsewhere and let my mind focus on that. I decided to get in time on the treadmill or stairclimber, I did both. I had been at it awhile and I was on the treadmill on sprint mode. I smelled him first but I didn't have time to react before he swept my legs from me and used the treadmill at that speed to do the initial work. Once I was on the ground he punched me in the face a few times."

Shonda and Lauren were shaking in anger so I hugged them then continued "He said and I quote 'Think you are so special Talia...always prancing around.' I asked him if he thought this would make him a man or Dauntless. He apparently thought it would because he punched me a few more times then started to rip into my clothes. Then Eric, Connor and Zeke entered before he could get his pants all the way undone."

Max nodded his face hard. "Talia tomorrow.."

I frown knowing what he is going to say. "I am good to go sir. I want to do my final match."

Max locks eyes with Eric then sighs and nods. "You are excused from fear sims tomorrow morning. As soon as you get discharged you may go."

I nod respectfully. "Thank you sir"

The leaders leave except for Connor and Eric. Connor and Shonda kiss my forehead before Connor looks to Eric. "I'll have Lauren bring a bag for her."

Eric nods and I can tell he is giving him a relieved look. But Lauren scowls for a minute and looks at me. I nod and give her a small smile. She sighs then kisses my forehead then leaves.

We don't speak as he holds me to his side and makes his way to his apartment. He sets out a long sleeved shirt of his for me along with towels and lets me get cleaned up. He left my bath stuff on the shelf with his.

After I come out he has me take some pain medication and rubs some steroid cream along my jaw. I feel tiredness hit me and he doesn't speak as he puts me into bed and then climbs in beside me. His arms go around me and as soon as his heat circles me I start to drift, sleeping better than I have since the night of The Chasm incident.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 - Lia's POV**

I expect to wake like I did last time, with Eric gone and a note or message for me. Instead I wake to him still holding me and our bodies tangled together. I lay there facing him and half on his chest listening to his breathing and our heartbeats together. I notice that he is like me in sleep and awake.

In sleep is really the only time my body and my muscles aren't all working or tensing. Almost as if I am prepared to have to leap into battle at any moment. When I wake though my body starts a slow process of stretching in the most subtle of ways but all significant and almost predatory. I know when he starts to wake because I feel the muscles begin to work under me.

I don't try and give some awkward hello or anything. I just lay there and let things be. I let us be like this for the moment and without the desire that always gets in the way for me.

I feel his lips against my forehead lightly and what I think is him breathing me in before he sighs. "You're determined to fight today?"

I look up to his eyes and nod. "I have this last fight to do and I won't let what happened stop me. I could have stopped him at anytime Eric. But should I have? Would that help the next girl he would have at least tried it on? Do you know how often I caught him eyeing Tris? How she told me he creeped her out and was always trying to hold her hand or something? Had he touched her Eric, there would be no hole deep enough for him to hide from me." I grit out in a clenched jaw.

Eric cupped my cheek and held my eyes and I thought he would kiss me, instead he just smiled. "That is part of why I love you Lia. You love hard and you are what a true Dauntless should be. But you are also the most caring person I know."

I swallow thickly, unable to speak or say anything back. He shakes his head and presses his forehead to mine. "We should get you down to breakfast. Everyone is going to be worried. I am sure your phone is swamped with messages by now."

I give him a small smile and he moves to go to the bathroom for a shower. As soon as he is out of bed I miss him there and I frown at that. Sighing I pick up my phone and he is right, I have a ton of messages.

I find my bag on the chair in his room. After replying to the messages I will be at breakfast and we can talk then I get dressed.

I debate waiting for Eric. But I feel the need to walk out of there on my own. I give one last glance to the bathroom and then walk out quietly, slipping on my shoes and out of the door. I did message him right as I walked out.

' _Don't be angry, I felt I needed to walk the corridors and into the dining hall on my own.'- Talia_

I made my way quickly and barely got into the doors of the dining hall before I was crushed by a wave of people. I was in the middle of everyone with Tris right there first, her arms around my waist. When someone couldn't get by us and cleared their throats we finally broke up and I was led to our normal table.

Tris was torn between raging and worried, everyone was. Logan was having the hardest time. Eric had come in a bit after me and had gotten my tray for me as well as his own. We more often than not had breakfast together.

Logan couldn't sit still and I could see it in his eyes he wouldn't either. He was too worked up and wanted to hurt something or someone bad.

After a bit, Eric looked over to Logan and sighed. "Logan let's go to the training room. Finish up your breakfast and be there in five." Then he turns to look at me and leans in and whispers. "You can go to the training room but no working out other than a warm up Lia. And next time you don't leave me like that again, we leave together."

He commands me as he holds my eyes and I swallow but nod. The thought of a next time sends shivers through me, causing me to internally scowl at myself.

He smirks at me. "Finish your breakfast first" Then he gets up and grabs himself a water.

Logan leaves shortly after while Clary and I look on worried. "Did they tell you what happened?" I ask the table.

Ash had followed after Logan and Uri not far after him. Both with the same looks. It left Mar, Tris, Clary, Lynn and Lauren at the table for now.

Tris scowled with a slight nod. "Yes and I hope they choose execution." Her eyes and face hard.

I look to Lauren to see if she knows anything. She frowns but then sighs. "It is most likely that will happen. I don't have the details but this may not have been the first time he has either tried or succeeded."

Clary is quiet and picked at her food then looks at me. "Did you let him Tal? I mean get that far into it?"

I stay silent and my face calm. "I let him make his choice Clary. I gave him an opening to back off and he didn't." The girls nod and I sigh. "He would have gone after Tris I think. I just gave him an opportunity. We are almost never alone. Tris and I are always with each other and if not we are with you guys. He had been harassing her more than she told me I think."

Laurens eyes snap to Tris and she sighs and nods. "He was always there in training or with Chris. Chris kept trying to push us hanging out and then she would take off leaving me with him."

All the girls hiss and are looking pissed. Looking around, I frown when I see Peter looking over at me. I see the worry there but he hasn't messaged me or made a move to come check on me. His friends are there or one of them is. Then I see Molly enter the dining hall, she looks around, sees me and looks smug.

At first I think it is because of how I look or what happened but I soon find out different. She is smug because there is a girl right beside her and as soon as Peter sees her he goes pale then his eyes snap to me.

She goes right for him sits in his lap and proceeds to kiss him. He doesn't push her off or excuse himself. He just sits there, returns the kisses and steals glances at me.

I frown and look at my tray. I promise myself that he and I will be talking about all of this. If it wasn't over before it is now. I just need to not be a coward about it.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 - Lia's POV**

My last match was today and I fucked up bad. I had to face Ash. He wasn't a dick or anything despite his size. In fact he was a like a brother to me now. How I fucked up was because I was so much more trained than the others, even the Dauntless-born, that I had been holding back way more than I should. I stayed with moves I knew could knock someone out but not decimate them.

Ash was a smart fucker and had watched me. He anticipated a certain move and had been working to counter it. It worked and I was out hard. I had my first serious injuries. A fractured rib and a concussion. It actually put me out so hard and fast I couldn't be woken in the training room.

I woke to an IV in my arm and the beeping of a monitor and I instantly groaned because I knew I would be getting it from Eric. He had been on me that I needed to stop holding back and being such a fucking saint on the mat. He said it wasn't my style and never would be and to stop forcing it.

It was the first time I had ever seen him truly come close to really wanting to hurt me. There had been one time before I had seen him angry but this didn't compare. It took Four taking me out of the room so we didn't go at each other because I was about to give him a fight if he wanted it. I couldn't imagine how he was going to be for actually getting hurt.

"She's awake". I heard the croak from Lauren and then a scuffle and yelling for someone to 'get the fuck off me and get the fuck out'.

"Don't go yelling at her Eric! She just woke up. You better not upset her I'm fucking telling you!" Yelled Shonda.

"Get the fuck out all of you." He said in the coldest voice I had ever heard him use yet.

"We're going to be right out this door Eric. I swear you know I will kill you if you hurt her." Four says just as coldly.

"I will forgive your threatening a leader of your faction but I suggest you get the fuck out of that door now." Eric replied in the same tone.

I had finally adjusted my eyes enough to see anything but my head was fucking killing me. "Can someone just get me something for my head until you work that shit out. Or just kill me? That fucking works too right now." I say through a mouth full of cotton.

Shonda moves to come to me and Eric grabs her arm "I've got it. I believe I gave you all an order. Close the door on your way out."

He didn't even wait to make sure they followed his order he just turned and walked over to me. I heard the door close as I saw Four flash a sign of he would be waiting. Eric saw my sign back of 'ok and I'm fine' and he glared at me as sat on the bed next to me.

He put an arm around my shoulders and back and lifted me up so I could swallow the pills and drink the water. He didn't let me lay back down right away he just sat with my side pressed against his chest and I heard him doing a count in under his breath to calm down.

"Don't say it Eric, because I already know. You told me but I didn't listen. I just thought it was unfair to use the things you are teaching me in the extra training when they aren't being taught those things. I can't use the other things I know." I said quietly because my head did still really hurt.

"You trained before you came here didn't you? The Dauntless-born learn everything they can and they don't have the resources you do. Yet you had no problem using that did you? What is more you didn't even use all of that Talia. You purposely held back and you kept with the same moves!" He stopped after he had shouted that last part. He gently laid me back down then got up and did a bit of pacing before he went to stand leaning against the wall facing away from me.

I frowned because I felt the loss of him and it upset me more than I cared to admit normally. But right now I just needed him back.

"Eric, can you…." I stopped and swallowed around a lump in my throat. "Can you come back over here and maybe hold me again?" I finished in a whisper.

I heard him release a long breath and then he turned and walked back over to me and scooped me up completely. Then he stretched out on the bed and I was lying on top of him. He had been careful of the iv during that whole process.

"Do not fucking do that to me again Lia." He whispers against my forehead where his lips are pressed.

I nod weakly. "Lesson learned right? I guess my hard head just had to have it knocked into it. How long have I been out?"

He sighed and I felt the tension in his body that was relaxing slowly while mine did too. "It's an hour past lights out of the same day, so most of the day. At first we were worried that something was really wrong but when we got you in here Shonda and Doc Bastian said you were just recovering naturally from the concussion. And that if you didn't wake up in; about an hour from now we would need to take you to Erudite Medical. You cut it fucking close Talia."

His hand had started to stroke my cheek as he spoke and I allowed myself to melt into him. I sighed and gripped him a bit tighter. "How are the others?"

He snorts angrily. "How the fuck do you think they are? Tris is beside herself as well as Lauren and even Lynn isn't far behind her. All the girls are staying with Shauna tonight in case we had to take you to Erudite. Logan is pretty broken up and he asked me to contact his parents if it got worse or you were taken there. He said they worked at the hospital so he would feel better if they could at least be with you. Uri well he apparently gets more obnoxious when something like this happens. You saw Four and that is pretty much how he has been. Connor couldn't even stay in here because between Shonda and you he was tearing his hair out. He is at the gun range right now."

I move my head to kiss his neck "How have you been?"

"You don't want me to answer that right now Lia. I have been bordering on pretty fucking livid with you and saying I would kill you myself when you woke up. The rest you will just fucking deny or ignore so why fucking bother right now." He growled that last part.

I stay quiet for a while and so does he. "I am sorry I did that to you Eric. Not just ignoring your instruction, but for doing that to you."

He tilted my face up to his and placed a gentle kiss on my lips without deepening it. I sighed into the feel of his lips on mine before he pulled back. "They are going to keep you until at least the morning to make sure you are fine. Shonda has been extremely worried and signed on to watch you overnight. How is your head?"

I give a sleepy smile since they obviously gave me painkillers. "Whatever they gave me I am not feeling much pain at all anymore. Bit sleepy actually." A sudden thought grips me and I almost panic. "Don't leave though, please?"

I could feel his smirk against my forehead. "Not planning on it. Though I am sure Four and Shonda at least will be coming in soon. I can lay you back on the bed and just sit beside you if you want."

I sighed and griped him tighter by the waist. I shook my head already getting drowsier. I am drifting off when I felt a different hand stroking my hair and then kissing my forehead.

"Love you Tali. Don't ever do this to us again." Lauren whispered to me. I cracked an eye and smiled at her blearily.

"Love you Laurie." I barely get out. She smiles and moves away where Four comes to stand in front of me and takes a hand and puts it on my head and just looks me over. He looks to Eric and nods then turns and walks out.

I hear Shonda bustling around as quietly as she can as I drift back to sleep.

I wake up the next morning still lying on Eric who had apparently passed out soon after me. Shonda came in and it looked like she had slept in the empty bed next to me. She smiles at me when she sees me awake. Eric doesn't wake up right away so she tries to keep quiet.

"How are you feeling so far Talia?" She asked after placing a hand on my hair and stroking.

Shonda, Lauren and Eric had become this 'Let's keep Talia healthy' team. Such an odd combination but I secretly loved it. To have someone give a shit about you when you thought you were better off alone is kind of scary and wonderful.

"Like my throat is sandpaper and like I seriously need a shower and change of clothes. I cannot even imagine my B.O. right now." I say to make her smile. It works but I also here the sigh of impatience from Eric.

"She gets her lights knocked out and worries about everyone else but herself. Then she proceeds to worry about how she smells bad." He mutters in a groggy voice.

I scoff with my impish grin. "It's not the ONLY thing I am worried about."

He raises an eyebrow as I look at him. I smile trying to be cheeky. "How does my hair look and do I have any black eyes? Haven't had those yet."

His head thumps back on the bed as he rolls his eyes and sighs. Shonda laughs and says she has to do an exam and needs to see me move around. Eric helps me to sit up and then holds me as she does the exam.

I blush when I realize he spent all night here. "I am sorry if I kept you all night."

He shook his head. "I fell asleep and then when Max came in he told me to stay after I tried to move you and you started thrashing. Shonda booted him out and I went back to sleep. I have probably had the most sleep I have had in awhile this past week." He shrugged and looked at me to which I blushed again.

He chuckled and shook his head. "You're just making things so fucking difficult Lia."

Shonda shined a light in my eyes and had me follow her finger but only after I huffed and started reading small prints around the room to show her my vision was fine. She started tapping her foot in impatience so I complied.

She pursed her lips. "Thank fuck you are done with fights. The other initiates aren't as lucky but at least you won't have to have any more for the rest of the week. Conditional release and I do mean conditional. No sneaking off to the fucking training rooms around here to get in what you feel you should be able to do. You still have those ribs to deal with and your head is going to be foggy for the next few days. You rest every two hours for 30 minutes. No lifting, no upper body workouts. You may do your firearm practice as long as it is single shot but not the heavier calibers and no semi's. And do you know how fucking ridiculous it is how specific I have to be about what you can and cannot do? So how about this you don't do anything Four, Lauren, Connor or Eric say you cannot do. Am I understood?" She says sternly already seeing that my eyes were calculating. She grips my chin as she saw that look.

"I really need to work on not letting my calculating show through my eyes dammit." I mutter and blow my bangs that needed trimming out of my eyes and she taps her foot again. "Yes I understand. But do you know that you have just given at least two of the biggest worry warts over me carte blanche to basically treat me like some mewling baby? Then there is the other one…" I felt Eric growl and my lips twitched. "Three days Shonda. That is all I am willing to give it."

She let go of my chin and did some of her own Erudite calculating. "Fine but you come in here every day and we do the injections we talked about into the joints of the hands that were broken and the leg that was fractured the most. I also want to hook you up to the iv for the magnesium you have been avoiding coming in for. If you do all of that then I might release you on the fourth day for full clearance if not it will be no sparring or any type of upper body at all. Not even for that damn obstacle course you have been obsessed with changing up again."

I let out a growl. "Fucking fine."

She smiled triumphantly "I would have let you bargain me down to no magnesium at least. But thanks for letting me get that out of the way too finally. Now up you go, need to see you walk. You obviously know the drill so get to it."

I scowl and her as I realize she would have gone down to no injections either. "You would have let me get off with not having the injections too wouldn't you have?"

She gave a knowing smile and then motioned with her eyes to get to it. Eric had been silently laughing the whole time. He still had a smile as he helped me stand and then stood in the middle the path I would have to walk.

He had his arms crossed over his chest watching me like a hawk and the smile gone. I did have to go a bit slower and slightly off balance but I did just take a slight trauma to the brain and that combined with the night before made it worse for me.

She goes to get some pain medications and my discharge orders that will list every specific item I can't do that will be given to all the instructors. I had stepped into the bathroom to change into my tank and see the damage. My hair was a bit of a mess but I was a bit glad I didn't have any black eyes. There was bruising at my temple, along my ribs on the left side and then on my shoulder. I combed through my hair with my fingers and washed my face with a washcloth that Shonda had given me.

I came back into the room to see Eric still there and on his tablet typing rapidly then hitting buttons then back to typing.

I moved to lean on the bed next to him. I stayed quiet and let him work but he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me after he put the tablet on the bed.

"I thought you might like to clean up and since it is still really early you can do it at Shauna and Zeke's. I just sent out the message to everyone so it will save them coming here. I know Lauren was going to wake the boys in a bit and bring them here with her. Shauna was going to bring the girls."

I nod, and though Peter is a brief thought I don't really feel bad about someone not telling him how I am doing or getting him to visit. He wouldn't have anyways and other than Logan, Tris, Lauren and Clary they don't know what is really going on. They aren't stupid though and know something is up.

"Thank you. Other than you, I think I need to see them the most." I mumble in a distracted manner.

I didn't see Eric's gaze as it fell on me after that unconscious admission or his grin along with it.

"Eric, was Ash ok after? I know he just did what he was trained to do and did a damn good job but he also has become a part of the group after the thing with his dad." I ask worriedly.

Ash's dad had apparently been extremely sick though no one knew about it, not even Ash until after. He chose to follow a now old Dauntless tradition and give himself to The Chasm. Ash had been extremely upset and he had no brothers or other family. I had adopted him officially since I knew about loss first hand.

Eric kisses my temple softly. "He was upset though no one blamed him at all. Logan even told him that you would be pissed if he knew a way to beat you or even get the upper hand but didn't use it. That you would be pissed beyond belief. Apparently among the entire group they say next to me and Four you are harder on anyone you bring into the extra training and workouts. He was ok when I left the boys in the dorm. They moved into the transfer dorm by the way. All of your dauntless-born friends are moving into the same dorm. Since we aren't separating the training everyone was given the option to switch if they wanted. Will went to the dauntless-born dorm but the others of the group moved over to your dorm."

I smiled softly. I would have all my family with me. "That will be nice. I am sure Mar and Lynn is happy with that. So that now they can police what I wear on off days."

He chuckles and turns me towards him. A hand goes up to cup my face as he brings me in for just one more brief kiss. He pulls back and just looks at me. "Why do you fight it Lia?" He whispers.

I don't really have an answer other than it scares me that it moved past desire. And my issues with my worries about being my father so I shrug. "I don't have an answer for that Eric. Not any that I think you would like. None that are logical or even none that I really understand myself."

I see his jaw get tight when I look up at him again but he just sighs and nods. He doesn't let me go instead he presses my head to his shoulder as he brings me to stand close to his chest. His arms surround me and I let myself melt into him.

Shonda comes back in and gives the papers to Eric for my discharge and care along with a bottle of pain meds. The paperwork for the injury, treatment and status to put in my file are also handed along with my medications. She gives me another pain medication for right now since my head was still hurting. She had added a medication for nausea since activity would make that worse. I can tell she doesn't want to let me go so I pull her into a hug.

"Go get rest Shonda. You were here all day and then all night. This isn't the trauma unit so you can go home and get rest. Besides I am sure we will see you tonight. Zeke will want to celebrate me not getting the undefeated title. He had bet against me." I pull back and smile at her.

"Yes, but no alcohol for you until I clear you." She huffed but smiled at me.

"Believe me I won't. I tried that once after an incident and it wasn't pretty. I should have done more research before drinking and self-medicating instead of going to the clinic there." I said a bit bitterly.

She nods and looks to Eric. "Is she going to the dorm or someone's place?" I can tell she doesn't want me going to Eric's because she is still not sure what his intentions are with me truly.

He lifts an eyebrow at her and assumes his impassive dauntless-asshole face. "She is going to Shauna's" He said in a tone that also implied 'not that it is any of your business'.

She nods and then allows us to leave since she needs to finish up here.

The walk to Shauna's is slow because I have to stop from dizziness. I can feel Eric growing impatient and more worried.

"I'm fine Eric it will start to get better the longer the day goes on. Surely you know what it feels like." I say quietly as I start to move again.

"Maybe, but that's me and I don't have to stand here and feel fucking useless like I do now." He growls.

I shrug. "You helped me by staying and then probably keeping a nightmare at bay that is by far a more important thing."

He sighed and changed the subject. "Had you read any more of that latest book?"

I smiled at him pleased we were going to talk about books face to face. "Yes actually. I have maybe a little bit to go. I see there are follow up editions to it. At least that is what I think just the one going by the timeline they have. I really am enjoying the little anecdotes and annotations that he makes about the Roman Empire and just the regions in general that they occupied. I always find it a bit shocking just how corrupt the Roman Empire and cultures like that were. Take Alexander the Great for instance. His mother being as ruthless as she was and pushing to be like that is one thing but wiping out a rival and their entire bloodline is mind boggling."

I hadn't noticed but the arm that he had been holding in a gesture of helping me to walk had moved to our hands being intertwined.

He grinned and nodded. "Yeah it was pretty barbaric back then but they believed in blood feuds I guess. I can see from a certain standpoint that because it was possible family members would see vengeance or try to lay a claim for a position of power that they had to. It is hard to think about of the deaths of all the innocent women and children."

"It is especially when I feel like I can see it happening in my mind. But that is how books are for me. They are like movies in my mind and are sometimes very visceral to me depending on the material I am reading. Even the nonfiction ones or ones about different subjects are like that for me. It helps me process the information more efficiently I think." I finish with a shrug.

I hear him exhale beside me and his nostril flare out causing me to frown. He didn't make any comment he just nodded so I pull him to a stop since I need to anyways. I lean against the wall for a second and he stands in front of me letting me put my head on his shoulder. "Did I say something wrong Eric?" I ask as I let the dizziness and spinning stop.

He gave a mirthless chuckle. "No not at all. In fact you said everything right. I just never figured I would get fucking turned on talking about the fall of the Roman Empire. Or how discussing it would make me feel, or thinking about that photographic and eidetic memory that you probably have and how sexy as fuck it is. But fuck if just listening to all of that isn't making me hard as hell." He said in a voice thick with lust.

My head snapped up and I straightened up so fast I winced then felt a small wave of spinning. It passed quickly and I looked into his eyes. Sure enough that raw lust he had at that first lunch was there for me to see. I moved before I thought about it and crushed my lips to his as I moved my hands to his neck to pull him closer.

We kissed with teeth grazing, tongues warring and bodies pressed close together. His hand went to my hair and tugged on it until my neck was exposed how he wanted and then he attacked my neck. I moaned at the contact of his teeth grazing me and increased when he sucked greedily.

We broke apart because we heard steps in the corridor. He didn't move away from me though and he still kept me pressed against the wall. The unknown person moved past when they saw Eric and made sure to avert his eyes, probably trying not to see too much.

When the person had gone he spoke, having never broke eye contact with me the whole time. "You need to make a decision about Peter soon Lia. I am being more patient than I thought possible but it is wearing thin."

I had been trying to calm my heart and breathing so I just nodded. He pulled back but took my hand in his again as we started to walk. As we were going I had a thought.

"What about clothes and all of that?" I frowned as I asked him.

He shrugged. "Tris and Lauren packed your bag for you in case you went to Erudite or in case you got discharged and needed to clean up. They did it a bit before lights out." He said the last bit in a strained voice.

I squeezed his hand. "I know it worried you and I cut it close. I also know what Doc Bastian was saying that it could be if I didn't wake up. I did wake up though."

"You better of Lia." He growled and I smiled imagining him standing over me, commanding me to wake up.

We didn't talk the rest of the way and when he knocked on the door it was flung open. I was pulled immediately away from Eric and pulled into a group hug of girls. I smiled and closed my eyes. Tris was the one that had pulled me in and immediately claimed my hug while the others surrounded me.

Tris' voice cracked when she started to speak. "You wouldn't wake up Talia. Eric couldn't get you to wake up and you were so limp in his arms. And then they said you might have…" She couldn't go on and I stroked her hair.

"I'm too stubborn to give up and not fight to come back Tris. I'm here now guys and I am fine. Although Lynn can you please not hug that side so hard. Those ribs are hurting like a bitch right now." I said around tears that threatened even me.

Lynn gasped and immediately let go. "I am so sorry Tali. I even knew beforehand too."

We all let go of the hug and I smiled at them all. "Don't worry about it Lynn. I am glad to be here with you guys. I am sorry for scaring everyone so badly. I am sorry for allowing that to happen. It was completely my fault."

They frowned but Lauren waved that away after she looked to Eric and changed the subject. Eric had handed Lauren my pills but stayed there. "We have your stuff all set up for you in the shower. Tris says you have a routine to how you like to shower and laid it all out for you."

I blushed and smiled. "I guess I am pretty meticulous about that. It is just more efficient for me the way I have my system set up."

That brings out chuckles and Lauren motions to the Shauna's spare room that is her closet and has an attached bathroom. Eric follows and by some unspoken agreement Lauren and Shauna keep the girls in the living room where it looks like they had all piled in together on the floor.

When we walked to the bedroom he had slipped an arm around my waist and frowned. "Lia…" he starts and then stops speaking.

I look at him worriedly "What's up?"

"Yes I was angry with you for it happening and for you holding back. I don't blame you necessarily. I just wish you hadn't had to be hurt because of you not wanting to seriously hurt someone much less someone you care about. I just don't want you thinking that I am blaming you for something. I just got scared mainly." He said the last as if it was hard to admit and it is a hard thing to admit.

I press a kiss to his lips quickly and then sigh after I pull back "But you were also right. At least about the changing up my tactics so they can't be predicted and I failed to do that. So as my instructor and leader you were well within your rights to be furious at me. That applies on the personal level too. I think I would react the same way if it were you or anyone from the group. When you got hit by the darts I know that my mind and body reacted as if those were actual bullets. I was so pissed at you for allowing it to happen. I also panicked and all I could think about was getting to you. So I understand why you reacted the way you did."

As soon as those words finished leaving my mouth Eric swooped in and kissed me passionately. When he his lips left mine, we were both restraining ourselves from anything more. He pressed his forehead to mine. "Please figure this out soon baby." He whispered in the softest voice that let me know he had said his thoughts out loud.

He helped me into the bathroom and reluctantly left to go get ready for his day and said he had meetings to go to with Andrea at Candor, then the Hub for Abnegation. He pressed one more kiss to my forehead and then left.

The door closed and I felt like I was collapsing in on myself. That I needed to break down and cry. I didn't though because I never allowed myself to do that. Not since my father would taunt me to cry and try everything to make me cry. All I knew was that he was right I did need to figure it out I just didn't know if I was brave enough to do so. I was the worst coward in the world for that.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 - Lia's POV**

There were two more days of the week and the advanced training group had wrapped up fights already. The main group was still training for them but leadership had decided to add something new.

Logan and I had created obstacle courses and had been running them at nights or getting away to do them at other times. That had ramped up when the fear sims started. Eric had found out about them of course. He had taken over and started either running them with me or changing them with me. Our minds together to come up with things was truly a turn on and scary at the same time.

They had variations on different survival skills, strength, weapon proficiency and agility. Some of the things included a wall I had to scale but I had set it up so high that I needed to make myself a path with knives.

I had started out with 10 knives, one I had to make in the heart of the target in front of the wall and the rest I had to place in the wall to make my path. Eric had worked with me on that until I had 5 five knives but one still had to be thrown at the target. There was rappelling and firing while doing so, hi/lows with the semi-auto but also while moving through the course and vaulting over walls or sliding under things. The list and variations had changed day by day sometimes a few times a day.

Apparently courtesy of me the leaders saw the benefit of that and had it set up in a similar fashion to mine. The knives in the wall would be a progression for later in the training since they decided to keep us all active even during the nonphysical stage of training. They also had it set up for the members to test themselves out on. It was even announced what progression level I was already at and where the idea had come from.

Max and all of the leaders had stood in front of the obstacle course I was currently at and had anyone who looked like they scoffed at their announcement challenged to run it right there in front of everyone. This was calculated I think to show why I maintained my rank for so long with no fluctuations. I had been Rank One in the Advanced Training Group from day one and I guess there had been mutterings about that. They were showing that hard work and dedication were rewarded in Dauntless.

After that announcement we had been set up to work through the course but I was put on working with a new simulation from Erudite that mimicked a battle situation. I had worked with the tech before but it had been still working out the bugs. You didn't need any serums for this just a head set with electrodes for capturing brain activity and patterns that formed our body's commands to the other limbs. There were sensors for the heart, breathing and finally for the limb movements. The person in the simulation was given an area for movement and then you moved your body as if you were actually in the scenario at that moment. The only difference was you didn't actually walk or run out of your little square. It picked up those commands from the brain and followed through.

It was pretty cool and set up like a game to keep track of everything you did and you competed against yourself. Of course while running it I was thinking of a million things I could do to change and improve it while cursing I hadn't worked on something similar.

We were coming to the last week but we had the weekend to get through. The last week would be putting all the skills together. Running the course, showing our knowledge we gained, and then finally our fear landscape. We would be starting fear landscape practice runs next week too.

The week had been altogether taxing but I was looking forward to the weekend. I was healed up fully now though my mind and heart were still troubled.

Molly, Drew and of course Peter, who followed along however much he may have said he hated it, were up to their old shit and being nasty to everyone but mostly my group. Today they had been all about trying to fuck with Tris and I had had enough of it all. As everyone was leaving for dinner I signaled Peter with my eyes to stay. Our friends never thought anything of it when we both stayed behind because we had done it in the past on the pretense that we weren't staying there for each other but were going to be working on something by ourselves.

I was fuming by the end the day so as soon as the room was clear I stormed up to him and punched him in the jaw so hard he flew back then landed on his ass.

"That is fucking it Peter! Whatever we had or whatever we were is over. You don't get to be all loving one minute and a complete dick the next. I am tired of being some fucking dirty secret. I deserve better than that. You think I forgot about that girl? Or how about all the times you act like you care. But when it came down to it Peter did you once go out of your way to try and see me when all that shit went down? You want me to connect with you but you keep me a secret and yourself secret from me."

I huff and continue. "As far as all the shit you talk. You want to keep playing a coward and bully go ahead. Follow your friends into obscurity. All of that shit you guys do won't get you better jobs or a leadership position, but it damn sure might get you out of the door and made factionless." I start to pace as my chest heaved in anger.

"All that shit about your dad and mine and how we would never be like them. Who do you think you are becoming Peter? You let them walk all over you Peter and for what? Do you think whatever influence your Dad has in Candor has any fucking bearing here? Did you not see what fucking happened in Erudite? They are watching you all Peter. They are always watching all of us. So whatever shit you guys are up to will only hang yourselves, not your father." I stopped and glared at him and he didn't say anything just laid there staring at me.

I shook my head and my voice and face went to cold and emotionless. "I will say this one time only so you better listen. You better leave my family alone or there will be no fucking hole you or your friends will be able to hide deep enough in that I won't find you. And if I do find you there won't be anything recognizable as human left." My eyes turn hard as I look at him.

He stands rubbing his jaw and scowls "That hurt Talia."

"It wasn't supposed to feel like a massage Peter." I turn to go and he grabs my hand then tackles me to the mat. I let him pin me there for the moment but I knew I could fuck him up at any second if I needed to.

"You done saying what you needed to? Or can I talk without you punching the shit out of me?" He asked as he had my arms pinned above my head and was straddling me.

"I get it Tal and yeah I agree you deserve more. If you want we can go fucking announce it to all of Dauntless for all I care. I can't excuse myself about Alice and I won't try. But I do want to be with you. I am still an asshole and we both knew that from the beginning. Hell you even tell me regularly I am and that isn't going to change anytime soon."

He frowned and his eyes pleaded with me. I see he is drowning in darkness. His eyes remind me of Dylan after the last time he was tortured and something in me softens just a bit. "You are also right about all of that shit with Molly and Drew. I have been thinking that for some time. Like from the day I met you honestly. I don't want that anymore and if I have to choose between them and you; there is no choice here it is going to be you." He kept my hands pinned but not as tight.

I growled and looked at the ceiling "Well what the fuck am I supposed to do now?" I yelled.

He laughed and let me up. "Not turn me into a jagged pile of meat like you were planning? That might be a start."

He sat back on his ass and leaned on a leg he propped up in front of him and rubbed his jaw some more. "Damn, you really fucked up my face. You never went for the face when we sparred."

I scowled at myself and him because I knew I was about to give him another chance. "Well I wasn't sparring. I figured fucking up your pretty boy face would get the correct message across." I sat up and pulled my knees in front of me. "No more keeping us a secret Peter. If you can't be friends or whatever with me in front of everyone then we don't go there at all anymore."

He reached out and pulled me closer to him. "No more keeping us a secret and I can't promise to not be a dick at all. But I won't be like how I have been." He frowned and moved my bangs from my eyes. "You're friends aren't going to accept me or like me, but I will try."

I sigh when I think about my friends and how much they don't like him. "Logan, Clary and Tris know about us spending time together. I didn't define us because I don't know how to and I don't really like talking about emotions anyways. They know though. Which is why they pretty much stare daggers into you anytime you start in on me. They know it is an act but they know how much it also hurts me that you just won't man up and cut the shit."

"I don't blame them for that since I have hated myself for it too." He pulled me in for a kiss and pulled me onto his lap. "What are your plans for the night?" He asked as he pulled away and stroked a thumb on my cheek"

I shrugged to him but wondered why my heart felt heavy right now. Like I had just killed a part of myself with my choice. "Probably just going to go visit with George and Tori in the tattoo parlor and see if I can convince them to do my shoulder like I want them to."

He growls "I don't even want you doing that to yourself. Why is it so important to have that type of body modification done?"

I sigh and turn my head away. "Because it is." I reply flatly not exactly something I can explain to anyone. I especially can't tell Eric which kills me because I want to so badly.

He shakes his head "Well then let's hope they keep saying no."

"I don't want to fight about that again Peter. It is my body I can do what I want to it. What are you doing tonight?"

"Going to have a long overdue conversation with two former friends. Then maybe I will get to cuddle with my girlfriend without everyone having to be asleep beforehand."

"Don't make a promise you can't or won't keep." I whisper. He is saying the words, but I just have this feeling that I can't save him. I want to. I want to help him so bad. I can't if he won't let it happen though.

He gave me his lopsided grin "Wouldn't dream of it. Especially when my girl punches like that."

Peter stands up and helps me stand too but instead of him letting my hand go once we get to the door of the training room he keeps holding it. Even when we get to the dorm room and his friends see us, he keeps a hold of my hand.

Logan and Clary are on the bed lying down together. Tris is reading on her tablet phone and she saw us holding hands first. She frowned at first but then smiled and she looked at him in the eyes. "Just remember the things you have seen me do with knives Peter. Hurt my sister and you become the target replacement." She says her eyes going hard.

Clary and Logan give a chuckle but their looks say the same thing. Peter runs his free hand through his hair and smiles "Look guys, I am a dick and I know it. I will try to be less of a dick in the future…but as far as Talia goes. She deserves better so I want to give her better." He pulls me closer to his side and kisses my temple.

My friends all smiled and nodded and resumed what they were doing and he shook his head "That's it, no more threats of disembowelment?"

Logan shrugs "Like we said, hurt her anymore and find out just what we are capable of. I can't speak for the Pedrad's or the rest of the family though. They may just as soon kick your ass as listen to you. Lauren and Shauna are super protective of Tali. Ash too now that I think of it and he will punch first and ask questions later. Then there is Connor and Hector..." He trails off with a bit of a wicked grin.

Peter shudders and looks over at his friends before pulling me closer to him and kissing me. I can already feel them sending daggers my way when he pulls back. "If I get done before lights out I will come find you, just keep the phone on you please?" He whispers as he holds me close to him.

I nod and he moves over to his friends and they head out of the dorm room.

I sit down on the bed before I pull everything out to shower and change and pull up my phone. For almost six weeks, since after capture, Eric and I had been talking through messages and sometimes he would call me but those were rare. I felt closer to him than I ever did Peter. Most of that was Peter's fault and some mine. But his eyes in the training room keep popping in my mind when I think of if I should have gave in or not.

I had a message from Eric now and from the tone I could tell he wasn't happy about something. Most likely he had seen what happened with Peter and I. He made it no secret he hated that I was with Peter. He hadn't tried to kiss me since after I left the infirmary with my concussion. But he did still pull me to him to hold me close or would hold my hand from time to time. I had tried to tell him that he couldn't keep doing that because it wasn't right when someone was involved with another person.

He would give me the excuse that he only touched me when our training session required it but that even if they didn't friends could hold each other however they wanted as long as they weren't making out. No matter what I said it was clear he wasn't going to stop. I didn't want him to either and he knew it.

The times I did try for more he was the one to pull away. He had made his terms of what he wanted for that to be possible very clear and as with every other thing I couldn't wrap my head around about him or us I played the denial game.

I couldn't deny the fact that I had missed him today. He had been in meetings and I hadn't been able to see him. I also couldn't deny that I didn't really believe Peter meant what he said, but I needed to let him try. I think I felt if I didn't he would become the thing he hated and I couldn't help but try and help him.

I sigh and grab my shower stuff and a change of casual clothes. It is the weekend and we will have off so I plan on doing laundry tomorrow. I shower and clean up after myself quickly then braid my hair and join the others as we head to dinner.

Peter, Molly and Drew aren't there but that isn't new really. I never knew where they went to after training let out if Peter and I weren't stealing time together.

I went through the line and started to grab some steak when Lauren joined me "Lisa, Talia will have that special order that was made today." She told Lisa the Dauntless kitchen manager that I had come to know well in my time here.

Eric had taken everything that was said about what my diet needed and seen to it personally. On weekends or at least one of the off days a small rare steak went with my eggs and at least three days a week I had some form of rare beef. Other times I had some kind of salmon instead of beef because I had mentioned I loved it and Shonda said it would be great for good fats as well. Chicken had become a bit of a treat for me and if Shonda mentioned I needed a certain type of fruit or vegetable it was then being forced down my throat.

After the infirmary I finally broke down and talked to Tris about what I was feeling. I told her about my mother and how she and my father had first come together because of the passion they felt for each other. My mother had said that it had felt like she was being swept up into a tornado. But the tornado was of passion and longing. He had started out so loving and attentive but it had quickly turned ugly and then the tornado was full of hate, resentment and violence. She had said I was the eye, the calm beauty that was born of all the madness. It scares me how much it feels like that describes Eric and I. Tris of course did not judge or preach to me what I should or shouldn't do. She had simply held me and let me talk. When I was done she had said what she always does when I open up to her, that she would be there no matter what I decided but that I needed to listen to my heart and instincts. That is what I am doing now. I know that before the day is out I will have my answer about Peter.

I am brought back to myself when Lisa walked off to get whatever I would be eating today and Lauren smiled at me "Your iron levels were off though not horribly. But enough that we need to give it a little jumpstart. So Eric had them make something for you." She made a grimace and I smiled because I had a feeling what it would be.

"Liver?" I asked laughing and she looked like she would gag. "It really isn't that bad if cooked right."

She shuddered shaking her whole body and her mouth turned down. "Well he was very specific about how you liked it. So hopefully you can tolerate it." She got quiet looking at me and I shook my head.

I didn't want to have this conversation again with her. She was on the Team Eric bandwagon now. She had been on the 'Let's gut the both of them' bandwagon but had changed it shortly after the third week and also when he had started his campaign to take care of my nutrition personally. After the attack with Al though, she had been all about Eric.

"Nothing is going on between us Lauren. You have already asked that before. He was there when I had to explain things and then he read over my files. Besides that it is just a friendship."

She shrugged and said in a tone that made it clear she knew I was in denial. "There may not be something going on but I can say I would rather it be him than Peter."

I frowned shaking my head."Don't Lauren. He and I are working it out. I told him I wouldn't put up with his shit anymore."

Lisa handed me a tray with the liver and onions with brown gravy, some mashed potatoes, and broccoli with cheese. There was even a slice of blueberry and strawberry pie. I sighed when I saw all of that and smiled in spite of myself. He had them make me something with strawberries and blueberries. Mention something to Eric once and trust he would remember it.

Lauren looked at me and shook her head. "Keep telling yourself something isn't happening. But Shonda, Shauna, Zeke, Hector, Connor and I all see the way you both watch and look at each other." She smiled at my scowl and then plopped some milk, ketchup and my normal water on my tray before leading me to our table.

Logan got a look at my plate and he and Clary both frowned knowing what liver meant for me. "How bad were the levels this time?" He asked looking to Lauren and not me. I rolled my eyes and put my napkin on my lap and pulled my tablet phone out.

"Yeah, just ignore the girl you are talking about." I mutter and they all chuckle.

Ash eyed me and grimaced at the plate. "You better eat that all then Talia. I don't want to have to see you in the infirmary ever again." I smiled at him. Ash actually looked like he could be my brother with a slightly darker blonde hair that he kept in the 'fresh from bed' look. His eyes were hazel too but they showed the green more than mine. He was huge being as tall as Eric but he was bulkier in general. In a few years he would have the same hardness to his body Eric had gotten from his continuous intense workouts and training he constantly underwent. He had quickly become inseparable from Tris and I.

I pull up my messages and click on the running one Eric and I have going on. I thank him for the pie and for the other items and he responds that I better eat all of it and we are going to talk about that whole episode with Peter in the training room.

Of course he knows about it. I have a feeling Four helps him spy on me now. Four really does not like Peter much less his whole group. I give some smart ass answer and put the phone back in my jacket.

Lauren answers Logan and our group who are looking at me worriedly. "Her levels aren't bad but they are lower than they had been since she got her first injection, probably from the even small blood loss she had after Al. She just needs a slight boost and then they will go back to normal she is due to get the shot in a few days anyways. But since liver," She makes a gagging noise as she looks over and I grin at her wickedly when I take a bite "is high in it, that one plate will put her above levels."

Tris smiles at me and I nod. She has taken to trying different things I eat and if it is too bad I won't let her. She cuts a small bite "Make sure to put the ketchup on it, trust me."

She pops it into her mouth and chews then shrugs. "It's actually really good."

I laugh at everyone else's face and Lauren shrugs. "They made you some too since you usually eat what she eats anyways. Just go tell Lisa you will take your tray now."

I still can't get over that Eric just assumes now she will be having what I have and has included her in my special diet. She pops up and makes her way over to Lisa who already has it ready for her, pie and all. She comes over and we all start to eat our respective dinners and I feel my phone go off so I take it out to look at the message.

' _We can talk about it at the club. Lauren and Shauna are going to make you girls all go out again.' -Eric_

I stop eating for a moment and freeze not knowing what to say back. Peter and I just worked something out and if I go to a club and Eric is there. I was barely able to walk away the last time he started touching me much less if we get on a dance floor with booze in us.

He must be watching me from his normal table because I can just feel his frustration coming from across the room and in his next message.

' _Talia eat your damn food, I won't touch you if you don't want me to.'_ I look up and he is staring at me from the leader table and doesn't look away until I give him a small smile.

I reply back with ' _Thank you and see you then'_.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26 - Eric's POV / Lia's POV**

 _I sigh as I look at the last message Lia sent. God she is killing me with frustration! She finally stands up for herself and pretty fucking spectacularly. Only to turn around and let him sweet talk her back the next instant. And I can tell she doesn't fucking buy it. Now I am freaking worried about everyone's plans for tonight. She obviously has issues with today being her birthday since she obviously doesn't even remember it is her birthday. Fuck!_

 _I rub a hand over my face and Max smiles at me._

" _Are you ever going to tell the girl?" He says in a low chuckle._

 _I shake my head. "Even if I did she would just go into a state of denial. Which seems to be a perpetual state for her where we are concerned. I thought I was fucking bad with feelings. Man I have shit on that girl."_

 _He smirked at me barely holding back laughter. "Well then I guess you two are made for each other. Have you at least fucking asked her to go to that dinner next week? Or are going to spring it on her as an order? Because you know that won't work. You know what has to happen before she can go."_

 _I bury my head and my hands "Don't fucking remind me. Just let me get through tonight and I guess I can go from there."_

 _He nods and turns back to Leader Max not friend Max. "How is her training progressing? Andrea and Leo both gave great reports on her visits with them. You still have to do her visit to Erudite but that can wait. We could even push it until after initiation if we need to."_

 _I pull up some of the notes I had on these subjects on my tablet "Her training is going great in both areas. She is still in top ranking so far but the final landscape might change it. Seriously I doubt that, but stranger things have happened." I scowl thinking of Four and then shake my head since I am over that shit now._

" _As far as the leadership training, she has done great on all visits and the meetings we had at Erudite for the weapons development she was on point and almost ran it by herself. She knew exactly what we needed and what they were capable of and didn't take their stalling bullshit but was still respectful. They couldn't find any opening to twist her words like they do with others. As far as the more in depth meetings at Erudite headquarters I would like it to be pushed back until after initiation. Mainly because by then there should have some resolution in regards to Masters. I want him as far away from her as possible and a Candor jail sounds fucking perfect to me. Then there is the other matter that we have to get logged into the trial. Andrea and I have been working to get that portion classified but we can't bring Logan and Lia into it until after the final fear landscape. That won't happen until next Saturday."_

 _Max nodded his lips thinned in anger. "I still can't believe how far they went with her. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised after you but even you weren't forced to have visits after being removed."_

 _I suppressed my growl at the thought of just how illegal what they had done had been and that they had known what would happen. All because they needed to 'create' a better Erudite soldier. Oh yeah Erudite was about to get a shit storm headed their way now that part was wide open. They thought they had hid it well enough so that when the divergent scandal broke that part wasn't exposed._

" _Oh and as far as the survival training for the regular group. We have that slated in two weeks but with a week break in between the two to allow some downtime for the initiates. We will begin some prep classes after a few days of classes off and then begin outfitting them. As far as location we are sticking to Amity with using some of the outlying abandoned buildings and the fields for both city and wild simulations. Four and I were both concerned about the factionless movements so we aren't going to risk in the actual city proper's." I finished with a shrug._

 _He nodded and smiled widely. "Excellent, you two fucking finally not at each other's throats makes my job a hell of a lot easier."_

 _I snort and take a drink but sigh when I see something going on over at Lia's table. "What can I say, mutual interests and all. Speaking of that mutual interest I have to go take care of something."_

 _He smirks and motions me to go. I grab my tray and go to see what her friends have done to upset her now._

 **Lia's POV**

Shauna looks at me as I take a bit of the pie and smile. She laughs and everyone chuckles with her and I frown. "What's up?"

She smirks "It was pointed out to me that you make noises when you eat something you like."

I frown in thought and take another bite and close my eyes. It really is good and I have missed my strawberry and blueberry salad. I swallow and chew on my lip thinking "Like do I smack or something?"

Lauren laughs loudly ."No it is far from that."

I glare at everyone. "Well what the fuck kind of noises do I make? And how come no one has said anything before now?" I glare at Clary and Logan.

Clary blushes. "Because we liked the noises and now you won't make them anymore because someone," she narrows her eyes at Shauna "had to go and ruin it for me."

Shauna's eyes widen. "Hey Zeke is the one that pointed it out to me and only because he said it had started to get worse now that Eric started putting desserts on her plate."

"Will someone tell me what the fuck kind of noises I make!" I yell.

Tris shrugs "You moan and sigh. I don't see what the big deal is to be honest."

Lauren smirks "Well you two wouldn't would you? Being the innocents at the table here."

My fork clatters to the table and I turn red as my eyes go wide and I bury my face in my hands "Oh just kill me now, please? Please tell me I don't make THOSE kinds of noises."

My voice is muffled because I refuse to move my hands and I hear chuckles that stop as I feel someone, Eric, plop down beside me.

"You can't just let her fucking eat guys?" He growls out. "Lia, eat before I feed you your damn dinner."

I shake my head and turn redder. "Can't eat if I am dying of mortification."

He grabs my hands and moves them away from my face and then laughs as he sees how red I am. At my glare he tries and fails to stop laughing. "It isn't that bad, now eat."

I just sit there staring at him. "Definitely not, not where others are present. I will take the food and go hide somewhere to eat."

Lauren sighs. "Just eat Talia, we are teasing you. We like that you enjoy simple things."

Tris is bouncing in her seat "Eat so we can go get ready to go out. We get to go dancing again." She gets a mischievous look and I can't help but giggle.

"Fine I will eat but I will not enjoy myself." I growl and pout at the same time.

I did start eating again but I do enjoy myself and even though I try not to moan or sigh, the pie is just too damn good. "See this is what happens when I go too long without my blueberries or strawberries. I miss having them in my salads."

"Is that good? I mean a regular salad with fruit in it?" Lauren asks.

Logan nods adamantly. "Oh yeah, I didn't think it could be but we would usually go to her place for lunch because her cooking was so much better than the schools. She just plucked everything from her own garden and put it together. She usually had some cold chicken in there with it. But it isn't any different than the fruit being whisked into a dressing of some sort. I became a fan of it and I thought it would be too fucking girly."

I shrug and frown at the thought of my garden. I really do miss it, it was my little place of peace. "I was hoping that I could start a small indoor garden when I get my own apartment again. It won't have everything like the lettuce, carrots and tomatoes but I can do some herbs at least and maybe a small strawberry plant. Although, if I contact Alonzo in Amity he might be able to help me crossbreed some beefsteak tomatoes with the cherry tomatoes again. I did give him the process so at the very least the fucker owes me some plants."

I hear snickers and Ash winks at me "So violent about some plants."

I narrow my eyes at him and get serious. "Well when you spend time to research, pollinate and cross pollinate in a frigid ass lab then you can talk to me Ash. I wanted my tomatoes."

Logan chokes on his drink and tries to not laugh at me. "I wish I could say she is playing but she can turn down right violent."

Eric leans in to whisper "Remember what I said about that mind of yours…" I turn to look at him and sure enough his eyes have that look in them, I gulp and blush. He laughs and shrugs. "We can figure something out."

I smile as I notice Lynn lean into Ash and they smile and brush against each other. I thought they had been getting closer. I wonder when they will say something. I take a bite and grin.

Shauna interrupts my thoughts when she gets my attention smiling at me with anticipation. I look at her and around the table and frown and feeling frustrated. Didn't I just go through this. "Fuck! Fucking Deja Vu! What now?" I yell.

Tris looks at me and frowns looking a bit hurt "Why didn't you tell me?"

I look at her worried "Tell you what sweetie?"

She looks to Lauren and Shauna. "You don't forget these kinds of things right? I mean we never celebrated them."

Logan reaches out for my hand and smiles sadly. "She did forget, she never liked this day."

"Oh FUCK! No guys….no no no no no no" I yell and try and get up but strong hands push me down and Eric makes a calming noise.

"We aren't going to torture you Lia. We are just going to take you and everyone else out for a few drinks ok? No big deal, no fuss made. Right guys?" He gave his glare to everyone and they all nodded.

I swallowed hard and looked around. "Not one utterance of happy anything, right? It's just a night out."

Shauna and Lauren hug me from the side and Zeke smiles before nudging Uri to agree as well. Once everyone has agreed I eat my dinner but with a pit in my stomach. Eric's leg is pressed against mine and he briefly puts his hand on my knee and squeezes before he starts to eat again then picks up his tablet to read emails.

I hate this day with every fiber of my being. I have hated my birthday ever since my dad beat my mother to death on this same day when I was nine and then tried to do the same with me.

Mar and Lynn start arguing about what they are going to put Tris and I in and Clary joins in smiling at me.

Lynn looks at me and Tris and pouts. "So Tris told me that the last time we went out she got to make out with you."

I see Ashe's jaw drop and food actually falls out of his mouth.

I heard drinks being spit out up and down the table and I felt Eric go stiff next to me, while Tris turned red. "Lynn you weren't supposed to tell everyone!"

Uri cleaned up the drink he spit out looking between us. "Why wasn't I there? How could I have not been there? Mar you said I could watch you if you ever made out with Talia, you promised!" He whined and Mar was frowning at Tris.

"How did that happen?" Mar demanded.

My mouth was hanging open and going back and forth between everyone. "Are you shitting me? Who else here plans on trying to make out with me when I am drinking?"

If I thought my mouth hung open before it dropped even more when EVERY girl at the table raised their hands, even Tris. Well not Lauren, but even Shauna. What really floored me was there were a few tables with girls I didn't know that had their hands raised.

"Put your hands down! No one is making out with me tonight! Maybe never again! I'm never drinking again!" I yell turning red and there is laughter all around.

Tris pouts, seriously full on pouts. "I liked it. You have soft lips."

I sigh and bury my head in my hands and try not to go red all over "Thanks I guess" I mumble.

"Seriously it was the hottest thing ever and I have seen some hot things. They were dancing and got really close. But Talia looked like she just got taken over by the music and started doing this thing with her hips that I don't even know how she did. And the music stopped and Tris just grabbed her face and started kissing her for all she was worth. If Logan hadn't held me back I probably would have been doing the same thing." Clary turned all dreamy.

I heard Eric mumbling something like over his dead body and it deepened my embarrassment.

"Can this…." I motion to the table "entire conversation be over with please I beg of you all."

I look up and Peter is standing at the end of the table not looking happy, with a busted lip and a bruised eye that I know I didn't give him. I see Molly standing over his shoulder smirking at me.

"I need to talk to you Talia." He won't meet my eyes and I look him over, my lip curled and shaking my head.

I already know and to be honest I expected it. There was something about our whole relationship that had always bothered me besides me having strong desires for Eric and Peter's obvious behavior. Peter had some kind of secret that made him act the way he did and caused him to need to hide our relationship. I just couldn't put my finger on it. I had given him his chance though. I opened myself and would have put his own needs above my own. I have no compunction about walking away now.

"Nah, I don't think you do Peter. I think what needed to be said was said in the training room. You apparently made your decision. Or it was made for you." I looked over to Molly who must have seen something in my eyes that had her scampering away.

"It's not that simple…" he starts saying and I hold up my hand and he stops.

"I don't particularly give a fuck. Go Peter." My tone is cold, menacing and completely dismissive. I don't look at him as I wave him away and he doesn't say anything else. He just walks away and back to his fucking friends.

I eat some more of my pie and everyone is quiet although I can hear growling from Eric and the cracking knuckles from further down my table.

When I look up Lynn and Ash are being held in their seats by Uri and Zeke and they are whispering in their ears. I sigh and smile at everyone.

"Don't say anything it's fine. It is what it is right. Honestly, I expected it and am sort of relieved. Oh and if makes anyone feel any better I am sure Zeke or Four could get the footage of my getting an uppercut on him so hard he flew back a few feet and landed on his ass." I shrug and say to the group. Just to get them from looking at me I threw that out there. I can vaguely hear them bugging Zeke to get that from Four.

I don't look at anyone after that though. I feel my phone going off and I chance looking at it thinking it is Peter but it's Eric from right beside me. I turn to look at him and smile.

' _You can still face him in the final on the obstacle course, or I can take him out right now. You will be pissed for a few hours but I will feel better.'_ He writes and I shake my head.

' _Nope, I got this…I'm fine really.'_

My phone goes off again and this time I know it is Peter trying to give me some bullshit excuse or reason so I don't answer. I smile at Tris as she puts her hand over mine.

"I can't have been that good of a kisser Tris, it must have been the shots." I say laughing and she turns red and shrugs.

The quietness of our table goes away as chatter resumes. Eric had taken my chin in his hand and made me look at him for a minute before he smiled and nodded at me. "I'll see you in a bit, gotta go take care of some paperwork before I head over to Zeke's."

I smile at him and he slightly moves his thumb over my lips before he nods at Shauna. Zeke walks out with him and then comes back a few minutes later.

Pretty soon Tris and I are being frog marched to the dorm with our whole group there. Lauren and Shauna start going through our clothes and Zeke and the guys form some kind of shield to keep Peter from coming over to me. Lauren and Tris pack my bag and hers as well for the weekend because we apparently won't be coming back to sleep here. Then when everything is packed we head out. My last glimpse of Peter is him with his back against his headboard and a look of misery and anger on his face as he follows my movements out of the door. I don't even feel bad, he made his choice and now he can live with it. I won't dwell on it or allow myself to be hurt by him anymore. I tried to help him, but he might need to do this on his own.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 - Eric's POV**

 _I had just finished taking a shower and submitting the proposal for the survival training to the leaders for approval and budgets when I heard the knock on my apartment door._

 _I expected Zeke but not Four to be with him. I quirked an eyebrow but motioned them in. Zeke handed me Lia's bag._

" _What brings you both here?" I say after I take the bag and put it on the chair in my room._

" _Just bringing that but Shauna wants you two to pick up something that Tali will drink that the other girls will too. Tris will drink whatever Tali does so we just really need to worry about her." Zeke rolls his eyes._

 _I laugh at that knowing that was the truth. Those two might as well have been born twins. "They could just not drink stuff that will rot teeth. But I seriously have no clue here." I rub the back of my neck thinking. "Fuck well Daria mentioned something once and she pretty much is the same as Lia. Let me message Max and ask him what that shit she found she liked is. Was that it? Did Peter give her any shit in the dorm?"_

 _Four shook his head as I typed my question to Max. "No I don't think he was going to try and talk to her with everyone there anyways. I don't know what his game is in general. But his feelings for Talia were genuine and not expected I think, at least based on his fear sims they seem real. Sucks for him he just made one of them come true." Four said grinning wickedly and not really sorry that it happened. "Really threw a wrench in his old man's plans if there were any. Why he thought Peter would even be considered for leadership is beyond me. Even if he was in the number one slot they don't go by ranking anymore. That has been clearly defined since the last initiation group came through two years ago."_

 _I nod thinking 'no shit' "Any word on that girl that he has supposedly been spending time with?"_

 _Zeke shrugs "Far as we can tell she is Molly's sister. Not that much older than Peter and Molly and barely got in on the last group before the age change. She barely made it through initiation and we weren't cutting then either. She works on the fence so she doesn't even have a good position. To be honest I think he is just a pussy that lets himself get bullied around by his father and by his friends."_

 _I get my response from Max and look up to Zeke and Four looking at me with worried expressions "What?"_

" _You aren't trying to go and beat Peter black and blue. Not a normal response for you." Four shrugs._

 _I stand there thinking of how to put this "Lia fought herself on this guys. She knew a while ago she didn't really want to be with Peter. She almost ended it the night of capture but because of what was going on with us she didn't. It was convenient reason for her to either not admit what she felt or not end things with Peter. He was never my biggest opposition in this, she was. Regardless I still hate the shit and if he ever tries to do anything with her then yeah I will leave him in a bloody mess and not bat an eyelash about it."_

 _I scratch my head in annoyance."If we were fucking cutting he would be the first ass out of the door. That isn't happening so unless he quits I have to deal with him. The only thing I am worried about is his friends because while he might be a pussy I don't think he would actually hurt Lia. He probably does have real feelings for her but is too much of a punk, like you guys say, to man up and do something about them. His friends aren't going to give a shit how he really feels about her if they decide to arrange for an accident for her though. That is my focus right now and the only reason we aren't announcing the leadership in training change. I don't want even more of a target painted onto her, Logan, and Ash than there already is. Tris too she is going to be targeted once they get wind she has been selected for the Council Ambassador. Since that is a new position being created by all the factions. She will represent us specifically on the council and those decisions made there affecting us and that will paint a target on her even if she isn't technically a Leader."_

 _Four nods and sighs "Well, the girls will probably be a little longer, but we need to get this and get over there before they decide they need something else."_

 _Zeke frowns "Great, just leave me alone with all the girls. Uri and Logan are claiming they need to take care of things in the dorm for a bit longer. Uri and Ash are off doing something in shopping. So it is just me...great."_

 _I walk into my room to grab the jacket Lia had bought me and very smugly handed to me. I already had on the shirt she bought me with the jacket. I loved both but it was not something I could wear every day. She had rolled her eyes and said that was the point._

 _I took a moment to think about tonight. I had already been nervous about tonight because I barely restrained myself the last time she was here in the apartment and now that she no longer had Peter as a restraint in her mind it would be harder for me. Not only would it be hard to resist her in general but I hadn't had sex in over a year between the shit with Erudite and trying to clean house and deal with that aftermath._

 _Add to the fact that I couldn't even bring myself to try or want to try with someone else from the moment I laid eyes on her, my body felt like it would explode from the want of her. I meant what I told her though when I said we weren't going there until she accepted my terms I just hoped I could keep the will power because gods help me if I got a taste I wouldn't ever stop. Guess we would see one way or the other tonight._


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28 - Lia's POV**

Shauna and Zeke have a fairly large apartment and in one room Zeke has allowed her to turn it into a big closet with a wall of mirrors, tables and chairs for makeup and racks for clothes and shoes. When our group started coming here and there were more girls they added a few more tables around the room for all of that crap. I told Shauna if I ever had a spare room I would stick to a home gym, office or garden. That I didn't need something like this because I would just be over here anyways.

I stand in front of that wall of mirrors and look at myself from different angles. They finally got me into a dress because I am for sure wearing one now. They hadn't even let me argue because it was in a box waiting for me already. In fact the entire outfit I had on was waiting and I had no clue where my bag was. But thankfully it wasn't wrapped or any crap like that.

There was a lot of messaging going on and Lauren smiling so I sigh and message her a question. The box had been the clue.

' _Eric bought this didn't he?'_

She sighs and replies that yes he wanted to get me something nice but knew it wouldn't be proper coming from him with things between Peter and I. He had apparently picked the dress out, but had her get the right size and then shoes. Then all the girls went in on the jewelry and undergarments for it. I smiled and told her I was ok with it and I loved everything. I hated my birthday but I loved them, so I wouldn't ruin this for them.

When Eric had bought the blanket and sweater I had asked him to not do that anymore after Peter had frowned at my new blanket. He had crawled into bed with me and something felt wrong about him sleeping with me while Eric's blanket was wrapped around me.

So I took the blanket off and folded it up to put away. Just like I did the sweater Eric got me. Peter didn't say anything to me but I could feel how tense he got as he watched me turn red and put it away. Eric had been super fucking pleased when he forced me to tell him why I was asking him to stop. He stopped buying clothes, but made up for it in foods or other little things. He was as stubborn as I was.

The dress itself was fairly simple. It was a black dress with spaghetti straps and sweetheart neckline. It went down to just above the knees. It hugged every curve I had but also had midriff cut outs so it made it look like it was a top and skirt only it was really one dress. It showed the right amount of cleavage and highlighted my toned abdomen that I worked so hard to get and maintain. I was still tan so that looked good with it too.

I did my makeup a little different to give me a smoky eye and put a red color on my lips without putting it on too thick. It just made them look a bit fuller and lightly red. The lipstick wouldn't leave marks or traces because it was a lip stain. The earrings the girls got me were simple silver dangle earrings with a square shaped bloodstone and a matching necklace that was simple silver and one bloodstone pendant.

I pulled on the low heeled burgundy shoes that were with the dress and they had brought the burgundy colored leather jacket I already had. My hair had been left down except one side that was pulled back with a silver comb. The comb looked almost antique but had five bloodstones on it in the middle of an engraved pattern of the infinity symbol.

I even liked the perfume that Eric had picked out that had this slight citrus scent to it and reminded me of my rooftop garden at night.

My garden and where it was became something we had talked about often during our messages to each other. I think he has gone there at some point from how he talks about it and things that could be changed about any other gardens I/we create. He never fails to put in the 'we' part of our conversations and I stopped trying to act like I was bothered by it. That might have been the first clue within the last three weeks it was time to end things with Peter. It might explain why I didn't expect him to hold to what he said.

I sat on one of the couches and cross my legs waiting for Tris and the others to finish. I pull out my phone to check the messages and like I thought Peter has messaged me. I still don't want to talk to him and have moved beyond things already. But he says he wants to try and at least prove he can be his own man. He won't ask me back or try for that but he isn't going to keep the relationship with his friends either. I told him that if he wants to do that he should. Maybe one day we can be friends but it won't be anytime soon. In the meantime I made it clear I wouldn't be waiting for him and I was going to live my life.

I feel freer now that Peter isn't an issue. I am still scared of Eric and I. Scared of the passion and the loss of control but over the last few weeks I think I have realized that I was trying to compartmentalize all of the Eric's I knew. My feelings for Eric started well before I set foot in Dauntless but they had started as a feeling of admiration and hope. He was my hope that no matter what I had done that there could still be good in me and in our world. I would need to talk to him about that. I had a feeling that it would need to be soon, before things went any further between us. I can't deny that it was going to happen though. Not anymore. As soon as Peter walked to the table the heaviness on my heart had lifted and I felt relief that I didn't have to fight anymore.

As I waited I started sending messages to Eric and he tells me about his meetings at Erudite today. I read about him being pissed he has to go to some leadership dinner next week that is somewhat formal. I try to be funny and point out he could probably get booze as well as getting laid out of it. He doesn't like the joke and says he could get that here and now if he wanted to. Not that I really wanted him to do that but I haven't exactly been fair with things so if he wants to I don't want to try and stop him even if I could. I chew the inside of my lip trying to come up with a response but am interrupted by Tris' laugh.

I look at Tris as she twirls in her slightly girly dress in a dark purple that is tight up top and a halter style but goes to just above her knee and has a light lace material on top that twirls when she spins in it. I laugh as her eyes light up.

My phone goes off again and I laugh when I see Eric's message and demand of if we 'are done yet in there'. I guess he is here then.

Shauna goes out and then comes back in smiling with drinks for all of us and I wrinkle my nose when I see it is some type of wine.

"Just try it Talia. It doesn't all have to be hard liquor or beer." Lauren laughs. I take the glass and sniff it. It is a clear color and doesn't smell too bad. Tris and I both take tentative sips. I hang my head in defeat afterwards.

"Dammit!" I growl and the girls laugh.

"Ah ha! She likes it!" Shauna shouts and laughs. Shonda and Lauren clink glasses in triumph and I smile at them. I take this moment to just enjoy. This was what I fought for, who I fought for and who I will always fight for.

"Yes dammit. It is fucking delicious." I shrug and drink some more as Lynn takes a last look at herself.

Now that all the girls are ready we walk out and into the living room and I hear Eric shout. "Fucking finally!"

I laugh and sip from my glass as I walk in beside Tris who walks over to stand beside Four; who is smiling at her and practically beaming at her in his own way. She blushes and he takes her hand then leans down to say something to her. They have started to be more open with their relationship when outside of the training room and Tris has never looked more beautiful than when she is smiling at him.

My stomach flutters a bit when I see Eric stand to walk over to me. His face is calm but his eyes are full of that desire I see when he looks at me at times. There is something else as well that I am coming to know and I think it is love, what I have been denying he could possibly feel for me. He stands in front of me and smirks at me.

"So I did pick a good one." He said in a voice that was anything but smug, more like he could barely get the words out they were so husky.

I smile at him "I love it Eric. Thank you."

He shrugs and smiles "You're welcome. But I think I am getting the better end of the deal here. I mean, I get to see you in it."

I blush a bit and he winks at me. I still can't get used to him saying stuff like that in messages much less in person. He sips on his glass of whiskey, which is his usual if he isn't drinking beer. He has the tight long sleeved leather jacket I bought him. Since he bought me clothes I had started to do the same thing. It comes down to his waist but is a bit dressier then what he normally wears. Under that he has the black shirt I got him that was slightly dressier as well than a normal t-shirt. It is more of a light sweater material and clings to his chest. I feel my eyes get a bit heavy lidded just looking at him and in something I bought for him. It is like staking my claim. I smirk at the thought.

Without thinking I reach out and take the hem into my fingers so I can feel how the material is between them. I had walked closer so that I could take everything in and because I liked being close to him. He had been gone all day for meetings and dinner was the first time since breakfast I had seen him.

"Do you like it?" I look up to see him smiling at me.

I blush and smile. "It looks good. It's soft, the material I mean. The question is do you like them?" I motion to the jacket and shirt and he smiles then leans down and kisses my cheek.

"Love them, thank you." He says softly next to my ear then straightens back up.

He grins and reaches out to take my hand lightly in his and we both sip our drinks. "She got you to drink it?"

I looked at my glass and laughed. "Yeah, I was so upset that I liked it too. Shonda and Lauren are acting like it is some big triumph. She didn't know what it was a called though."

Eric pulled me over to the only chair that was free as people were now sitting talking and enjoying their drinks before we all headed out. It was still pretty early by Dauntless standards so we weren't in a rush. He pulled me lightly onto his lap to sit but we didn't lean all the way back, more like we just perched on the chair together ready to leave.

He smiled at me and took another sip of his glass "She didn't get it is probably why."

I looked at him surprised "So you got it?"

He shrugged "Well Shauna sent Four and I to get something that wasn't beer or any of the other things you drink that the other girls, excluding Tris, won't. I remembered Max's wife talking about how she hates pretty much everything you do but loved that. I had to message her for the name and where to get it but yeah I picked it up. How does it taste anyways?"

I smile and hold the glass for him to try and we switched glasses. I took a sip of his and sighed loving the taste but he shrugged after he sipped mine. "Not bad. I think I will stick to my whiskey though thanks."

I scowled at him as he took his glass back and he chuckled. I took mine back and sipped as we listened to a story Lauren was telling about a Dauntless-born and their training today in the regular group. I felt my arm being moved so that it went around Eric's neck and shoulders.

I smile at him and he leaned close to me. "You look beautiful by the way, but you always do." He presses a kiss to my cheek and lingers there for a moment. "Are you ok really Lia? If he hurt you..."

I shake my head "No. Maybe it should have hurt more when it happened but for some reason it didn't. I was a bit pissed but emotionally it didn't hurt." I finish in a whisper and I feel him sigh in relief.

"He's an idiot. And one day he will regret it but it will be too late."

I start to say something else that I wanted to tell him about it all. But then everyone finishes their drinks and starts to stand to leave. I drink the last bit of my wine and Eric tosses back the rest of his whiskey as we stand to join the others.

I am sure that walking down to The Pit people wonder about the group of us, especially when Eric and Four are in that group and aren't scowling at each other or fighting. Everyone that is a couple is paired off and even a few that aren't couples are paired off with people they had brought in to the group recently.

Lynn had just told Tris and I she was bi and she had started dating Ash. I was extremely pleased and had wondered about them spending so much time together. They were sort of cute together since Lynn was pretty hardcore and he matched her in that aspect. When they were together though, they became like teenagers.

Hector and Lauren were getting pretty serious. Connor and Shonda were on their way there but they were content to enjoy the newness of the relationship.

Four didn't seem to mind holding Tris' hand as they walked along ahead of us and she was over the moon about it. She had told me they had been getting a bit more physical lately and that she didn't seem to mind as much as she thought she would. I think her becoming as close to everyone as she did has changed her in that she doesn't look at things from the abnegation viewpoint but rather a mix of the two. Her dauntless side though has been emerging strong and that strength doesn't make her hard or cruel, it has made her strong and beautiful. I am sure it helped that she and Four had known each other before and had loved each other.

What did surprise me was Eric openly showing his….wanting of me? He had his arm wrapped around my waist and had pulled into his side as we walked and would lean close to me and whisper jokes or observations that made me laugh and him smile. Eric smiling brought more looks than him being with me.

There was a very tense moment as we all had crossed The Pit and I saw Peter on a group of rocks. I felt Eric tense and then I noticed that Peter was with that same girl, he called her Alice.

"Fucking punk." Eric growled and started after him and I held him tighter to me and shrugged.

"I don't care Eric. Really I don't." I made him look at me. "Tell me if you see me crying right now?"

He shakes his head "You better not have been, but still how …"

I can tell the minute Peter must have noticed us because I see our friends start to go after him but Eric gets this shit eating grin on his face and looks at me.

"Don't think for one second what I am about to do isn't because I absolutely have been wanted to do this again." He growls just before he crashes his lips to mine and kisses me. Demanding me to let his tongue have entrance and holding me close to him as his hand goes to cup my ass. I don't even fight it. In fact I pull him closer to me just as he is pulling me closer.

I hear a few coughs behind us and Eric lets go long enough to make some gesture with his hand. Then he moves his hand to tangle in my hair as I hear laughing. But we keep kissing and taking turns licking and sucking each other's bottom lip into our own mouth. When we finally break apart he doesn't let me go and we don't look at anyone else but each other.

"You know you aren't spending the night at Shauna's right? Your bag is already at my place." He smirks at me.

"What if I had said no?" I quirk an eyebrow at him but my lips are turned into a smile.

"You wouldn't have, even before that kiss." He leans closer to my ear. "Tell me I am wrong."

I shake my head "You aren't wrong."

"Can we go get drinks now please?" Tris begs and I laugh and turn to her and nod.

Eric wraps me back in his arm and pulls me back to him as we start back to walking to the club. The second Eric brought his lips to mine I had forgotten Peter had even been there. I don't even think to look for him as we walk away either. If I had, I would have seen the look of defeat and longing on his face before the girl tugged on his arm and the mask he wore for everyone else slipped back on as he turned back to her and left the pit.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

The night was pretty fun and I was either dancing with Eric or with Tris. Eric was the only one I ended up making out with though. He did get me to take a few tequila shots when he said we could make them body shots. Tris had watched closely then had asked Four if they could try a few and he didn't protest but he wasn't exactly comfortable either.

Eric's favorite place had been my neck although he kept eyeing my abdomen. I did a few from his neck as well. I got carried away once when I sucked the salt from the webbing of his thumb and finger and I had ended up sucking gently on his thumb itself. That had caused me to be pulled into his lap and made out with for a good ten minutes.

I knew he wanted to leave right after that but he didn't because he knew the girls wanted me to stay out longer and dance more. The guys gathered around the bar and watched as we danced and like before I was able to just lose myself in the music and dance. Sometimes one of the girls would come in close to dance with me, mostly Tris. But usually if Eric wasn't on the dance floor with me I was by myself. I had taken my jacket off pretty much as soon as we got in and Eric had it put behind the bar along with his. I had loved the feel of his chest without a vest or jacket pressed against me.

The DJ had started to play a slower love song and I felt his hands go around me and pull me to him until my chest was against his and he moved us as he kissed me. I broke the kiss and pulled away, I could feel him growl but I just turned around and pulled him against me so that his chest was against my back. I leaned back into him and started moving my hips to the music, letting him grind into me from behind and move his hands over me. He loved the cut outs on the dress that were right at my abdomen. I could feel him smile into my neck when he moved my hair and began to kiss, bite, and suck me there. Especially when I would moan and gasp for him. When the song ended he pulled me away from the dance floor and gave me a pointed look to tell everyone bye.

I made sure to hug all the girls and hugged Tris who would be staying with Four. I think he could tell by my look I was worried for her. Four whispered that he didn't plan on them doing anything unless she wanted it and I nodded and gave him the same knife speech Tris did to Peter. Eric got impatient and started to tug my hand and we left when he started to threaten to just throw me over his shoulder and carry me out. He would have done it I had no doubt so I made sure to hurry and the others were laughing as we left.

I wasn't drunk but I wasn't completely sober either. I felt pretty buzzed and that had whatever nerves I might have be dulled a little. Still when we go into his apartment I wasn't sure what to do. I just took off my heels and Eric took his boots off then put our jackets up before he went to the refrigerator and pulled us two bottles of beers out and then pulled me back onto his couch.

He didn't try to pressure me into anything and seemed content to let us drink the beers while he put on some music to listen to. I sat on his lap as we relaxed back and I ran my hands through his hair and over his neck and loved the humming in his chest as he had his eyes closed and relaxed.

"Was this year any better for you?" He asked quietly.

I sighed with a nod. "Yeah, I didn't want to completely hide in a deep dark hole and forget it and I exist."

He nods and raises his head and looks at my exposed stomach running a finger over the tip part of my tattoo he could see. "Never really cared for my own either. This year was good though."

I frowned. "When was yours?"

He smiled and shrugged. "The night I made you stay here."

I would have said why didn't you tell me, but I know why I wouldn't have told anyone. So I didn't try and say something hypocritical.

"Neither of us has to spend it alone again. And we don't have to feel pressure to make some big damn deal out of it either." He whispered and nuzzled my neck.

"Lia…did you love him?" He pulled back and looked at me seriously while he cupped my cheek.

I shook my head and smiled "No not even close to it."

He didn't ask any more questions, he put our beers down and just stood with me in his arms then carried me into his room where he stood me up and then slowly undressed me.

He started with unzipping the dress and letting it fall to the ground. I pulled his shirt up and he took it off the rest of the way and I looked at his pants and smiled. He rolled his eyes and unbuttoned them and let them fall and stepped out of them as well as his boxers before he pulled the covers back and down his bed and lifted me up to put me in the center of it. He took my breathe away and I felt a bit of apprehension about his size now that I was actually seeing it.

I looked back to his chest and my eyes widened as I gasped. "Eric?" I moved closer and put my hand to his chest.

His eyes were watching me closely and he gave a soft smile. "Connor told me about the drawing Lia. I didn't just get it because it was a match. Though I will be honest there was no fucking way I was letting someone else have a matching tattoo with you."

I felt his heart pick up as I traced over the pattern of the tattoo I had drawn to be a compliment to mine. The rods, pistons, gears and cogs that made up the bones, ribs and shoulder starting from just at his left shoulder and down into his chest over his heart. It moved over his ribs to the side and down his abdomen. Instead of there being a curtain to reveal this, the flesh was being ripped back to reveal underneath. The part that was the standout when I made it was where the heart would be. I kept that as a real pulsing and vibrant thing. I could admit to myself that I knew I had him in mind when I drew it. What had me gasping though was that in the heart, where I had originally had the words 'Heart of a Warrior' he had instead put something else, Lia.

My voice was heavy with emotion as were my eyes "Why did you get it then Eric? I need to know if you know…"

He grinned and cupped my cheek, interrupting me. "Because you and I have made ourselves hard or we were forced into it at first. Because we were being shaped into something but then we keep that going on our own. Because of the way Dauntless are always training and what we put our bodies through. What really made me want it was because that even with that, it captured that I am still human Lia. No one has ever really been able to see that before. Beneath what I had to become to make Dauntless strong."

I don't answer him with words my instead press my lips to the space on his heart and then twine my arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. I moan at the feel of us against each other and his hands running along my body as our mouths claim each other.

He pulls back and looks me over panting. I still had my underwear on but no bra since the dress had one built into it and Shauna had insisted that it would ruin it. Eric frowned when he realized that I wasn't wearing one.

"I would never have allowed us to go to the club if I had known that. I wouldn't have been able to think of anything else." He growled as he started to kiss along my neck and began to cup each breast in a hand one at a time.

I gasped and moaned "Shauna was trying to talk me into not wearing underwear either, but Lauren talked her out of that."

"Fuck. Remind me to thank her then for helping me keep my sanity for a little bit longer." He whispered as he started to lick and suck on one nipple while caressing my other breast and rolling the hard nipple between his fingers.

I moaned and arched my back and I heard his deep sigh as he finally was able to see my tattoo for the first time.

"Damn I have been kept up at night thinking about this. Both of them." He kissed his way down to my abdomen at first and then moved his hands to roll my blood red lace thong underwear off of me.

"My tattoos?" I gasped as he turned me so that he could trace it with his fingers and mouth.

"Mmhmm, when you mentioned where it was it was all I could think about. Then I saw the sketch in George's apartment when I was hanging out there. I had already had him working on the same damn tattoo on my back and I got pissed when he said someone else had it too."

He placed kisses over the portion that curved along with my ass "Then he said that it was you and I scared him with how pleased I was by that and my smile. He was protective of you enough to threaten me. But I couldn't think straight for how much I needed to see it. Then after I got your design, I just wanted to see this so fucking bad, it's perfect baby." He finished as he came back up to take my mouth in another kiss but this time he lay down beside me on the bed.

He pulled back and kissed my neck. "God I have wanted you from the moment I saw you. And when we were on that roof it just got even worse. You looked like you were about to kick my ass and it drove me crazy."

I smiled and pulled him back to me and sucked his bottom lip in and then kissed him hungrily as his hands roamed my body until he started to tease me by lightly stroking around my folds. I broke this kiss gasping.

"I wanted to kick your ass so bad." I panted and he chuckled as he leaned over took one of my nipples in his mouth at same time as he spread my folds and let his fingers stroke my clit.

My nails raked his neck as I cried out in pleasure and he silenced me by roughly taking my mouth again as he continued to stroke me and I felt myself becoming wetter and slightly more frantic.

I moaned as he pressed one finger into me slowly. "Does that feel good?" He asked me, hovering his mouth right above mine.

"Yes Eric, it …" I gasp as he starts to move it in a little faster.

"I love the way you moan Lia." He began to slowly work in another finger. "That night after the bar, were you thinking of me?"

My fingers dug into him and gasped "You…heard?"

I felt him nod and my body flushed in desire and embarrassment and I couldn't answer him. He stopped moving his hand in me and started to withdraw. "Were you thinking of me Lia?" He demanded an answer.

"Yes god dammit Eric. Yes, I wanted you so bad I had to. I had never done that before." I groaned out and licked my lips.

He pulled back to look at me I was treated to a very up close look at the lust in his eyes he had radiated during that first lunch. He grinned as he plunged his fingers back in me and growled. "Good. Because I did the same thing after I left the dorm and heard you say my name."

I couldn't help the smile that came over my lips and my eyes closed as I neared the breaking point. "Open your eyes Lia." He demanded again.

I moaned and opened them just as I reached my orgasm and he kept pumping into me until my body stopped convulsing around his finger.

He took my mouth again roughly and pushed my legs open and moved between them. He brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them and closed his eyes. "Fuck you taste good. But that will have to wait. I want you Lia, but I want you to tell me you want me, say it now." He had placed his arms on either side of me and had leaned over to be closer to me. His voice might be a whisper but I recognized the command.

I ran my hands up his arms to his neck and wrapped them around him. "I want you more than I have words to describe Eric. My body craves you."

He smirked down at me and took my mouth in another kiss and one hand reached down between us. I felt him rub the head of his length against me and we both moaned into each other at the first contact of ourselves. He let his length slide along the surface of my core in a slow pumping motion twice. He broke our kiss and looked into my eyes "Talia, say you're mine now. No one else's. Please?" That wasn't a command it was a plea.

I had been on fire the moment he had started to kiss me but now there was this burning in my heart and while it scared the shit out of me I couldn't deny it any more. "You already know I am Eric. I was the one that didn't know. Not really, not until tonight."

He growled and started to press into me gently while he claimed his kiss. I cried out when he broke through my barrier and he had started to stop but I wrapped my legs around him as I pulled him towards me.

"Don't stop Eric, please." I growled into his mouth and he shook his head.

"Never" He plunged the rest of the way in and stilled long enough for me to adjust to him. We moved against each other again and I moved my hips like I had on the dance floor.

I wasn't content to just hold on and let him take control. I would push my body up to meet his thrusts. I raised my head up to kiss and suck on his neck and when I felt a shock of intense pleasure I would bite along his shoulder.

He let his hands roam me cupping my breasts and rolling the nipples in his fingers. He would give my neck and shoulders the same treatment from time to time and smile when my moans and gasps got louder when he would hit certain spots on my neck and inside of me as well. His hand went to my hair and he wrapped it up then tugged it and exposed my neck even more. That was when I felt the first wave threatening me.

"Fuck you feel so good Lia. Gods damn I am so close." He growled as if pissed that he couldn't control it.

My nails raked on his back when he picked up the pace and was thrusting into me harder. My walls closed around him signaling I was about to shatter and he pulled back from sucking on my neck and looked at me.

"Open your eyes now Lia. Open them and cum for me baby."

My eyes snapped open. I was moaning his name as he smiled at me and moved his hips in a different direction that caused him to hit a spot deep inside me I came undone.

"Oh shit…Eric…." I practically screamed. He grinned then took my mouth again as he went so deep into me it was almost painful and then spilled into me.

My body shook with the aftershocks of my orgasm and the tenderness he displayed as he gently untangled himself from me but didn't let me go for one second. Instead he lay down and pulled me to him so that my chest was against his side and my arm and leg was draped over him. He pulled the covers over us and laid there kissing my forehead, eyes, jaw and mouth softly.

I was still trying to catch my breath and this attention just kept taking it away, but I loved it.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

 _He pulled the covers over us and laid there kissing my forehead, eyes, jaw and mouth softly._

 _I was still trying to catch my breath and this attention just kept taking it away, but I loved it._

"Did I hurt you?" He rasped out trying to catch his breath too.

My head was in the crook of his neck and I placed small kisses to it then shook my head "What little pain there was; was almost pleasurable. Not sure why." I whisper.

I feel his body lose a tension I didn't know was there "Gods I was so worried about hurting you. I don't know how to be gentle."

I laugh a bit breathy. "I am not exactly the kind of girl that needs or wants gentleness all the time."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "No you aren't but I had no clue how it should be for a first time."

I nodded understanding. I had heard that some guys loved going after virgins while some wouldn't touch them because they didn't want to be someone's first.

"I guess you would fit into the category of you don't do virgins." I say a bit jokingly.

He shrugged "I did casual one night things and virgins aren't exactly the kind of girls that go for that. Do you really want to hear about this kind of shit?" He stopped talking after he realized that we were talking about other girls and then asked the last bit in a slightly annoyed voice.

I shrugged and laughed a little. "It doesn't bother me. I knew you were with other women. Like I told you I saw you in the bars with them…" I stopped because I was bothered by having to watch him with them. I just had also realized that I hadn't been fair to him either.

"I didn't know you were there Lia." He said in a pained voice.

"What? You would have stopped because I was there? Why? It wasn't like I didn't have the thing with Peter going on. That would have been me being a hypocrite. Besides it might have helped because seeing you with them had me feeling jealous. I had to realize I wanted you. It also helped me to realize that I hadn't been very fair to you." I finished with a frown.

He brought me in for a kiss and held me tighter. "I may have left with them but it never got any further than kissing. Like I said it wasn't for lack of me fucking trying but as soon as I would get out of the door and walk away from the bar; I would forget about them and walk off. Man did I get some shit about that from my friends."

He chuckled at me. "Connor and Hector couldn't fucking be any more pleased that I was basically so twisted over you."

I frown a bit not understanding really. "I don't think I understand really. I know you desired me Eric. Was it just because you couldn't have me?"

His look turned dangerous and he gripped my chin in his hand "You really think that had I wanted you just for that I couldn't have gotten it? Tell me honestly that night at the bar, if I had kept going would you have walked away if I didn't tell you to?"

I swallow and look into his eyes searching. "No I wouldn't have walked away. I didn't want to from the moment you touched me."

"Then don't forget that Lia and never say that to me again. I don't want to talk about some other girl I might have fucked because they were just a temporary relief. They used me just as much if not more than I used them. The difference here is you are mine Talia, and I am yours. Don't degrade or put yourself down again in front of me or let me hear you're doing it at all." His tone had gone from demanding and pissed too soft at the end.

I felt tears sting my eyes for the first time in forever. I don't cry so this caused me to frown. It felt good to have someone care for me in the way he does. Not a friend or family but someone that wanted me in the physical and the other part.

He was still waiting for an answer from me so I nodded and his thumb stroked away a tear that escaped "I won't Eric. I don't care about those girls either. But I won't feel like that should anyone try and touch you now, I might get violent."

He gave me his trademark smirk. "Good. But I don't plan on giving them an opportunity to. Lia, I don't plan on hiding this. So you better prepare for that because I won't go back to how we were before. You didn't like being kept a secret and I sure as hell won't put up with it."

I smile and nod. "I won't complain and if I do you will just make me do extra training sessions anyways."

He shook his head laughing. "I would say those were just excuses to touch you but I am not going to lie. I want you to do well. And I, as well as the other leaders, have plans for you. Although my plans are a bit more personal."

My brows furrow and I do a breathing count to calm down. I don't like the sound of major decisions being made for me, not after all that shit with me being forced to lead an assassin squad "What plans?"

He rolls his eyes. "You aren't stupid Lia. I am sure you have already figured it out with all the meetings you go to with us and learning the leadership role."

"Leadership? I am going to be offered a job in leadership?"

He shifts looking at me. "Well, you are already in the role for leadership. Just leadership in training. That is why I do the extra physical training one on one with you and all of the other things. You spending the day with Andrea in Candor, all of it is a part of the training. You are on track to be a full leader by the end of the year or at least in another three months."

I sigh and let my fingers lightly stroke his chest as I lay there thinking. He started to stroke my hair and play with the ends "Are you going to say something?" He asked quietly.

"Why me? When it started I had barely been here two weeks. I know that we were put through a series of tests within that first week. Was that to see if anyone had leadership qualities?"

He nodded and smirked. "Exactly, it was something new. We needed a leader in training because Leo is stepping down to spend time with his wife who is pretty sick. We didn't need it fast tracked exactly but Max wants to give him as much time as possible. We came up with the idea but weren't sure about this year's initiates. We got files on everyone from the former factions to help round out our information but you were a front runner along with Logan. He will still do well here, but we think he is going to be more geared for Intel. And don't worry, your issues weren't even factored in. Not in the way you think."

I kissed his chest and looked up at him. "What do you mean? They should be black marks like they were in Erudite."

I could tell the anger that flashed in his eyes wasn't anything to do with me. "Fuck Erudite. Look after both Four and I came here it was discovered…"

It was like my mind was flooding with understanding after I recalled Four's reaction to hearing about the abuse and then having to sit and listen to the incidents. I could see his mannerisms, his posture and voice when my past would come up. I saw the look of admiration and even a bit of jealousy when Tris and I went to his apartment for dinner and we were talking about me fighting back. During one of my stories of it he had gotten this haunted look like he had seen a ghost but it was really because he was seeing himself. "He was too? But he was Abnegation." I got a look of horror on my face. I would never have thought that faction was capable of it.

He smiled at me and nuzzled my neck. "What were the clue? Because he is damn good at hiding it?"

"When you said his name I got a rush of images all about my abuse but what I observed of him. Once Tris and I went to his apartment and had dinner. He looked like he was torn between admiration and jealousy when we talked about my fighting my father back. When he was listening to me give details. He had a tight anger about him the entire time. I could tell enough about him even then to know that if he was showing that much then he was really furious inside. But during one incident that I had to give details on he got this haunted look, almost like he saw a ghost. I didn't make the connection till just now that he was seeing a ghost in a way, the ghost of his own experience." I whispered.

"That is part of why we are training you Lia. You have a way of getting to the heart of things. You're smart for sure but the way you approach the resolution is Dauntless. I mean I know you have the whole divergent thing, but fuck who doesn't nowadays. Not that I am complaining because at least I don't have to hide anymore." He said that with a smile thinking he was about to shock me. But it doesn't because come on could he be any more obvious about the fact that he was both Erudite and Dauntless.

I shrug with a smirk. "You don't hide it as well as you think Eric. I knew from the minute you started taunting me. I saw it in your eyes, your look of calculation. You forget I was being trained to spot them too."

He grinned at me then shrugged. "I was pissed you seemed to be looking out for a stiff." He sighed a little. "I hated them because of all that shit with Four. I had already been watching you from the moment you cut your hand at the ceremony. You seriously looked like you were going to turn to the Erudite section and flip everyone off. Then damned if you and your two Erudite friends didn't surprise the shit out of all of us when you made it to the car that only Dauntless-born make it to. After that you couldn't have paid me to not keep my eye on you. I wanted you from the moment I saw you."

I let my hand trace patterns on his chest while he was talking and smiled against him. "When you were sitting next to me at lunch that day you just kept getting closer to me. I think it hit me then but I didn't notice until you got up to leave. The absence of you hit me hard. Then gods help me I would have let you take me right on that table after that look from you up on that balcony. In the infirmary you still had the look but it changed and I couldn't understand what it had become."

He sighed with a soft smile as if remembering that moment. "Other than wanting you it was wanting to protect you. I saw your strength and the fighter in you. Hell I could read that in those incidents. I hadn't even gotten to the last one to read it, and I think I am glad I didn't. I probably would have gone and killed him but Four wouldn't have been able to stop me like he did that day."

I frown into his chest. "Were you really going after him?"

"Fucking right I was, Lia. I couldn't think straight I was so enraged. And they just kept sending you back for fucking more because he was some respected and senior member. Four said that he understood and he was having to hold himself back too. That it wouldn't help you and if I really wanted to help then I need to stay away from him and focus on training you. I don't think he meant for the training to go where it ended up going but that was the other leaders suggestion, not mine. I did give my input and my recommendation of you first but they had already looked into you. It was decided they wanted you as the leader in training."

"How did you know I wouldn't be horrible or a waste of time?"

He looked over at me and quirked an eyebrow at me "Seriously? You're asking me that knowing what was already in your file? Add in the fighting back you did those last few years or the time he cornered you in the headquarters a year ago and we knew you had the physical skills. Logan had that included in his file too. So we know they were looking at you two to head the Erudite security they were trying to get started before the plug got pulled on that and the divergent hunts."

I tensed but he sensed it and pulled me to him. "Lia…" He sounded pained and I pulled him to kiss me softly.

"Eric I am going to tell you. Because you need to know before this goes any further." I pause and feel a bit panicked until he starts running his hands through my hair and massaging my scalp.

His heart and breathing sync with mine and I close my eyes to soak in the warmth and comfort from him.

After several minutes he sighs and presses a kiss to my forehead. "Do you want to talk about it Baby?"

I sigh and close my eyes tightly. "I don't know what you saw so I don't know what to tell you."

He squeezes me gently. "I saw that you saved us all Lia. You and your friends saved our city and my team. You shut down the drones and as many factionless as you could. You sent us the codes, the Intel, the name of the traitors in our faction. You personally cleared the way for my team, for me Lia."

I swallowed and sighed. "I also couldn't save all those Abnegation that the control sim wouldn't disable for on the factionless that was attacking them. Or stop the factionless that even when I did stop the sim, they did it anyways. I couldn't save the Erudite that fought alongside the Dauntless. I couldn't stop those bastards from making Alex, Terry and Dylan do those awful things. I tried to get them to send me Eric. So they wouldn't have to kill those people. But they were considered expendable and because they were less divergent. On purpose by the way and they were easily controlled."

Eric nodded and sighed. "That is part of being a leader too baby. You take the burden on yourself. You try and weigh it with the good that you did and do. And you did so much good Lia. I cannot tell you how proud I am of you. Even before I knew this. That's how you knew the phrase 'Justice Comes on Swift wings'?"

I nod and hold him tighter, remembering that day as if I was right there. "I saw you come in. This presence full of fury but it was controlled. When you heard Jeanine speak as the medic brought them around. I saw your body uncoil like you were going to strike and I had just been there myself Eric. I was in the vents. We had all gone into the vents but I needed to stay to make sure you got in and that they got taken. I saw you pull your gun just as I had done. I didn't speak the same words but I had the same thoughts. I watched you move in to get Jeanine and the others. Your face and eyes is what held me there. The battle you fought but the strength of character you had. The fierceness and the...the justice. I saw it flashing in your eyes. You restrained yourself because you knew justice needed to be served. It was the same reason I didn't pull the trigger when I had him kneeling before me that day. I had already admired you from afar Eric. Through what I knew about your operations to get the divergents out. I was in charge of getting Intel. Did you see that in my fear sim? That I couldn't stop them when you were getting George out?"

He swallowed and nodded then held me closer. "We would have never known they were there. I didn't know they even had the control sim working then enough to move the factionless or even they would have tried."

I nod as I frown deeply. "I couldn't stop every hunt. They didn't always send my team in but Jeanine always tried to keep tabs on Dauntless. I just redirected where I could."

I sigh and smirk as I glance at him. "And then I get on the roof and I knew you were taunting me; trying to provoke me. I was still on this high from staring at my father's face and knowing I was done. I don't know I just…there was something about how much you pissed me off but made me want you at the same time."

Eric chuckles and nods but then pulls me to him. He kisses me and looks at me seriously. "Lia, we are going to have to add this to the trial. But Andrea and I have worked to get it classified. Logan said...that the other guys, that they asked to be memory wiped."

My eyes fill with tears and I nod. "I tried so hard to protect them. To take as much of it on myself as I could. Eric, you have to understand something and I will be honest with you. I will not allow them to be brought into this again. If I am held as derelict of duty or impeding an investigation because I won't give up their names then so be it. I will lay down my life to protect them. I took a blood oath with them to promise them and Logan that I would stand watch. I will stand watch and if I have to give my life before they get dragged into this again then I will." My voice became fierce and even here in his arms my body was at attention.

He looked at me with eyes shining full of pride, love and admiration. "I won't let that happen baby. You and Logan will have to testify but we won't worry about that until after your final test. I give you my word though they won't be brought into it if I can help it."

I sag in relief and nod. I started thinking of something else to talk about and then I remembered something. "Hey!" I almost shouted and sat up to look down at him the covers flew off of us.

He frowned and tried to pull me back down and I shook my head. "You stole my tattoo mister! Now I get to see where you got it cause it isn't anywhere I can see right now."

I looked down on his very attractive and very naked self and licked my lips but then shook my head. "No I won't be distracted." He laughed and smirked at the same time. "Seriously, I want to see. And how did we end up with matching tattoos again? Not counting the ones that I made?" I said frustrated and he laughed again and sat up.

"I think it was just weird fucking coincidence to be honest. I saw the sketch hanging in the back room of the parlor when I went to visit George and wanted a few changes but we went ahead and set me up to get it. He had just made it. What the same day you transferred? I saw it that night after I left the club, after a pit stop home that is."

He turned and showed me his back. It was on the left side starting from just at the top of the neck and curling down the left side. The change they made was that the body wasn't as elongated and was a bit more curled into itself to allow the face of the dragon to be more forward facing and the body to fit. It had all the same features and coloring otherwise it even had the same symbols and the dauntless flames threaded around it.

I traced it with my fingers and smiled. It was for sure a matching one but with enough changes to it that it was completely Eric and more masculine. "When did you even start getting it? I had to squeeze in my sessions and some of them Tori had to do at her house in the early morning hours before training or on the off days."

He turned back to me when I had stopped and was smiling. "Pretty much the same but it was George for me. And I had already gotten it done when I saw the sketch with the changes hanging up in his apartment for one of our sessions. It was before the night I made you stay here."

He sat against the headboard and pulled me over to him. Then he was lifting me up like I weighed nothing and sat me on his lap so I was straddling him. "I was pissed because I thought, great now I have a matching tattoo with some random ass person. He started to tell me that it was one of my initiates and I knew almost as soon as he said those words. But I let him tell me about you and that you had fallen in love with it the moment you saw it but that you had wanted some changes. So he had changed both since it just fit the whole thing. I can't tell you how fucking pleased I was. I already thought of you as mine."

He started to kiss my neck as he talked. "You are mine." He moved his hands up my back and one went up to my hair and worked its way in leaving me moaning when he tugged it to pull my head back and exposing my neck exactly how he wanted it.

"You just didn't want to admit it." He whispered against my skin and then right at my pulse point he began to suck and lick knowing that between the hair and that spot it would immediately set me off.

I felt myself get wet instantly and my hips moved searching for him. I heard him chuckle and then his hands went to my waist and locked me in place tightly so I couldn't move. He leaned back away from me and my eyes snapped to his with my brow furrowed in frustration.

"Not until you say it Lia." I frowned at him which just made him grin and lean forward, still keeping his grip, he tilted me back and bent his head to flick his tongue over a nipple making another wave of pleasure and wanting flash through me. But he pulled away again. "You know what I want you to say. I have made it clear what I wanted to happen and what will happen."

"Eric, I'm not even through initiation…"

He stopped me by claiming my mouth "You are mine and I am yours. You know what needs to happen. What I want to happen."

I wrap my arms around his neck and my brow furrows in thought. "Can we not tell anyone that part until after then please?" I felt him tense "Not about us, I won't hide that either. Just about this? Lauren, Shauna, hell even Tris will go on this planning thing and I can't think about that now."

Amusement flooded his face right before he turned serious again. "There are events that are coming up that I will be taking you to and it will have to be announced at those."

There was the command again but I could accept that so I nodded and he gave a half grin. "Not good enough, I want to hear it Lia."

I took a deep breath and leaned in and kissed him deeply. Then I pulled away slightly until our foreheads touched but our lips were still poised ready for a kiss. "Yes Eric, I will marry you." I whisper.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying the story. I will continue on with it but would love some feedback. I will admit it drives me so am not ashamed to ask for it. :D As always though, thanks for the views, follows and favs!**

 **Chapter 31**

 _There was the command again but I could accept that so I nodded and he gave a half grin. "Not good enough, I want to hear it Lia."_

 _I took a deep breath and leaned in and kissed him deeply. Then I pulled away slightly until our foreheads touched but our lips were still poised ready for a kiss. "Yes Eric, I will marry you." I whisper._

I knew it was coming and he didn't disappoint as he brought me to him. Already hard for me and sheathed me onto him as his lips crashed to mine. The pleasure that wracked my body leaving me breathless for a moment as my mind was still reeling from this latest development.

In our conversations Eric had always made it clear he wanted me physically. But after the zip-lining incident the tone of his messages had changed into almost loving. He never said the words but even his actions of making sure I got the right foods or buying a blanket because I was cold, they all pointed to it.

He was also clear in that when I came to him it wouldn't be as a hook up, a secret, or even an ordinary girlfriend. He made it clear that when I came to his bed it would be as one thing the future Mrs .Coulter or Mrs. Coulter. He was so damn cocky and sure I was going to be his and I would sass back or be a smart ass about it or just stay in denial about it.

He was sure it would be ending with Peter sooner or later and when I realized, as Eric put it 'you can do better than that pussy', then I would stop fighting what was between us so much. When I did, he said, those were his demands. I told him on the train about me seeing him with those girls and he knew he wasn't going to put me through that again. But also he knew he didn't want anyone else. He wanted me and that was how he wanted us.

Apparently Eric got what he wanted when he decided he wanted something, I thought as he flipped us over and moved into me slowly.

The tone of our session this time was of slow enjoyment. It wasn't quite what someone would call making love because we were still us. We both still liked things a bit rough and we both got impatient enough that lovemaking by another person's standards would never be ours, but for us this was lovemaking.

When we both found our release I had a few more bite marks on my shoulders and he had some claw marks on his back and a bite mark on his shoulder. I was also getting a bit sore so he carried me to his bathroom and we took a shower together. He made sure that I was ok and gently washed my hair and the rest of me. I returned the favor and we exchanged kisses but didn't go any further.

Before we had slipped into bed Eric had sat watching me towel dry my hair and chewed on his lip a bit. I did what he had done to me in the infirmary and stopped him from biting on it. He smirked at me but then went to his room and came back with a box that made me go weak in the knees from nervousness.

He looked at me and frowned. "I wanted you to wear this from now on. Since you don't want to announce it just yet, I will settle for this weekend and then anytime we have meetings or events."

I looked up at him and saw he was just as nervous but also upset because it felt almost like a rejection of him. "Eric, I am not ashamed of this. I am shocked and it does feel a bit overwhelming to think about all of it together. Leadership, trying to finish initiation, my trying to hold you at arm's length; it all added up. But I am not ashamed of us or what we both want. If it means that much to you we can tell the others and I will wear that proudly. I really just don't want to be bombarded with plans for something that won't happen until after the regular groups initiation anyways."

He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. "What if I use my, what was it you called it, not resting bitch face?" He smirked at me and I laughed "Oh yeah, impassive Dauntless asshole face. What if I used that and made them promise upon pain of death, no planning? Would that help?"

I grinned happily, dimples showing."Yes actually because then I can tell my sister what I will be bursting to tell her."

He let out a breath of relief and smiled. "Want to see it?" He almost looked like what a young Eric might have looked like on Christmas had either of us really had those.

I quirked an eyebrow at him, still smiling. "Well, I am going to be wearing it so kind of have to see it to put it on."

He put the box on the counter and picked me up then put me on the counter and pulled me in for a kiss. "There is one other thing I need to say before I put this on you."

He still held me close but took the box and opened it up showing me the ring. "I am so not good with flowery shit so let me just say it straight out. I love you Talia and I won't have anyone else in my life I will ever feel that way about. So..." He plucked the ring out of the box and held it up "...to ask you in person and not message, because you know Lauren, Shonda and Shauna will go ape-shit about that little detail. Will you marry me Lia?"

I gave a small laugh when he mentioned my adopted mother and two adopted older sisters. I kissed him and then kissed his heart "I love you too Eric and yes I will marry you."

"Fucking finally, she admits it." He said smiling at me and winks at my scowl then takes my hand as he slides the ring on the correct finger. It is a thin silver band that I found out later is actually platinum with a square bloodstone gem and two smaller diamonds on either side of it. It fit perfectly and matched all the jewelry I had just been given. I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed with a shrug.

"Lauren helped me pick out the ring and then they got the jewelry to match it apparently. I think she was pretty sure of what your answer would be when I finally asked and when you finally kicked Peter to the trash."

I didn't respond because my tiredness had finally hit me and I leaned into him, yawning. He picked me up and carried me into bed where he just took my towel off of me and then we slid into bed sans clothes for the night. I fell to sleep pretty quickly wrapped up in his arms.

I groaned awake because I had a headache that only tequila could give me even when I don't get drunk from it. Eric shifted beside me and gave a groan of his own.

"Why are you waking up? The sun isn't even up." He pulled me closer to him.

"I fucking hate tequila. Can't even drink a little without getting a headache. Doesn't even matter if I don't get drunk, the bitch doesn't care." I moan pressing my hand to my head and he chuckles behind me then shifts away getting off the bed. I hear the faucet run in the bathroom and then he slides back next to me and helps me to sit up.

"Here take these." He holds the glass until I take the, what I can only hope are the fast acting aspirin, and hands me the glass of water. I take a big enough sip to get the pills down and then lay back down.

"Thank you." I croak out and he laughs.

"No more tequila then." He says after he lays down and pulls me to him and I nuzzle his neck.

"I don't think it is nearly as fun as Logan and Clary claimed for it to have been. Except for maybe when I got a few good kicks in on Logan before they got me back into my clothes." I whispered still hurting.

"Yeah let's not talk about you losing your clothes at parties full of horny ass dauntless men." He growled.

"Oh no that would have been a building full free love tree huggers that time. And I do mean free, amity put no constraints on who they decide to love up on that night. But Logan and Clary always took good care of me, I really only ever had to worry about Clary." I grin a bit.

"Do you know how close I came to throwing you over my shoulder after the thing with Tris happened? I thought for sure she was at least bi and that I had to worry about her too. She isn't, she just got hooked on your kisses." I felt him smirk and I chuckled.

"And now you can rub it in all their faces that I am for sure off the market, right? Is that what that smirk I feel is about?" I ask smiling.

"Damn straight." He pulled me in for a kiss that started out slow and picked up urgency the more we both woke up.

He broke away and pushed me into the bed and then kissed his way to my chest and teased me. My nails raked his shoulder and he grinned but moved to finally take my very hard nipple in his mouth. After he had moved the other one he began to kiss down further and my brow furrowed in confusion.

"Baby, what are you doing?" I groaned and he smiled as he had moved to my thighs and had me open my legs.

"I told you last night it would have to wait, but now I …" his mouth hovered me "...want to taste you properly."

My eyes got wide a second before he lowered his mouth and then all thought went out of the fucking window. My back arched and I gasped loudly, my hands got a death grip on the sheets. "Holy hell" I moaned.

I had never in my life felt something like that before and it felt fucking fantastic. It wasn't better than him inside of me but it came a very close second, especially when he started to move his fingers inside of me and use his mouth on my clit.

I orgasmed hard but was immediately pulling him up to me, which he didn't waste any time following. He entered me hard and fast as he crushed my mouth in a kiss and I moaned at the taste of myself on him. My hips met his every thrust and I truly learned exactly why moving my hips on the dance floor like I do can be such a turn on to men. It had him coming undone inside of me calling my name as I followed soon after.

Afterwards he laid down beside me and pulled me against his chest where we just lay there catching our breath. I was already starting to feel sleepy again and I could tell from his breathing he would be falling to sleep too.

He kissed my shoulder and neck."Love you Lia." He mumbled sleepily.

I smiled and sighed "Love you Eric."


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: And here is another update on Lia and Eric. I already have a few more chapters written out and will post as soon as I can. I hope you enjoy the story Lia is one of my favorites because of her fierce loyalty and how much of a soldier she truly is.**

 **Chapter 32**

 _He kissed my shoulder and neck from behind me "Love you Lia." He mumbled sleepily._

 _I smiled and sighed "Love you Eric."_

The next time I woke up I was in bed alone but I could hear him in the kitchen. I blinked and looked around his room. Really looked for the first time and saw that like the rest of the apartment it was pretty big.

His bed I already knew was massive without being oppressive. His sheets were a grey color with the comforter being the burgundy that was throughout his apartment. The long and low dresser was a unpolished steel that looked more industrial without being masculine or feminine.

I saw my bag was on top of it but by the way it was lying it was empty. I frowned but continued to look around and saw that there were a few bookshelves that flanked a small desk in the wall that separated the big closet from the bathroom. On the wall directly in front of the bed was a good sized TV that could be seen from the bed, a set of low bookshelves that were long and full of all kinds of books. There was a small armchair beside them that looked kind of perfect for sitting in to read.

Eric stood in the doorway smiling at me ."What, you don't want to roam around the apartment naked?"

I laughed shaking my head. "I don't care about that. I was just looking around. I didn't really do that last time. But since you mention it."

He laughed and shrugged. "Clothes go in drawers or closets, so they are in your drawers or the closet."

He walked over to the long set of drawers and went to the section closest to me. "Not all of them have shit in them obviously but I am sure Lauren and Shauna will try and take care of that soon. The closet has a few things but not much right now."

I smile and blush for some reason as he walks over and pulls me closer to that side of the bed. "Headache better?" He reaches up and moves some hair from my eyes.

I grin still a bit sleepy. "It was either the pills or the sex but yes it is better."

He chuckled. "Well, most women would say that obviously it couldn't be the sex because then that would blow the whole I have a headache excuse out of the water."

I shake my head in thought, because that could not be right. "But it has been proven that the release of.."

He bursts into laughter. "Yeah I don't think those studies help the fact that they don't want to have sex so they use that as an excuse."

I still frown and shrug. "Well their fucking loss."

He smiles and brings me to his lap. "You are so going to be trouble. I knew it from that first night, hell from the minute I laid eyes on you. But I wouldn't change it for one second."

We kiss for a few more minutes before he growls and pulls back. "Everyone wants to have breakfast together. Are you up for it? Because once they see the ring." He warns me.

"Then you will flash your Bad Ass Leader Eric face, yes you have your own face name, and they will shut that shit down. But is there any way that I could talk to Tris and I guess Four first?"

He kisses my neck and nods. "They are going to be here in about fifteen minutes. So you have that long to get ready and then we are all going to walk down together."

I smile at him happily. "How did you know I would want to tell her first?"

He shrugs shaking his head. "Because it's Tris and you. You are practically joined at the hip. She was the only person you really wanted to be able to tell first anyways."

I want to say a million things but I suck at talking about feelings and I am not very good at flowery shit either. So I just kiss him and show him with that then let it show through my eyes.

He answers back in kind before he gets up and I do the same. I shower off but don't wash my hair then put on a distressed pair of jeans, a tank and then one of the off the shoulder sweaters I love with the black dauntless flames up the side of the dark grey soft material. I throw on my boots and my hair in a side braid. I put the earrings and necklace that the girls gave me back on, but also my necklace with my dogtags and went to grab one of my jackets from the closet.

I groaned at the sight of the closet because he had already bought some stuff for me that was hanging up. Some of it was black tie formal, some semi-formal, some more like cocktail looking. There was still tons of room on my side and I had a feeling Lauren wasn't going to let me get away with a million pairs of pants and t-shirts. I shook my head and grabbed the grey and black leather jacket I preferred. Probably because it was exactly like Eric's only made for someone with boobs.

I made sure I had my tablet phone and then joined Eric out in the living room just as Tris and Four came in. Tris was beaming and I am pretty sure I had the same look. We each gave each other looks that we knew we would talk about that later.

Eric offered Tris and Four something to drink and then handed me some juice. Tris asked for the same thing and Four smiled.

"Sure I'll have the same. As long it isn't fucking liver." Four joked and I laughed. "You said you had something you wanted to tell us?" Four frowned as he took the glass and came to sit down next to Tris.

I noticed that when he sat down he pulled her chair closer to him and put his arm around her without even thinking most likely.

Eric already did that so when he came back to sit he was already close to me. I turned a bit red when he started smirking at me and motioned for me to go ahead. He was so not going to let me take the easy way on this. I understood what he wanted. He wanted to hear me say it to those I loved.

"Tris you already know about Eric and probably knew before I would admit it. But umm, it would appear I am in love with him and that he is with me. Though why after the shit I put him through.."

I heard him growl "Lia…what did I say about that."

I sigh and shrug. "Anyways he had asked me to marry him and I finally said yes. But it won't be until after the regular group's initiation at least. I am counting on you, Tris, to help keep the wolves at bay on the planning shit. And by wolves I mean all the fucking girls in our family because we have enough to worry about right now."

Tris smiled and came over to give me a hug and whispered. "I already knew he was going to ask. Lauren told me but no one else. I am glad Tali you deserve to be happy."

I hug her back tightly. "Thank you."

She looked at the ring and then went back to sit by Four who smiled but looked uncomfortable for some reason and then I figured out why. I could not stop laughing when it hit me.

He scowled at me "It's not fucking funny Tali. You know they are going to start hounding me as soon as you two announce it."

Eric and Tris start laughing as Tris pats his back, he grins a bit and kisses her forehead.

"You know, you could just tell them if they mention it once Tris and I will consider that as new volunteers for our knife target practice." I shrug.

He smiles at me with a nod. "I may take you up on that. I don't need people trying to tell me what to do, not that.."

I hold up my hands to stop him. "No one needs to try and dictate that or pressure someone no matter how well meaning they might be. I mean hell, we don't see anyone doing that to Zeke do we?"

We all laugh a bit and Tris looks relieved. I understand because you don't want the person you love to ask something like that because they felt pressured to do it. Four and Tris are private people and they deserve to do that how they want to.

We leave soon after and as the night before Four doesn't hide his relationship with Tris anymore. He holds her hand as they make their way down to the dining hall.

Eric and I walk beside them where the corridors permit it. He has his arm around my waist but has my arm around his too and those hands linked. We chat with Tris and Four occasionally about some aspect of training we felt could have been spent better or about the factionless. We had all gone for a run through the city and had noticed some pretty large groupings of them in two areas. It wasn't unheard of and they went on a sort of migration cycle.

"What I don't understand is Erudite has the resources to be able to provide a means to upgrade those buildings Abnegation have to spend years to take care of. And they can do it in mere months. I have seen the tech because it was an independent research project of mine with three others. I helped create it and it was patented. Meaning it went beyond just the planning stages." I grumbled.

Eric picked up on what that meant but Four and Tris frowned "It still costs them to produce…" Four started but Eric interrupted.

"No. Something that isn't really known about Erudite is that when something moves beyond a planning stage it goes into a production stage automatically. For software this means it gets being put into development and use because all of the bugs so to speak are already worked out before it ever even can be thought of leaving planning stages. That was what saved Jeanine's plans from going through like she had wanted because they never even got out of the planning stage at the time she was trying to do it here. There had been too many issues for it. When planning stage ends for a physical object like say a gun or a tablet phone it goes directly into production before a use is even needed or orders placed. They stockpile that shit, Four. Which is where most of my frustration in dealing with them comes from. They have it all sitting there in a warehouse somewhere and can't even use it. But they want their prices met and to get as much out of us as they can." His eyes are hard and body tense even thinking about Erudite.

Tris understands "So all of that is already made and no one else could even use it but they won't let Abnegation have it."

I scowl angrily. "Yeah but they sure as shit were happy I proposed the idea in the first place. Had I known it would just get shelved and not used I wouldn't have bothered. It was made because the projections of factionless crimes going down were almost astronomical compared to what they are now. They would still be factionless but they would have a better ability to provide for themselves and they could perform the functions that they are supposed to perform for the city but can't because they aren't well enough to." Don't get me started on my thoughts about them having been made factionless to begin with.

Eric squeezes me "Let's resume this conversation later guys. I will message Max about it and we can run it by him. If it has the potential to aid the protection of the city even by means of just being proactive we might be able to see what we can do with the council."

None of us really thought the council would do shit but we could at least try. Then I get a wicked grin across my face because I had a thought. I saw Eric look over at me and I shook my head and gave him a 'later' look.

He smirked at me and nodded.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

We walked into the dining hall and it wasn't packed but there were a good amount of people there. Our normal table was full of our group, with the addition of the Connor, Helo and Hector.

Four and Tris drew the looks from everyone else first but Four's glare had them looking away. They still whispered a bit but it wasn't the scandalized whispers I might have thought would happen. Even the other initiates both transfer or dauntless-born weren't too scandalized by it. A few guys looked a little deflated seeing her with him.

I don't know why I thought he wouldn't be, but Peter was at the table. Molly and Drew were sitting at the same table just not by him. That same girl from last night was there and not looking very happy with him. It didn't stop her from trying to play tonsil hockey with him. I only glanced that way long enough to see who all was there and had already looked away so I don't know what his reaction to me with Eric was.

We went through the line and Eric didn't even bother to get another tray as he held my hand. We just picked up things we both would eat and I grabbed our coffees and milk. We went over to the table and took our normal seats and started to exchange foods for each other. We had done this before in our early morning breakfasts but he was also the one to place my breakfast orders for me anyways. Today he had just gone with a spinach and cheese omelet with bacon. Then as a treat he had gotten me a blueberry and strawberry filled Danish.

He winked at me when he saw me smiling at him at that. Then he leaned down and kissed me briefly before pulling back and nodding to the group pointedly.

I sighed and made a grimace face. "Do I have to? Can't we go in waves?"

He laughed and nudged me. His laugh drew a few looks from other tables causing me to scowl a little.

"You should put on the Badass Leader Eric Face. I don't think Dauntless knows what to do without it apparently. You would think it was like one of the pillars of the Acropolis." I muttered to which he snorted and kissed me again.

"I love you and your sexy mind." He half-whispered above my mouth before kissing me again.

"I love you too. Now time to face the firing squad." I said looking at Lauren and Shonda who were eyeing the two of us grinning and holding hands, almost dancing in their seats. Hector and Connor were hiding smiles behind their hands apparently. At least I think that is why their elbows were on the table with their hands steepled in front of their mouths.

I clear my throat and Tris and Four hide smiles and lean into each other trying not to bring attention to how uncomfortable I look and are laughing quietly. We are all seated but it is like there is assigned seating in how we all go to the same spots.

"Guys." I stay looking up and down at the table of my friends. "I am going to tell you something and the first person I hear yell, scream or otherwise embarrass the fuck out of me will have to run the newest obstacle course that I run myself in the time I run it. Or die trying." I growl and I feel Eric start to quietly chuckle beside me and against my back since I am pulled against his chest currently. "Is that understood?" I use my commander voice.

I see heads nodding. Logan looks scared because he knows for sure what the new obstacle course is and the others have only heard.

"Eric and I are together." I start and get looks of, 'no shit' causing me to sigh. "And he asked me to marry him. I said yes. We won't even be thinking of planning or mentioning planning until the end of the regular groups initiation." I wince and close my eyes waiting for screams and yells. I stay with my eyes closed until I hear nothing and then open them back up.

Shonda, Lauren and Shauna are grinning from ear to ear and looking like they are about to bust as they get up running from the room. Clary and Mar are right behind them.

I frown as my eyes follow them out of the door. "Where are they going?"

Tris bursts out laughing along with Four until she finally manages to speak. "You told them they couldn't scream or anything. They had to leave to let out the pressure before their heads exploded!"

The rest of us laugh but then the guys and Lynn asked if they could at least get a hug.

Eric pointed to me "Her yes. Me? I'll still fuck someone up for that shit. I will take a handshake if you just fucking must." He muttered but he had a small smirk. Connor and Hector burst into laughter and three of them did some type of bro shake they had.

I was made to stand up and start getting hugs from everyone. Logan shook Eric's hand and they muttered something to each other before Logan kissed my forehead and pulled back to look at me "I am glad for you. I had a feeling but you can be stubborn so I couldn't say anything. It would have done more damage than good."

I grin, letting my dimples show. "You have no idea Logan. But thank you. You truly are my brother you know no matter what our blood says."

He smiles softly at me. "Visiting day is on Monday. Going to tell Mom and Dad?"

I nod and chew my lip in thought. "I would like it if Eric got to meet them at least."

He nodded and then Lynn hugged me and pouted about for sure no chances at make outs but looked at the ring and said it fit me. Ash was beside her and pulled me into an almost bone crushing hug and then kissed my forehead.

He leaned forward and whispered. "I don't care who he is. If you hurts you in any way Talia, I will fuck his world up."

I kissed his cheek and smiled. Eric had been watching with an eyebrow raised but didn't saying anything. We hear whispers around the dining hall. I just hope it is because it looks like we have announced we are together and not getting married. But I don't try and hide the ring or my smile.

I got to sit back down to eat finally, but only because Eric started to become militant about it. I sighed when I got to bite into my Danish. "Did you have them make this specifically for me?" I asked leaning in to his side since he had his arm around me.

He shrugged and smiled. "Maybe. Not like I don't get to eat it too though. You, Me, Tris, Daria and Max are all eating them. I had them make Leo's wife Selene ones with strawberries though. By the way. I took a few kitchen people to your garden so they harvested them from there. Hope you don't mind. They got quite a bit and even got some of the herbs. Your tomatoes didn't make it, sorry. I needed them to tell me how to preserve it or some cuttings for ours. They were able to at least start the process."

I almost teared up hearing that and I frowned until he kissed my forehead then sighed. "It's ok to be happy about something, Lia. I know it meant a lot to you and it meant something to me too."

I nod and smile at him. "Thank you. Especially since you know how I suck at being good with saying how much it meant and means to me."

He smiled with a shrug. "Not exactly verbose myself."

Tris was sharing her Danish with Four who looked surprised at how good it was. She looks at me with a smile. "I would like to help with the garden. I had a small one on top of the house but I could only grow some flowers and grass there. I also can't wait to try a salad the way you make them. It sounded really good."

I smile at her happily."I would love to have you help. But I hope you won't mind if I take the opportunity to get some sun while I am at it. Reading and sunbathing after gardening were just one relaxation I had outside of working out."

She blushes a bit and shakes her head. "Four said that they are thinking about putting in a pool like Erudite has because it is a good skill to have but also it is a good exercise."

Eric nods after he drinks a bit of coffee. "It is. You work muscles you wouldn't even think about. Plus it can help to do that when someone barely has any. Take you for instance when you first came here. You guys busted ass hard to get you past what others started with. And while you did it fast it still took longer than say Andy who came from Candor. Had we had a pool it could have cut that time in half most likely."

I nod eager at the prospects this could have for the elder Dauntless members too. "It's also great for injury recovery, anxiety issues, arthritis and loads of other conditions. Hydrotherapy has been used going all the way back to at least the Tudor Era in Great Britain if not beyond. I mean Roman baths are at least an example of it being earlier. But in England the nobles would take trips to Bath and go to hot springs because it was rumored to be the fountain of youth or some such shit. Really it was just the sulfur of the hot springs combined with the fact that being able to relax your entire body and go weightless helped to reduce the stresses on the body providing relief for longer exposure." I rattle off in between bites of my Danish.

Eric gets that lustful look on his face and turns to me then looks to the table. "Excuse us. We just need to have a word with each other."

Without another word he stands pulling me with him up and away from our table. I hear snorts and chuckles then something about honeymoon being said before we pass out of the dining hall. He takes me to a somewhat dark alcove in what looks like an unused corridor then pushes me against the wall then covers my body and mouth with his.

His kiss is searing and I return it but not knowing what brought this on. I hear and feel him fumbling with my zipper of my pants and then that and my underwear are pushed down followed by his. He breaks the kiss finally only to turn me around and bend me over slightly. I gasp as he enters me swiftly and pushes all the way in me in one hard push.

Now that he has entered me he pulls me back a bit so he can reach my neck and throat.

"Do you.." he pulls out part of the way "...know how fucking sexy you are?" He rams back in to me.

"Eric" Is all I am able to say as he goes for the spot on my neck he knows sets me off.

"Fuck baby you feel so good." He says as he pounds into me and his teeth and mouth continue their attentions.

"Eric, so deep." I moan and he smirks into my shoulder.

"Touch yourself while I take you baby. I want to feel you come." He half grunts and whispers near my ear.

I blush even in the middle of what we are doing and reach down to find my clit then start to rub it in circles as he continues to pound into me.

I try to keep my moans down but can't help but let one escape when he wraps his hand in my hair and whispers in my ear before he bites down He sucks on that same pleasure point that only he knows sets me off. "I want you to come now, Lia. Come with me baby."

It is perfectly timed and I orgasm with a strength I had never imagined. My walls closing around him tightly send him over the edge he was already at. Even he doesn't manage to hold in his groan of pleasure as he calls my name.

I am smirking, throbbing and feeling way too fantastic as we straighten up to make ourselves presentable again. How he managed to get my braid undone I am not sure but also don't care. His smirk matches my own but he smiles before he kisses me gently.

"You're going to have to watch when you choose to turn on all that sexy fucking intelligence, Lia. Or we could be in a world of trouble at some point. Luckily there aren't any cameras in this spot." He said has he pulled me close to him.

I smiled dreamily. "We are Dauntless, and if it results in that.."

I trail off as he laughs. "Leave your hair down. I like being able to wrap my hands in it. Let's get back to breakfast."

We come back in smiling and some people's jaws drop at Eric Coulter smiling. Some girls are looking at me with murderous eyes. Our friends are looking smug, amused and some like they are barely restraining laughter.

Tris looked at me and smiled as we sat down and started eating as if nothing had just happened. My face is flaming red though and Eric has a shit eating grin on his face as he eats some of his omelet.

Connor smirks over at Eric and breaks the silence. "Did you get that matter resolved to your liking, Eric?"

Eric just turns to look at him grin still in place and takes a bite of his food. He doesn't even say anything. His look says it all and those at the table burst into laughter except for Tris and Four. Who are as red as me.

Eric shrugged at my silent plea to tone the smugness down and smirked then toned his grin down. He slipped his arm around me and pulled me close again.

Lauren and the others finally had come in. I had to stand and give hugs as they each kissed my cheek and looked at the ring. I frowned when Lauren came up to me because it looked like she had been crying. I was about to go on the warpath.

She laughed at me and calmed me down. "No, no one upset me. It is why it took so long to come back. I had to stop crying. I know you and Tris are super close. But I look at you like Lynn. You are my little sister Talia and I just want you to be happy. I am just glad you are going to let yourself be."

My heart both broke and felt a little bit fuller hearing that. I teared up slightly and hugged her. "You are my sister too Lauren. I promise when it gets time for it you can help me plan along with the others. Just remember I will still be me and Eric will still be Eric, so no fancy shit. And there better be whiskey or beer there, at least for me. Because screw the fruity shit."

This had the desired effect and everyone laughed. We were nearing the end of eating and Eric leaned in. "Max wants us to go over to the leader table. We kind of have to announce it to them. But not to the whole dining hall or even loudly. It just has to be made official. They will explain what will happen at next week's' dinner at Erudite."

I nodded a bit nervous. "That's fine, I understand."

I looked over to the leader table and those gathered there but I am distracted by a small commotion over at the transfer table. Peter is looking at me and Eric. The mask he always wore for everyone was gone because he couldn't hide the sadness in his eyes as he looked at me. Molly was leaning in close to him and barely containing her anger.

She was angry at him for something and he didn't seem to care at the moment. He looked from me to Eric and I felt Eric stiffen then hold me tighter. Peter's eyes got this hard look for a moment then they softened as he looked back to me. He gave a nod to me or Eric, maybe even both before he looked away and to Molly. He said something to her and she turned white. Then he got up and walked away. Molly and Drew frowned, then started talking to each other while looking in the direction Peter had just walked.

I looked over to Eric who was watching me. I shrugged and smiled at him. He relaxed a bit and kissed me. I frowned at him. "What were you worried about Eric?"

He shrugged with a bit of a frown. "That I would see you upset or regretting ending it maybe."

I scowled with a huff. "You know I am not that type of girl. I don't say the words I did lightly, Eric. As in ever."

He nodded and pulled me close. "Me either. I'm sorry I just am happy to have you and once you look at yourself as not worthy of something…"

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Same thing you said to me. Don't let me hear your degrade yourself and think that about yourself again."

He smiled and kissed me. "Ready to go see Max and the others?"

I nodded and looked at Tris. "What are you guys doing today?"

Four grinned with a shrug. "She convinced me to watch a few movies you had recommended. Zeke got my apartment set up and then Leo and Helo got together a bunch of Vids for us."

Tris smiled and looked excited. I nodded with a smile too. "I'll message you later then."

Eric had gone and taken our trays to the collection area as I gave the others my goodbyes and hugs. Lauren had arranged with Eric to come by the apartment that night or the next day and help me make things how I wanted them, or something like that.

When he came back he held out a hand for me and gave it a reassuring squeeze as we made our way over to the table. The whispers followed us but stopped when Connor and Eric started throwing out glares.

Daria looked up to me with a smile as Eric pulled me down to sit beside him. "Hello Talia. Eric how are you both this morning?" She asks a bit smugly looking between the two of us.

Eric's lips twitch slightly and he shakes his head. "Good morning Daria, Max, Leo and Andrea. We are fine thank you."

I swallow nervously and hope Eric will handle this part. He does which I am thankful for. Max looks between us and Eric smirks. "I would like to inform Leadership that I asked Talia to marry me last night. She said yes but she would like to wait until after the regular initiation group is done with training."

The leaders, but mainly Daria and Max, beam at Eric and I. "That is wonderful news Eric. Talia we are really happy to have you joining the family, in more ways than one. I am guessing Eric has told you about what that extra training is from?"

I smile at Max and nod. "Yes Sir and I am honored for the opportunity."

Max tilts his head and smiles at me. "I think we all knew well before certain information was revealed that you were the right one for the position. We won't talk about that matter right now though. When off days are over though we will need to talk about that. For now though we just need to go over the dinner at Erudite next week."

I nod respectfully to him but Leo picks up with a smile at me. "First you will be introduced as a Leader in training under me, but also you will be introduced as Eric's fiancee'. Because you will be with Eric and he is Second in Command you will be joining him at the table with the other Senior leaders. Are you aware of the protocol for the formal dinners at Erudite?"

I try not to show my distaste and fail, causing smirks around me as I nod. "Unfortunately yes I am aware. There is the receiving line that the top two leaders of each faction, along with their spouses or dates, must stand in to greet everyone. Then there is the opening dance that must be seen to as well. It is also expected that at some point the spouses or dates of the main five leaders of each faction will break away and go to a smaller reception room where they will greet the other spouses and dates of the lower leaders or senior members. Then the night closes how it began with a dance and farewell line." Boring as shit and I will need whiskey for sure.

Connor and Eric are trying and failing to repress their chuckles at my open disdain for the whole pompous affair.

Max nods with a smirk, biting his lip. "Yes it is rather….stuffy. They have good scotch though."

I smirk at him and shrug. "Well then that I can handle."

This drew laughs from the others and I chewed my lip in thought. Eric nudged me, so I turned to look at him then back at the others. "Sir's, Ma'am's. When I talk to you after off days, I would like to run an idea by you and there are other vital things I need to talk to you about. It might help with that revelation."

Max took on his leader face and nodded. "First thing Tuesday morning we can all meet in the secure conference room then. 0700 hours, sound good?"

I nod firmly and start planning the best way to present the idea. I will need to talk to Eric though more fully about what it will involve. After that though Eric and I said our goodbyes and made our way back to his apartment.


End file.
